i want to write about being in love
the feeling in my stomach is
disshelveling

hope he doesn't hear this
but hope that he leans in
close enough for me to see his dreams and

hope that im up in them

im back only for a minute
love to talk even if its just
to get there

its rough like
the edges between us
these words dont flow
but they spill out sideways
and dont miss a thing

watching too many things
pls dont waste my time

trying to figure out
how i fell in love
when i was so fenced in
and thought that i was all alone

i built these walls exactly 8 feet tall  
the only one who knew the combination on the wall
the gate wouldn't open unless you broke it down  
and my tears were enough to make you drown

but then it rained
it rained so hard
i was in the pool when the thunder rung
and next the lightning,
it was all the same

i opened my eyes, i was robbed
for my walls were all gone

big room
no one home
you want it
so go get it

big lights
all boast
talking loud
not moving tho

thats a no

if the saint is the sinner
then who is this angel on my shoulder
telling me to not look back

i have a headache from
the horns growing out of my head
but i look back
and you're there again

the sinner and the saint
a killer deal

they couldn't wait
they took me in
and sold my soul
to buy you

and i was left with a prayer
that one day I can be whole
but we both know that it doesn't work that way

surrounded by the broken egg shells
surrounded by spilled milk
the cottage cheese is clumpy as it runs down the freezer door

but im reaching anyway
because my failures surround me
but this noosa yogurt is top shelf

boy better make up his mind
im not trying to wait up all night

text me back
did you forget that I got what you lack

is this new or am i bored
you remind me of what i had before

im not gonna waste any time

do ya'll just like poetry or do ya'll just like
words

do ya'll just like money or do ya'll just like
numbers

do ya'll think about your fate or do ya'll just  
exist

do ya'll want something from me or do ya'll just
hate

do ya'll really know me or do ya'll just
want to know me

look at me
look at you
in my zone but all alone
in love but not with the soul
unfamiliar love songs
sing to me and
ill be at your home
in your arms
these poems no good

just let me know
let me know
let me know and ill give you my soul

three times the charm
look at your phone

SETTLE DOWN

wondering if, i can make something so seamless turn reality into a dreamland

thats enough of the talk about it
instead of the being about it

youll never know if you dont try
and keep trying
and if you fail over and over
while people succeed the first time

maybe your just a rare breed
that will make it in time

they say the taste is something your born with
not something you can buy

but your parents bought yours

so what does that make you

over
whelmed
stimulated
due

these itch at the top of my skin

feel
love
passion
light

these live at the bottom of my soul

this is not a love poem, rather a PSA
these people take away from my mind, my ideas, my body, my thoughts, my wants, my loss, my no, my yes, my solitude, my night out, they take everything to benefit themselves

and pretend to like me; what a shame that this is

the life of a creative

ok so i am actually literally really totally

going to make a film

am i the one who drove you off track
is that what i do

you paved the path ahead of you
put in the work
you learned what you had to

i came in and i took from you
is it me?

but maybe everything really isn't about me

crying and laying on my side
watching the city pass me by
i could be living my best life
instead ill stick to these lies

there is the rush
there is the go
there is the red hand stopping you
but everyone keeps going

there is the very tall buildings
there is something at every corner
there is a completely new world
but does it compare to the one you had before?

are there endless possibilities or are there endless rejections?
i think there is room for both

because when you turn on that one song
the city is at your hands
and you can do
everything

the king of the cul de sac
she stood
the party music played loud
the camera zoomed in
the lights went off
the day really just began
and as she looked in his eyes
she felt
nothing

this one movie man
like i mean **** shes crazy

i love her and she loves me
every time i watch her i feel whole

is it weird to want to marry a movie

everyone knew his name
and they tended to prey
but we prayed for him and
we adored him

but did we lead him astray

did we take away his every day  

when this was his last we talked about him
his soul will stay the same

i know you dont want me to do this
and you want to see me fall so hard
i never recover

i could never though
too high up
im on a whole another level

just know that i might
because this grass is greener
and the moon is in full bloom

pulling my tides aligned
my life is lined up
the 26th floor
is too low for me forever more

i do anything for you

the truth is

i cannot ignore you  

the truth is

im all out of games to play

the truth

is just a lie now

is it an act
or are you real?
you're a character
i wrote
yet i don't remember
writing myself in

feeling this out and i might be able to write it out before its too late
and i hope i make you feel like this

i think its so unfair that you read what i wrote. you saw me say i love you online, but not to your face. don't act like they're the same.

staying in one place can make you complacent
for greener days and brighter grass

but either way i mix up my words
and found that

an old place can be just as good as a new place
but there is nothing like the city

writing in a public space but
hidden behind my screen

no one knows what im typing
and it feels exciting  

like

im doing something bad
in the back seat with you

but your far away now
and my screen is all i see now

curled up on the couch
my life changed
slowly than fast
but i don't want to be here anymore

i thought the city would change me
give me back me the pulse that
used to run through my veins and straight into
your soul

but i cant believe I ever even considered you