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 Sep 2013 the kid
Olivia Kent
Keys!
 Sep 2013 the kid
Olivia Kent
Keys

Sat in front of the keyboard.
End of another long and lonely day.
Not that this piano's grand.
Cannot play a note.
The world is out of tune.

Life's secrets are locked away.
In Pandora's box.
The key, it's rusty.
Jammed in the lock.
A relief it seems.
Be careful not to snap it.

Key winds the clock.
Tick Tock.
Without the key to wind it.
Maybe all life stops.
Need the clock.
Keep the beat of a lonely pulse.

Key is a clue in a mystery.
Query the keys.
Need to seek the answers.
Unlock a feisty mind.
This key winds a spring.
Spring will be sprung.

The heartbeat drum will find the rhythm.
Of the failing grand piano.
For the solo orchestra of one.
One minus another.
Clickety clack.
Back on my keyboard I tap!
By ladylivvi1

© 2013 ladylivvi1 (All rights reserved)
 Sep 2013 the kid
Astounding
In the shadows of the land
There's weathered faces lined with pain
Their eyes burn
They can see the darkness in your soul

Banished to a shadow prison
The needle skips and spins
Turn off the dark
Remove this bed of pins

The walls are not thick enough to hold
The weight of what they've heard
There's a blaze of light
In every word

They say you took the name in vain
Do you even care to know the name
Living in your head
Growing insane

Waking up in cold sweats
Heart cast in the sea
Cant they hear your call?
Why wont they set you free?

Stuck inside these walls
The clock is barely breathing
Face against the window
They all look as if they're seething

Suppressed by childhood fears
All that's under the skin
Wondering how you got these scars
The future is looking grim

The stars all seem to weep
Nothing but dim shades of grey and blue
Little do you know
This world was never meant for one as beautiful as you
 Sep 2013 the kid
yuki
A lover.
 Sep 2013 the kid
yuki
I am a lover.

A lover of the forest.
The calm and green trees
Hiding secrets under their leaves
You'll maybe never know.

I am a lover of the ocean.
The wild and blue waves
With white crowns of foam
Drifting slowly on the sand.


I am a lover of the fields.
The long and golden grains
With the  sun above
Setting, leaving red afterglow.


I am a lover of the meadows.
The soft and mossy soil.
With tiny flowers
Cradling their heads to the evening song of the insects.

I am a lover.
 Sep 2013 the kid
yuki
rain at night
 Sep 2013 the kid
yuki
When it's raining at night
I can't sleep.
Because everytime a raindrop hits my window
another thought comes to my mind.
And with every raindrop
your name resounds in my head.
I can't sleep at night.
 Sep 2013 the kid
raiindrops
Suicide
 Sep 2013 the kid
raiindrops
You can never understand, how much courage it takes for one to end their life;
The thought of putting everything to an end and not wanting to exist anymore.
And yet, some people say it's selfish of them to do and act that way.

What's saddening is the fact that one could feel so much pain in themselves,
That they see death as the only way out;
The fact that one would rather die than to be who they are.

Some people are able to try, and perhaps, see some light in their life
But for someone who attempted suicide, seeing it as the only way out,
It's as though their world is completely dark and they've lost all hope to live anymore.

Attempting suicide is the act of wanting to die.
And dying is the end of existence, an end, the point of no return.

What makes you think you have the right to criticize their act, and
What makes you think you are so sure that there is another way out,
When you aren't even sure who you are and how do you feel?

R
 Sep 2013 the kid
raiindrops
I'm sorry for being me
I'm sorry for having too many flaws
I'm sorry that I've pushed you away
I'm sorry I don't say much anymore
I just don't know what to do
I'm sorry I'm so hard to understand
Too complicated for anyone to stay
I guess that's why everyone ends up leaving me
Don't worry, I'd leave me too
I'm sorry that I don't have an explanation as to why I'm so sad
I don't know how to change that
I'm sorry I don't have motivation to save myself anymore
I'm giving up on me
Just like you did too
I'm sorry I'm constantly anxious and biting my nails
I'm sorry that when you speak I'm just silent and cold
I'm sorry that I'm down sometimes
I try not bother you with my problems
"I'll be okay I promise" I lie time and time again
You believe me and think I'm fine
But in reality
I'm never going to be okay and that really scares me
 Sep 2013 the kid
raiindrops
Full places
2. Having to answer the phone
3. When the teacher says "find a partner"
5. The deep, nervous and bad feeling in my throat when I'm outside
6. Ordering at restaurants
7. Not being able to smile back at people so I look down and smile at the ground like an idiot
8. Am I breathing too loudly?
9. When I feel confident about going somewhere, but the closer I get, the more nervous+sick I feel
10. Trying to talk to someone in a group of people, but I don't because I'm afraid I will look ridiculous
12. When someone doesn't text back. So up convince myself that they don't like me
13. Not being able to eat in front of anyone
14. When I'm going to bed+all of a sudden my mind filled with thoughts of things that could go wrong the next day
15. Walking with my eyes fixed on the floor so I avoid eye contact with other people
16. The never ending fear that the teacher will force me to speak or do something in front of the whole class
17. Not reading loud in class because everyone stares and hears how nervous am I
18. Hearing people laugh behind me so I'm assuming its at me
19. Waiting rooms
20. When the teacher calls on me go answer something during class
21. When I can't walk in the hallways at school because I feel like everyone is judging me
22. When the teacher says "if you don't start raising your hands, I'm going to have to call on random people
24. Having great conversations with someone over text,but being afraid to hang out with them because I think they won't like me in person
25. Attempting to say "hello" back when someone suddenly greets me and end up just looking to the person without the ability to talk
26. Constantly feeling like I'm going to throw up
27. Playing out conversations in my head before meeting people
28. Leaving the house
29. Eye contact
30. Walking on my own and feeling like everyone is watching me
31. Not knowing what to do with my hands when I talk to people
32. When the teacher is taking the register in alphabetical order and I know my name is coming up
33. Thinking everyone in the room is talking about me
34. Holding in coughs in class so I don't draw attention to myself
35. Checking my phone because I don't know what to do with my hands
36. Knowing the answer to the teachers question but being terrified to raise my hand and draw attention to myself
37. Constantly feeling like the pressure is on me to start conversations
38. Feeling like everything is my fault
39. Being scared of not being able to get out of a room full of people
40. Being scared of sitting next to a stranger
41. Being afraid of seeing someone I know
42. Getting anxiety during lunch, so I feel sick and I don't eat, which makes me more anxious cause people will judge me for not eating
43. Being scared to go anywhere in case I have a panic attack
44. Not eating in school
45. Entering class late
46. Avoiding crowded events
47. May having a panic attack in school
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