I did it again,
letting myself fall in,
before learning how to swim,
learning by now should have come fast,
but looking at my track record of the past,
I failed,
Meeting you again after the years swam by,
it was a beautiful lie,
that I was hoping rang true,
after only talk for a few days of talking to you,
I watched the walls fall into my hearts blue,
why was it so easy?
to let them fall,
but your smile made my heart stall,
like a tripped up teenager again,
I wanted this to be real, this beautiful sin,
I could have been less cheesy for truth,
but it came naturally like kissing in a phone booth,
and it spilled out in ways I hate,
saying your beautiful too early instead of late,
this sick feeling for someone I hardly know,
guess its time to go,
and start placing the bricks,
so my hopeless romantic side doesn't show.

She said so go,
halfway through the show,
she was a nut but exciting all the same,
I ran like a scared kid running from the word no,
but I turned and asked to stay,
for this was always her play,
and I was just an extra,
but I couldn't and I came walking back fast,
I couldn't let our scene and sunrise fade into the past,
halfway mad,
halfway sad,
I asked her to stay,
with a smile and a tear in her eyes,
I held her hand,
at a Lake in Montauk we watched the skies,
our own doomsday sunrise.

I've idealized you,
Making something false true, Thrown into a stew, Of falsehoods that feel new, I would have given the moon, But now I must look at the reflection in the pool, And admit I was a fool, So off my chin I wipe away the drool, To forever love something ideal, So how will I know what I feel is real?

I see the grey over Reno, From my window on top of my mind, The greycast feels over this town, Like fingers of gold feeling a head, As the down is placed down, Its fall and winter intertwined, And its on everybody's mind, We all here for reasons we don't want to say, So we all stay, Looking at the lights, and the vacation, We look at them like a ****** looks at *******, Full of wonder and hope, Yet outside our grey place we wouldn't beable to cope, "its raining in Reno and it won't ever stop", Said the ***** to the cop, As the sun began to rise, A poet writes, A knowitall admits it lost it's love during the fall, A singer and business man on a teenager lookout fumble nervously with buttons and zippers, While a Cinderella wonders how hell find her without loosing her slipper, A lover looks at her lust through the oversized windows on the bus, An awkward kid stays awake, wondering if he could be smooth, A girl with beautiful eyes, walks down the street with headphones playing jazz, A honest man question his lies, And an old woman and a young actor are singing a tune long dead, But they can't get each other out their head, All looking at the grey, Almost to say, Its always going to be this way

There was only that, as my world faded, people and sound alike, all that's left is a smile and view, but in the days it felt new, now a memory like a star in night, it makes the darkness run in fright, in small pockets of my mind it shines bright, the music swaying up the seats and rows, a conversation that will never end slows, as my eyes can't shake, that smile you make, its been years and we've both grown, but on nights when I feel like the world wants me alone, I can still see the bay, and when you touched my hand and asked if I'll stay.

(I end this one similar to my previous which kinda annoys me, but ***** it, its my writing right?)

She said its fine,
And I smiled at the line, A dance with the past, That is going to last, I can feel it and crave it, But I'm terrible at the talking bit, Hopefully she can see past my awkwardness, And my inability to not stammer, Because in my head my heart starts to pound like a hammer, So I lock these in my souls slammer, Because I hear her laugh and smile, and take what I can for a sign, That its all going to be fine.

Hey kid,
I remember you from a year ago, Not knowing where you're going to go, Watching the snow, Drift down from the loading docks, And staring counting down time on clocks, Im telling you to not rush, but that's all you want to do, And its not till you are on the edge staring at the blue, Drinking way more than one or two, You almost will die more times than you'd like, And you have dreams every night aboot you're faceless wife. Don't worry kid, its the worst year of you life, But you make it through, Like a champion, you stand gallantly with armor made of everything that tried to **** you, You'll realize you're parents deserve better, Even though they will still say, "you're the best thing that has happened to me son." in their letters. You're friends are the strongest crop you know, And all you'll want to do is show, Everything that they did was not all for nigh, So hold your head up high, Hey kid, I remember you from a year ago, And I want you to know, Everything will be fine.