Her head upon my chest
Resting; sobbing
Her arms around me
And mine around her
I know this feeling
I've been there before
I wish I could just take it
Free you of this burden
It's the least I could do for you
To bear the weight of your pain
It's my duty to protect you
Especially when you cannot protect yourself

Arms open, looking up
Taking in the world with each breath
Inhaling the toxicity and poison
But no less returning the gift of life
As I plant my feet firmly in the soil
Long devoid of all essence
Eroding away in the same winds
Which threaten to topple me
My purpose is to give
I act as a buffer
My voice goes unheard
And my legs are broken

And all I did was give the gift of life

Love is to see the forest through the trees
And the mountains beyond
When the land is obscured by fog

To feel the presence of another
And to feel her desire

Love is to embrace the coldest winter nights
Empowered with faith the thaw will come
And spring will warm our hearts

To listen to the rain against your window
And know that everything is alright

Rain, the source of life
Each drop blessing the leaves
The soil; The Earth
It cleanses and renews
It brings hope
And on the darkest of nights
It provides a calming respite

Sometimes it just takes time

Ice melts
Frost thaws
And a frozen heart burns once more

The storm passes
The sky clears
And the sun warms my life once more

Sometimes I just need to give it time

I was blind once
Deaf too
But realization was soon to follow

I didn't need to see
Didn't need to hear

I only needed to speak
And to be heard

I can see my future on the horizon
And I can hear it calling my name

It just needed time.

It's funny
It's so easy to tell myself
Words don't matter
What they say can't hurt you

But you can say whatever you want
Nothing really matters when all you are is a facade
Just an emotionless wall on the outside
Slowly rotting away on the inside

Their words are my own now
Echoes of the emotions trapped within the void inside me
Unable to escape
Trapped in the black hole that is me

I'm okay
          I'm okay

                              I'm okay
          I'm okay

                    I'm okay
    I'm okay

                                              I'm okay

Blank screen, as usual

It seems I never know what to say
Never know what to do either
I just sit here, wondering how I can even
Begin to let my thoughts spill out

Just words without a purpose
Thoughts without reason
Crumbling vestiges of what I feel
Lost in translation

Like trying to go to work
But being hit by a bus in the crosswalk
Never reaching their destination
Much to the feigned dismay of coworkers

Life continues
I'll just take another sick day, I guess

Darkness awakens
Shadows shroud my soul

Light is fading
Shaking, shivering, cold

Dreams infiltrate
Restless nights and lack of sleep abound

World's ending
Cities scorched and burning to the ground

I close my eyes and hide myself away
Content for now to suffer
The fear I know; The words I'll never say

I run and run, to where I do not know
Unsure of the path I'm taking
Unsure of what the future does not show

Raining fire
Everything I knew and loved is gone

Slowly dying
Are all the ones I've truly loved and known

Why am I still alive in all the flames
Why must I survive the torment
Of my mind's sickening games

Why am I the only one who's left
Why could the end
Not have stolen my final breath

Midnight, awoken
Vivid visions of our final days

Heart's pounding
Frightened of the end of our ways

I know not the reason for this torture
I know not why I cannot sleep
I know not the cause of my vision
I know not why it won't leave me be

Everyday I make a cup of tea
Or two, or three

But everyday I always forget
That I made my cup of tea

...

Now I have iced tea

I'm never alone
I have my thoughts

Happy thoughts
Sad thoughts

Joyful thoughts
Lonely thoughts

Anxious thoughts
Depressive thoughts

Painful thoughts
Hurtful thoughts

Happy thoughts
Happy thoughts
Happy thoughts

I wish I was alone

Every day when the time has come
I walk to a door kept closed

Inside this room, a grand stage
As I enter, the lights dim
And I'm transported

To a world of fantasy and surrealism

A place where one may be entertained
Thrilled and excited, or frightened and harrowed
A Theater of Dreams

A theater free of charge
But where you'll never know what you'll get

On the stage plays the show
A show that even if I were to close my eyes
I'd never miss a second

A show about love and hate
Mania and depression, cyclicality and repetition

A show where the meaning may never be known

Perhaps recounting the events of the past
Or the mistakes you've made

Perhaps a portent of good fortune
Or an omen of ill fate

And just when one starts to find the meaning
The lights come on; the curtain falls
The show is over, and you're left
With more questions than answers

Was it a fantastic thriller?
Or a harrowing omen?
Was it a surreal experience?
Or a frightening vision?

The only certainty is that I find myself
Coming back again and again
Trying to see the same show
Trying to perceive new meaning

But every night, the cast is different
And the subject is unfamiliar
Yet the outcome is always the same
I do not know the meaning

And every day when the time has come
I walk to a door kept closed

To a world of fantasy and surrealism

When I put my headphones on
Everything just seems to melt away

Then a slow upwelling of assorted instruments
Violin, cello, piano
I hum along

Then words; many of them, sometimes strangely arranged
Waiting to be interpreted
I sing

The song is always one that resonates within me
It has deeper meaning
I ponder

A drum beat unlike any other
Changing time and rhythm
I play along on my desk

I've never felt or experienced more
Than when I'm lost in my music

I have a little black book
Inside are names
Names of those I know
Some I love
Some I onced loved
Some I came to despise
Every time I open the book
It makes me sad
Most of these names
I haven't spoken to in years
Some I barely remember
Sometimes I add new names
Not as often as I used to
And every time I do
A light shines inside
Before being extinguished
Once again
As I close my little black book
A little black book full of me

Hey, are you there?

If I waved my hand
As if to attract your attention

Would you see me?

Would you even
Go as far as to
Wave back?

Can you see me
In the darkness

Can you see my
Desire for your attention

Even if it is just trivial
In the end...

If I called out to you
"Hello"

Would you hear me?

Might you even
Ask me a question?
"How are you?"

Can you hear me
Through the strife?

Can you hear my
Call for your atention?

Even if it is just trivial
In the end...

Can you feel
My grasp slip away
As I fall into despair?

Can you hear
My cries for help
As the bond begins to tear?

Can you see
My final breath?
Or do your even care?

Why?

Why even care?
Notice?
Acknowledge?

I'm just a grain of sand...

Dust in the wind...

Maybe there are others...

So I ask...

"Hey, are you there?"

A shift of winds
A change of seasons

A chill in the air
As darkness turns to white

Like fading to static

The joy in my heart
The smile on my face

Before it all ends
And fades to black once again

As I watch the weather change

The story is beautiful
Words organized expertly
Feelings poured out onto the page

But the feelings are staining the paper
And some words can no longer be seen
Beauty can be quite dangerous at times

It blinds us to the growing pool
Emotions leaking out
Only to be sopped up with a damp rag

And tossed in the
     Trash
          Never to be seen
               Again

Wither away
Like a rose past its prime
Like leaves in the fall

Wither away
Like a dying soul

Wither away
Until the light fades
Until your sight blurs

Wither
Until you can't feel the pain anymore