there are three mountains
built before me.
one of stress,
one of decisions,
and one of realizations.

i’ve yet to face all of them.
the summit seems
invisible
from the base of the mountain.

this would be so much easier
if these were real mountains
instead of ones in my mind

awhile ago i warned
about using words,
they have power.

i didn’t realize that
words spread like wildfire.

i accidentally destroyed
instead of creating-
and i ruined a reputation...

and this is me admitting that
and wishing i could change it.

it’s been a long time
since my words have
been seen on this screen.

i’m single,
i’m working a new job,
i’m getting help,
i’m a bit better than i was.
things are still really hard,
but it’s getting a little easier.

what made you think
it was okay to hurt me?
to break me?
to cheat on me and then
not tell me for 6 months?
was everything a lie?
did you ever really love me?

i just wanted to say:
thank you for breaking me,
breaking my heart,
instilling trust issues.
i don’t want to fall in love
ever again.
especially since you said,
“i hope this doesn’t hurt
your trust, or taint your view
of love.”
maybe you should’ve
thought about that
before
you broke me.
again.

and i let you.
i was stupid enough
to let you break me
over
and over
and over
and over
and over
again.

just please never say
to anyone,
“if i could do it over,
i wouldn’t’ve dated you.”

if i love you
i love you through everything.
the good and bad times,
the easy and hard days,
i won’t leave.

but if you stop loving me,
i’ll still be there.
i won’t leave.
even if I should.

but remember that
you can’t make me stay.
i choose to stay.

it turns out the fire
we walked through
together
was just
you
burning
me