you see
as much as i see
that we cannot

yet we both know
which goes to show
how good we get

each other

you make this hard
for it to be easy

just to reach out and
hold your hand
with my small hand

because even doing
that
folds my heart, cornered

Coastlines create beautiful circles
and I wade between them
But I wish to stand at the edge of the earth

and scream over to the sun, now
brushing the blue desert
at dusk

                             "Where do I go from here?"

and she just replies as she always has

with a rising moon.

        beams scattered
        on my sandy, small toes

I had a red dirt romance
in those hills along the river
        - hills that hoist you to the sky
          and the mud challenges the sun's dark burn -

it was in those trees, I grew up like one.

planted deep, but reaching for new water
clouds, smoke, and hawks brush branches, but stay
firm against snow fall and bark beetles

I have been lifted by the bones that carry me,
skins that hold me,
waters which have cleaned me

I will leave this place soon,
and I will always love those trees
on the hills
by the river

I am parched dry
like the Nevada desert
east of home,

thirsty for reassurance.
My roots are deep in snow caps

but, from my perch, all I see
is somewhere distant
and drier

you see
as much as i see
that we cannot

yet we both know
which goes to show
how good we get

each other

you make this hard
for it to be easy

just to reach out and
hold your hand
with my small hand

because even doing
that
folds my heart
corner

i do not choose wisely
and i do not release
rarely

tearing up
the roots that once held me
stuck to the surface
of the earth

is easier at night
when no one can see

spread-eagled on cold hallways.
wandering the house,
almost tripping on the stairs
before realizing

i was bleeding from the fingernails
i pried at for too long

when feelings and thoughts become one
and tell me I'm wrong
again
and again
I want to believe
against obsession
that I didn’t this time
and I won’t the next.

i keep searching the skies for
my rocket ship
take me to the quiet space
where I can remember how
small I want to be


when feelings and thoughts become one
and tell me I'm wrong
again
and again
I want to believe
against obsession
that I didn’t this time
and I won’t the next.