why do i feel this constant need to be sad
to think about it
because if i don’t dwell on it
did it ever even happen?
he would say it didnt
the 10 other people in the room would agree
so why do i still think about it
it sits still in the back of my mind  
watchint the dominos begin to fall
all caused by its very presence

it’s funny how something so incredibly stable
can turn to chaos in a matter of seconds
the silent chaos
the type that shatters you inside until nothing but the memories are left
the memories your trying so hard to forget
that are now etched onto your chest
that’s the worst kind
the silent type
because no one knows what’s happening
no ones aware of the damage you endured
of the loss you felt in that moment
of the hands you see on you whenever you look in the mirror
of the hours you spent arguing with yourself on wether or not to speak up
the internal dispute, fighting with none other than yourself
which you eventually lost
the weak side in you always prevails doesn’t it?
kicking past the door of possibility wherever you step foot

i came crashing and burning
like tidal waves in a storm
trying to wash away any parts of you
and when it all came down to it
when i thought you never left
you weren’t there from the start
not where i was at the very least
in a fairytale of my own creation
the memories fluorescent and bright
the future filled with promise
the past nothing but a bad dream
but everything comes to an end
the clock finally stops
and all that’s left
is the bitter taste of what once was

just shut up
i need silence,
an escape
it’s loud enough in my mind
i need to catch a breath
a breath?
funny how that’s what i’m fighting for
so please for the love of god,
shut up.