Lights, Camera I'm almost ready,

to show this world what I can do.

Props set, music fills the stage,

Lights so bright I can't see straight.


Dark black liner covers up my eyes, and big pink blush spreads over my cheeks.

“You must appear attractive, You must be seen.” Said every actress that had a dream.  


Script after Script running through my head

One night, All I have. ***** it up and i'm Dead  


Take it in, a big deep breath,  

This is my chance, My time to shine!

To show them its bad to leave me behind!

I want it to last forever but it cannot stay. Fame sort of leaves you that way

Fame is a firework beautiful lights shimmers then drips down the sky.

For a few seconds this There is beauty in your mind.


I see myself in the mirror, All powdered and fresh

No one will ever see behind this mask.

I can't stand to look at you! You disgust me with all your mistakes!

But tonight isn't about you. You selfish witch!

Its about who I am portraying. The person I am playing.

For I am an actress an actress I am

I Become other people. Forget about my past

I am a new person, I am any person

Any person…


But me

I'm stuck
I've sunk
And can't move a thing
Im paralyzed
I'm frozen
In my own mind
I try to be calm
I try to stand up
But I sink right back down
I sit and let it come
Small little breaths I take
For the anxiety that still lies awake
I curl my fingers and try to grasp the floor
For I must not tell lies any more
Frozen i whisper
"But witch ones are the lies? "
Do I exaggerate or is it just full blown ties
I curl my knees and hold them to my chest
I bow my head
trying to be the smallest thing yet
I fall to my right
Stuck
Frozen
Paralyzed
In this moment I fell it there
The black hole that eats everything that it cares
Some days are big some days are small
This week it's been bigger then them all
It sits there inside of you
While it poisons you from the inside
The thoughts and fears all so strong
I can't stand up
*** I know I'll fall apart
I hear it tear and rip me to shreds
While my head plays a tape that never ever ends!
I just sit there
Let it eat me bite by bite
I can't get up today
It's too ******* bright
Then I see my whole day go by
My mom yells, my teachers get mad
I fill that hole more every day I sit here
Because I can't do it
I've lost hope
That I'll do anything good
I'll just waist away here for all my life
Then suddenly I'm out on the street in the same position I've always been
Same clothes
Same thing
I hear foot steps
Confident foot steps
High heel foot steps
Happy footsteps
I turn around
The footsteps stop
It's a women
In a pink dress
Put in heels
She looks important confident
Then I see her face
She is staring and me as I am to her
Oh my god I am her!
She looks like how I always wanted
We try to touch our hands but mine go through hers
She is the future I wanted but never got
Because I'm still being eaten by that stupid black hole!
She looks at my eyes
She sees pain and sorrow
And biggest of all regret
I look at her eyes
Those bags are gone
There was pride and success and confidence
She looks at me and sings
" I have seen the rain
I have felt the pain"
I sang "I don't know
where I'll be tomorrow"
We sang in harmony "I don't know where I'm going I don't even know where I've Ben
But I know I'd like to see em again"
We sang the whole song
And laughed till it hurt
She looks at me and says
"That hole down there
Is smaller then you think
If you just sing
It will go away, Shure
It will come back
But now you know
If it dose
You sing this song
Remember me
And everything will follow along."
I started to sing
"we have seen the rain together"
She joined "we survive the pain forever
Oh it's good to be home again
It's good to be with my friends!"
I open my eyes
Was that a dream?
I don't know and I don't care
I've seen my future and it's gonna be great
As long as I don't let my depression
Consume my life!
The last few words I got up
And went to start my day
"Oh it's good to be home again
It's good to feel that rain"

I Didint mean to do it!
What Have I done!
Ive corrupted people with my creation
I cant belive what ive done!

Its just some cardbord
A pipe cleaner and Half a paper towel roll!
Its not what its made out of its something more!

They all seem to be ****** into What ever this is
With boxes and bags and streamers they did.
Making them prettier and fancier with every chance they get
They tape anything they can
To trees
to friend drama
Just reporting it all!
Just watching cause happen
And making the call

They surround all the bully's and watch them get beat
No one steps in
There too buzy reporting
All they care is about the videos
Not about what's happening
Not about this evil that grows like fire

And I created it
I started it all
The world is forever doomed
This is the camera man
Sighning off for good

I wish I was evil
Just for a day
To scare people off
And make them go away

I wish I was evil
Just for an hour
I'd make people scream
And shout like a coward

I wish I was evil
Just for a minute
To do what I wanted
Without any limits!

I wish I was evil
With fire in my eyes
And a long wiggly tounge
And a snout for catching lies

I wish I was evil!
As evil as can be!
I'd catch every last soul
That was ever evil to me!

I'd sniff'em grab'em
And **** them for all the times
That someone droped a tear  
From a beautiful delicate eye  

I'd make them feel pure pain
And what it feels like
To look forward to the rain

To be so depressed you can't even breath
To wake up every morning saying
"It was just a dream"

To watch your life
get flushed down the toilet.
and your heart starts to sigh
With every given moment

Your head so confused
Your heart can't sing
So we just let music play
Untill we get our own set of wings

body too heavy
heart too hard
If someone made a crack
We would attack
And move on

I wish I was evil
I wish I couldn't feel
I wish I wasn't good
So I could watch you burn
On my firewood

I wish I was evil
Just for a day
I've had enough pain
I just wanna
make your day >:)

Momma you dont need this man!
Stop Bringing him around!
He only makes you sad
When he falls to the ground

Mamma you dont need this man!
Your all I need!
He is just gonna hurt you
And just smoke ****

Mamma listen to me!
Im telling you the truth!
Can you even her me?
Can you even hear you?

Momma look he is so sick
All he dose is drink
and make excuses
for the drugs that he did

Sometimes people are better
When they live alone
You dont need him!
I can take care of you on my own!

Mamma dont cry
Dont make a sound
You dont need this man
And Ill prove it
With my camera and surround sound

Cut out my eyes
So I can't see
The damage I've done
To you and me

Cut out my heart
So I can't feel
The pain full scars
I forget are real

Cut out my brain
Its for my own good
I won't repeat
The pain I have
It makes me weak

Cut out my face
My arms, my waist
Cutt off my hair
And just leave me in this place

I deserve to be broken
In two or three
Millions of blue
Little peices of me

Just leave me alone
Alone to bleed
And leave me with my voice
The only thing good about me

Ill sing the blues
Ill sing the truth
Leave me to sing
On my last truth

When all has failed
Nothing comes true
At least I can sing
I will sing the blues

I look in the mirror
What do I see?
Wrinkly woman
Staring strait back at me
Her eyes have bags
She hasent slept in weeks
Her hair all white
White as snow
Her eyes wide like a child's first hope
She looks at me
Puts her and on the mirror
"Dadda?" She asks
" no I'm not your father"
"Dadda?"
" I don't know where he is.."
"Dadda?!" She starts to freak out
" I'm not your father!"
"Dadda!!"
"I DONT KNOW WHERE HE IS! I DONT KNOW WHERE HE WENT! HE LEFT US OK! HE LEFT us.."
She turns her head and looks at me
"Why?" She asks
I tell her" I don't know!"
She points to the watch on her wrist
"He only gives you those so you can count down the minuts to see him! It's not worth it! Every year it's longer and longer, and soon he will walk right out of your life!"
"Dadda is suppost to come! I want to play!"
I look at her, reach out and touch her hair
"The only game our father plays is hide and go seek except we give up looking and waiting for him"
"But I've been waiting since I was three!"
" and now your eighty! Don't you see? Go get sleep or find some friends! You will find other love, it's just as good."
"Don't lie to me!" She demands in a deep voice. Her eyes full of hate!
"No don't do that! You don't deserve all that hate !"
" nothing is as good as a fathers love! Not a date, a true boyfriend NOTHING!"
"How do you know ? We have never had a fathers love!"
" but you see it around you. Then you give up and try boy love."
"Don't say that!"
"You know it's true the only reason you date boys is to find some love for you! You seek attention and kisses and hugs! So you feel someone truly cares and loves! Your pathetic trying to wait! Pretending to love him every holiday ! "
"SHUT UP SHUT UP!!" I say and punch the mirror
"Why don't you make me! You pathetic slime You can't enjoy Christmas *** he's gone mine !"
I stood up and stare her in the eyes. "No one owns me or tells me what to do!"
"Oh I'm so scared!"
"Yes yes you are ! Your scared of never being enough! Your scared that if your not pretty! You'll die and he won't give a ****! Your scared that you will loose him! Your scared no one will care! Well guess what buddyriend and family that care !"
"Why don't you sleep it off? And wait for him to care?"
"IM DONE SLEEPING AND WAITING FOR HIM !" I reach in and grab her by the throught. "AND IM DONE LISTENING TO YOU!"
I turn her neck till the mirror shatters
The glass breaks
my hand blead
I sit and cry like nothing mattered
I look at one of the pieces on the ground in front of me. It's a little girl only about age 3.
"Thank you" she says and curtsys and disinagrates away.
I sit and cry. Tears of joy
Nothing is more blissful then freedom
Even more then a boy.

There is something to be said
About the man that never sleeps
The woman who stays late at night
to make sure her family's alright  

There is something to be said
About the ones who are awake
Fall asleep to nightmares
And stay up way too late  

There is something to said
About the ones who never stop
Even though their backs
are full of giant rocks  

They carry those weights all through out town
And when they are done the feel worse then down
They wipe their eyes and start to dream
Of another, better scene

Time is not my friend
Never has been
Never will be

Time is a weight
That we as humans
are forced to carry

The clock gose around
And NEVER slows down
whether you in love
or sad and down
The clock will always go round.

Faster and faster the clock will turn
While you head spins
and you feet start to burn.

Constantly running from place to place
Time will never care
If you are late

Running Jumping Leaping
into fate
You start to wonder
When did I gain this weight?
When did my eyes start to wrinkle and fade?  
And when did this gray hair come into play?


Time is a curse
Time is a sighn
That death is upon us
We never escape our time
We wait for the right moment to say good bye
Not even realizing, we are past our time.

Time

Time is a jorney
To forgive and forget
To learn our mistakes
To see where others lead.

Time is a beat
That a melody plays
That makes us laugh
And dance in the rain.

Time is a miracle
That let’s us grow
Creates evolution
And things we still dont know!


Time is a curse
A sighn
A weight
You always run from place to place
And yet
Time is a gift
A blessing
A beat
Because we could never have life
If we didint have this need
To say good bye
To give a kiss
To never relax
To never have progress

Time make’s us see our right from wrong
You only have one life
Make it right before your gone!

Time is a friend
That calls you on your ****
And sometimes rewards you
For the right things you did.

Time is not my friend
Never has
Never will be

Lets just say that me and time.
Are just close frienimies.