Love is knowing that you need him. And being okay with it.
Love is knowing that when you get to this low, you can get out of it for him.
Love is really understanding that it's okay to be scared or afraid or terrified or broken or ugly or fat or mistreated or scarred
Because love sees all of it and smiles and says
"There goes my baby."
Love is looking for him, and seeing him, and smiling because you can.
Love is making excuses to touch him.
Love is really biting and scratching and clawing and punching and pinching and yelling and swearing and screaming
Because in the end, who the hell else is going to listen to you?

One step.
One brick.
Two steps.
Two bricks.
He smiles.
One wall.
One step.
One more wall.
He says hello.
Another wall.
You talk.
The walls have gone now, you see.
Raw, naked, vulnerable,
Open.
Exposed.
Turn around.
Build new bricks.
Walk away.
Build more walls.
Step outside.
Catch your breath.
It’s over now, love,
Your walls are fine, now, love.
You are who you want to be now, love.
*He’s gone now, love.

Someone asked me what the marks where,
I said they were flowers.
They did not understand.
I explained to them,
They are flowers that started as seeds.
I planted those seeds in me,
They blossomed,
It hurt me.
But now they are beautiful.
My flowers have saved me, you know.
My scars are flowers.

He is tall.
So tall.
Too tall.
So tall that I have to look up to meet his eyes,
but it’s worth it.
Because his eyes are black.
Humorous.
Sparkling.
Sarcastic.
Smirking.
And his mouth is high up.
But it’s worth it.
Because his mouth is perfect.
Smirking at me, he knows what I’m thinking.
****** *****.
He’s too tall.

You entrance me.
I don't mean the hypnotic creepy kind...
I mean, you totally entrance me.
You catch my eye from a mile away,
I follow you with my eyes and mouth and heart and nose and ears
because you entrance me.
I cannot be close to you
Because it hurts
I cannot have you
Because I can't
I have 45,389,700 words that I want to say to you, 3 of them being
You entrance me.
But I can't, because you are you and I am I and even though
You entrance me, and I lust for you, and I long for you,
And I imagine you before I sleep next to me whispering
That I entrance you,
There are some words you can't say.