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carla May 30
an angel on a horse
you are an angel on a horse
galloping around a meadow of our memories
the good part of it all
and as the sun touches your face
the blue in your eyes glistening
the song in your heart echoing through the leaves
as it all starts to look up
the song in your heart comes to a standstill
the lush green forest turns into mulch
the
you look down and there i am
with a knife to your heart watching the notes of song pour out
along with the shining velvet of my pain dripping down inherently
it was all a lie
for you are the devil in disguise
and i fell for it
carla May 30
i come stained
unable to wash him away with every attempt i make
unable to reverse the mistake i made
the looks i gave
the flame i ignited
it’s my fault
it’s my ******* fault
although not physical,
i am stained
my heart so fragile, so disposable
that with every beat it becomes more and more empty
my brain eventually letting go of any thoughts it blurts out
until i depend on no one but myself
but how can i depend on myself when i myself am the predator
carla Jan 28
knuckles tucked under warm sweaters
hugs masking the falling snow
birds all wrapped up in their feathers
watching all of winter grow

melted marshmallows on a stick
family gathered around it all
never once feeling sick
of the surplus of joy not present in fall

christmas carolers chanting lyrics
showing what it means to be
putting aside all our gimmicks
underneath the christmas tree
wrote this back in winter forgot to share it on it, warm fuzzy feelings thinking about it
carla Jan 28
oh to be a sunflower
called upon by the sun
to dance delicately around the moon
with arms long and wide
soaking up every last drop of sunlight
until the day you die
your soul fluorescent
like the yellow that shines through you
to not have a care in the world
the only thought in your mind
wether or not the bees stopped by
coming to say hello
on their way to all the other sunflowers
all living such an simple
yet wonderful life
oh to be a sunflower
carla Jan 28
he was a mean scrawny old man
anxiety
causing havoc
in every direction he stepped foot
making you to think of all the possible ways you could fall
when reaching for the stars
while his best friend overthinking
sat and thought of a million more
suffered a lot with anxiety the last couple of years , finally getting better enough to start writing about it
carla Jan 28
why do i feel this constant need to be sad
to think about it
because if i don’t dwell on it
did it ever even happen?
he would say it didnt
the 10 other people in the room would agree
so why do i still think about it
it sits still in the back of my mind  
watchint the dominos begin to fall
all caused by its very presence
carla Jan 28
like a lemon drop
expecting a slight taste of sorrow
but instead being met with the overwhelming grief that accompanies it
as the drop melts onto your tongue
the flavor slowly triggering your appetite
your hunger for more becomes apparent
you’ve been starving yourself
not feeling anything really
the sweetness of it all starts to seep in
that sorrow,
that grief,
all dissipates into nothingness
thoughts clouding your mind
when everything but nothing remains
who would do all this?
just for the sweet taste of what once was
for with every true adventure
comes a nasty resurgence,
it’s perfect complement
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