This has become more important.
Lost in my dreams, lost in my mind.
Blame onto me, I know the fault.

Faulty lines, different views. I miss you.
We are better apart, but only you know.
It beats on, it beats on.

Staring up, steaming, and breathing.
No tears, it’s not you.
It’s what you made me realize.

Realize that I am not human.
Shying away from what’s good, what’s right.
Cowering lifelessly, withholding, complacent.

Jellyfish, no brain. No soul.
I’m a star, bright and spectacular.
Only you, nocturnal and beautiful, stayed to see me.

Once the sunlight broke, I was gone.
Those nights, my brightness.
Now I simmer alone.

Rudimentary trifling in creativity
Boiled down, frothy lines
Stumbled, broken relations.
Too much, too open,
Yet nothing is hidden between.
It’s not about the words
Stalky presentations mask what is meant
Overthought, underappreciated.
Expecting the praise, knowing the torment

Embarrassment.

I want the spaces.
**** the lines.
A blank page says more than a thousand full.
No thoughts, shot spark
Tired form, ugly flow.
She has no shame,
Takes no judgment
Jealous gawk,
Rooted fears,
Expression is the enemy
Lack of substance drives the ghost.

Moments stalled, in lull.
Touches linger, embrace.
Pause, frozen glance of urge.
Silent push, play.

Sitting, waiting,
Watching the clouds on the brink.
Spilling, dripping onto summer’s green face.
Blemishes, cracks
Weakness shown as they are slowly met by the ground.
Running, leaving
Away from the safe, fluff home.
Scared, chased
By the thunderous roars.
Runaways.
Dodging the light, cutting through the thick hot air
Refugees.
Unwanted, tired
Falling into the unknown,
Down.
Gathered in pools, ****** into glass
Some stand alone
Dripping and sad.
Pitter-patter, no one cares, no one listens
Their cries soothe us back to sleep.
How can we be soothed by billions being force from their homes?
Eloping
Escaping
Carried.
Stolen by the wind and sun
Pounded by the ground,
Homeless, hopeless, lost.
No longer welcome, safe.
Cast from their utopian cloud bliss,
just disregarded ***** tears.

Left alone to wander
Down the black stone road
Gushing, splintered, homebound
Spinning from the fall

Tightened, tinkered, totaled
Forced to reconcile
Is a call to arms in order,
Or is this just a trial?

Patched by panes of forgiveness
Light seeps through the blinds
The hurt is not well hidden
It’s just a matter of time.

Swelling, steaming, simmer
It flows over the brim
Caught by common courtesies
Stifled by general decency

Animalistic glances
Looks of sheer desire
Civilization is not well organized

Let’s set the ******* on fire.

Grown askew
Patched a few
Pricked by thistles
Thick in vine
Crawling out to see the light
Shivers at the break of night
Torn and hassled

Burnt, burnt

Wick is silent,
Witness none.
Crying out,
The deed is done.

Cold and conscious, lying still
Breathe in, breathe in.
Wisps that link the frozen ****
Deep and snowy candid gazes
Bursting flames,
Revealed in traces.
Chilled, chalk cold white touch
Remnants of  the old one's gruff.

Stunted trust
Budding interest
Careless clues, taunting…

Sullen looks
Second glances
Fiery touch, trailing…    

Coded.
Scripted.

The tangled ties of treason

Tilts, stumbles, crashes down
Empty promise, no heart found
Anger welling, seeping out
Softly trickling stream of doubt
Quickly down the steps it winds
Into the attics of our minds
Parking ideas, camping out
Filling spaces, end of route
Don’t forget to pay the toll
Pay it fast, pay in whole.

She cries
Not on the outside, not when anyone is around
She knows,
All of her shortcomings, all of her flaws
She is a coward
Too afraid to show emotion, too afraid to do what she must
She could be great
If she would open, if she would stop the doubt
She could be great.

Timeless green told your age
Betrayed by the moss.
Winding, winding
Pattern abandoned
Sing along, my dear.

Swept and polished
Still I know
What lurks under the surface
Your ancient tale
Share with me, my love.

A girl with ringlets climbs your stairs
Trips upon the last
Sliding down, falling soft
What a leap
Catch me, if you can.

She is grabbed by a man
Taken from your sight
One last glance is all you have
You miss her so
Weep your sorrow, darling.

Less and less attempt to try
Greener and greener you grow
Memory is all that’s left
You shut your gate for good
Throw the key, throw it far love.

Burnt back
Swig down
Soar high.
Repeat.
Seek more
Think less
Swig down.
Stumble ,
Yearning,
Panic,
Bliss.
Thinking,
Feeling,
Touching,
Drinking.
Swig Down
Soar High.
S.t.o.p.

Who is this?
When did her reputation proceed her.
Why do I need to be her?
Confidence isn’t found in a drink
I know that so why do I keep finding mine at the bottom of the bottle?
Closed off, shy, not worthy.
I know that’s not who I am, at least when I am swigging.
I am loud, brilliant, ****.
Where is my middle?
Help me find it.
Or one day I will soar to where she can’t catch me.

Torrents of rushing crowds,
Blankets of noiseless sound
Hidden under the lush, lush breeze,
Riding the scent of fallen trees

Swarming round all of panic
Drowning out all of the pain
Hoping for recognition,
Knowing someone knows your name.

Sinking in cracks of the famous
Living in dust of the bold
Shadowing lights of the lime
Learning it’s never your time.

Etching your name in the skyline
Reaching but falling so short
Walking when you should be crawling
The ball never lands in your court.

Trying to follow the river
Straining to the see the bright star
Always living up, up in the coulds
But hidden under the cold cut shoulds

Never let your blue eyes show
Anything you see

Glossed and rimmed
Hidden eyes
Clear, blue, black
Pierced and power
Quiver, only at the lip
No one saw but me.

Written like a book
Read like a song
Easy on the ears
Nothing in the mind
Unable to realize when you hum along.

Assumptions, assumptions
Sting when delivered
But never taken to the heart
Stolen glance
Strong and steady
Shoot them down

Open your blue eyes.

I want to be talked to,
Held,
Caressed,
Cared for.
I feel like I don't deserve it,
I’m too
Selfish,
Awkward,
Distant.
I have a hard time connecting,
I feel
Judged,
Incompetent,
Inexperienced.
So I’ll just stopped trying.

I want all this creativity, culture, experience. I want all of it.
When do I find the time to sleep?
Cause when I do my dreams don’t come.
Why can I only dream when I am awake?
It scares me, what is wrong with me?
I fill my head with others images, desires, thoughts
Where am I
When I am not there?
Submersed, overridden, delayed
Too slow.
I know I have what I need to be great.
I know it is there.
But where am I?

Why do I
Constantly try to control this,
Hurt myself by looking
I am obsessed.
I don’t want you to tie me down any longer.
I don’t want your voice, your promises, your love,
All whispered in my ear before I go to sleep.
I know it’s not true, at least not anymore.
I’m kidding myself.
Smoke and mirrors.

For a moment I wanted to forget about you, forget about what I had to do, and forget who I was. I wanted to think, but not of you.
I do that too much.
I wanted to swim amid my thoughts, go back, move forward.  Say more, think less. Do more, think less. Feel more, touch more, care more. Think more.
I wanted to cut my hair short, be like some else so that I could feel like someone else. Some who wanted to talk all night, who wanted to be there every ******* second,
who wanted me as much as you wanted me.
I tried.
You only wanted me because you couldn’t have me. Then when you got me, you realized who I was. Who I wasn’t.
That I wasn’t. I’m not anyone. I’m not yours. I’m not mine. I’m no one.