As it approaches 10 PM
I put the world on hold
I log out of everything
Switch on a song where
They warble and talk about
Love and it's frailty
I reach over to my mobile
Select 'Switch Off' from
The various options
Lights seem too harsh now
Something in my heart squeezes
My stomach tingles
Briefly I wonder why I feel this pain
Today was a perfectly alright day

As I open a window and start typing
Trying to vent this clenching
This horrific, cancerous pain
Hoping that it'll be enough for me to
Hold on for another night
Enough to keep the nightmares away
Just for one more night
Now my very body protests
Against the thought of school tomorrow
It'd like one day, a whole day
Spent sleeping on it's back, looking up
Up and away, where the clouds are,
The setting sun and the stars now
The moon shining bright
Nothing but a cool breeze and a hammock
That nestles me for one whole day
No calls, no noise
Simply, the sound of silence
Whispering in my ears

My back is laced with scars
Given to me as a parting gift,
As a symbol of the love-that-never-was
Some have already been fully absorbed
Just their tips sticking out,
Forming a grotesque picture
Others, still fresh, still being taken in
Just their tips are slightly embedded

Another one would hardly make a difference
Might wring a cry of pain but nothing much afterwards
-
The glint of the tear as it slides down,
silently,
heedlessly,
into the black abyss,
threatening, wanting,
desperation lacing it's movements,

-

There's a silent 'plop!' sound as it touches
The floor so far below.
So far, so far that no one can see it.
So deep, so deep that no one can hear it

She hardly notices the spare, the extra
There have been too many for her to care
For one more.

A dozen more land in her back,
Angered by her impassiveness

She swivels around because she's still savouring
The ones that are there

For a minute, time stops, the blades stop
The girl's heart, or where it should've been...
That empty little space, occupied by three long
Swords stuck in it's place
They pierce right through her body,
So different from those knives that decorate her back.

Their tips face your eyes
The sword entered her through her back

It would've been a tragedy if only her eyes...
Oh, if only her eyes were something more
Than just endless holes
( - deeper, darker, blacker
more despairing than
the black abyss under her

very feet

-    )

Paint me in any colour you want,
you wish for
Draw any outline you visualize.
This will fade,
Falling victim to the seasons.
A masterpiece
Within itself,
the intricacy of the strokes
Shall be hidden by
the next masterpiece
That will take its place.

The unsung, the
Unheard
are the ones who draw this,
day
And night.
Going unnoticed,
no one stops to
Consider the combinations,
the contrasts,
Its various interpretations,
almost like
Those of a Rubik's Cube.

Layer,
upon caked layer,
depicts violence,
Craves freedom,
breathes anonymity and
Displays inspiration.

The moon shines down below
On us pathetic mortals
With nothing but malice to our name
And myths of love to counter those.
Love and hate aren't opposites
For they both display passion
Ground-breaking passion
But indifference. Indifference
Is where true evil lies
Then again, evil is but the absence of good
So let us rephrase,  
Indifference is like smoke to us humans
Flighty at best, comes and disappears.
Something we desperately try to hang on to
But it always slips away
Leaving nothing but a slight smell
As a reminder of the numbness
That was indifference.
In comparison to this,
Passion is like the tree
Which has deep roots
And has seen many a tale occur
If you try and remove it,
It will leave a crater, where it stood.
Lives that nested in it will be lost.
Left to fend for themselves,
Most will not survive the felling.
The ones that do, will flee
To something similar.
When these don't remain,
The earth will be in ashes.

Looking for an out
And escape,
How far are you willing to go?
Till Death you say,
That's a long way,
I say.

"Two roads diverged in a yellow wood one day..."

Which road to choose now we've come this far
dagger held to throat, blade over artery
How far indeed.
Would it be weakness to withdraw
Would it be attention-seeking to continue
Oh, some respite from this self-loathing
I changed, and you don't even know me.
I don't know me.
A day, an hour, a minute, a moment, a second
They become smaller, smaller, smaller.
The pain gets magnified
I feel it in my bones
Death doesn't lie far
- Whether spiritual, physical
Or finally, mental, still remains to be seen
I wish I'd foreseen this


We wish a number of things
Unusual things, each as pure as black.
We wish we had a place, a position to
Change the world to our liking
Let's admit it - it would never suit everyone
Machinery, we are. Machinery, we will remain.
A few draw closer to escape
Oh sweet, merciful, hellish escape  


"And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth"

Images float in-front of your eyes.
Your hair flies in the wind, almost wild.
You struggle with your skirt a little bit,
Feeling glad that you wore shorts underneath.
The wind can be heard even over the
Honking of the cars, as it carries some
Stray, withered leaves.
The sky has darkened and you can smell the
Freshness of grass over the smoke and
Stink of ******* dumps in the open.
The crows start flapping around in
Choreographed committee and start cawing
About the latest weather changes.
It somehow doesn't surprise me that this
Reminds you of countless others you
Might know.
The crows ruffle their feathers and
Take shelter in predefined places.
It is another rainy day amongst
Billions of others that have occurred.
To state the obvious, you have too
Much time in your hands if you begin
Describing another rainy day.

I wait for you to come closer,
To draw closer and tell me
That you can't deal with me
Any more. Not with my
Insane, bordering on
Psychotic, behavior, and
My bipolar mood swings.
But, you draw closer
And you smile right at me,
And draw me into a hug
For a second, that little voice,
Which I am always aware of,
Which tells me I'm never
Going to be good enough
For anyone to accept or like,
Let alone love,
Fades to the back of my mind.
I let myself relax
Into your warm embrace and
I let myself be and believe.
I turn to smile at you...
Before I can see your face,
Your features, I am woken up
From my daydream
By the bell signalling the
End of school. I pack my bag
And head towards my carpool,
My movements sluggish-
Even cheerily wave goodbye to
A few stragglers.
I reach home and eat lunch alone.  
I go for tuition, let myself
Become numb to everything
But learning and understanding.
It becomes darker and it's almost 8,
I come back home again.
I had been out from 7 in the morning.
This time, my family's there and
We eat dinner together, though,
I am barely there with them.
They're discussing important
Things like business and will
Talk to me later.  I finish eating
And go sleep. Tomorrow's going to
Be the exact robotic same.