i said
to you
that i can see
enough
to avoid
this

but i guess
i am still
not
strong enough
to avoid
this

i'm
repeating
a pattern
predicted
and pointed

spiraling
forever
in and out
of your life

until

do you still read me
and see me
even though
i said
you don't need
me

how can i be
so happy
and also
so very sad?

there was
a turn
today
when my love
began
to decay

watching you
again
walking away
run
run
to her
and so
please
stop
talking like
you’re
coming back

i thought of you the whole way up
the way we laughed last time we were here
and you walked first
to catch the spider webs
i took a photo of you
with the sun rays shining down
from between the fluttering leaves
the wind carried your voice
so i couldn't hear everything you said
as you walked ahead with more speed
than i wanted
like you were trying to get away from me
and like i am now
always trying to keep up
while you're slowly moving
away

i should have made you stay