Being lost in time, not staring at a screen,
Communications might be what we majored in.
Never have I felt, things with anybody else.

Even after putting myself out there, I've never felt so comfortable being around somebody.

Lied to myself I didn't , all I wished was to see you smile.

I'm scared to say, show, and shun away most of the days

I want to know how's your day,
But day after day, I hope I'm not bothering you. You seemed to have so much on your plate, sometimes I hesitate. You've done so much I don't know who else could handled it.

From hospitals rooms to tight hugs with waves crashing on your tee, bro you've done it!

I believe time will tell, what the future awaits, if I'm not the lucky one that ******* better appreciate,
I'm sick and tired of seeing you being treated like this, don't make my heart dissapate.

Starting this thinking it would be short and sweet, but there's so much I wanna say and do, when I think about you.

Till the day I've grown to be a better person, only than I'll have the courage to ask for your hand. Till than I hope you find a better man.

Till than, let's see where this journey ends. For once I'm looking forward to something that excites me.

:')

why do you think,
that you deserve nice things,
blinks and things
things on your plate
things to bring out
things to get high...

why the ****
am i taking it for granted
why the ****
must my brain work this way

to just wanna get so ******* high
its a trap to grow up i always say
but its my mistake
for doing better than this state

**** this imma **** this all
always somewhere here and there,
neither nor,
what the **** do i want?

take care and god bless me
for if there is a god out there
seeing all my ******* and troubles,
do the job faster
the faster the better
bc i believe we should have a chat
before i start negating all man kind

everybody be spitting ****
saying this done and that done
but what is really done
is the damage done.
they say 'once u popped, you never stop'
even tilll X's death
popped bombs day in and out
going out the back door
getting popped in front.

pop  drop thud
out cold on the floor
wishing the day to come sooner
to visit him 3 feet under.

but what struck me the most,
was that he was even dead before he died,
like many of us,
we are just living off borrowed time.

in so many ways i relate,
hopefully not anymore,
as i hope and wish
i will find something sooner
this ***** gonna **** me for sure
but if i die with a xan on my tongue,
stone me to death fight me even when im down.

with all said and done
x's gonna see me sooner,
gonna give him my supplier
if he has none.

im done.

They said many thing
Things that sometimes meant something.
But never did i regret not listening to them,
Even after that have worked.


The drugs always worked
They are a lying through their teeth,
They got methods of getting you back.
But once i get back on my feet,
Im saying **** u,
Im no longer in your grip.

But for now i stand defeated,
Knowing the extreme,
When will it be my turn
To turn my head
And say *******,
IM CLEAN

Take me to a place
To a fantasy
Where there is only you and me
Sparking up a King Kong finger
Under the palm tree
Bozing to our hearts content
Listen to the wave
Because I wanna get as high with you
Till everything
Came crashing
Like the waves
That eventually destroys the beach


And now underneath that palm tree
Stay under there
Because like the waves
You destroyed me

saying goodbye to the people that were close to me,
building up walls but i'm saying i'm lonely,
is this my way of drowning myself in self pity?
but i'm changing friends like it doesn't matter,
closing out on those that really matter,
pulling friendship down like tap water,
how do i better myself,
in this weather?

is it better that i stay isolated,
from the world that i used to love.
for now getting high is my only option,
to feel this high thinking i will only get better.

so i lie inside the four walls i have build,
to tell myself how great it is without anyone,
anyone except you.

goodbye to everyone who actually cared,
i say my peace and now it's fair.
what am i gonna do,
when i'm gonna lose everybody,
and myself too.

what can i say?
what can i do?
to be right there with you.
behind the screen,
screams mean to my brain.
why can't i just be me,
why u did'nt liked it,
do you?

reddish-brown or greenish-brown,
colorblind but now i see,
all in the hazelnut tree,
all in the roots of my memory,
but now i hearby,
want to be blind again,
and probably say,
goodbye instead.

they say,
once this is over,
you'll be sober,
but now that its over,
when will i ever be sober?
change the norm,
face the norm,
**** the norm,
before it dorms you,
into a pithole,
of wide addictionsssss.....

bruning,
its feels something,
hot and ****** up,
but now it seems,
burning or cooling,
doesnt seesm to feel anything.
what is it like anymore,
to feel this burining sensation,
even though,
this burning sensation,
wont feel a **** anymore.

pain gain,
thats how you become stronger.
the painer it gets,
the more gain we get,
but wy do i realize,
the more pain i get,
the weaker i get,
so stop trying to find gain,
before you feel nothing,
but a blank space.

We are all prisoners,
Prisoners of our own thoughts,
Keeping captive a small person inside of your head,
Torturing,
And dying a little inside,
We we ever let this prisoner go,
How would all of us become?