When the trials of your mind reach a darker kind
and your soul is exhausted
When you feet fill with lead
And you can't get out of bed
When the things you did best
Matter less than the rest
And you can't do anything right
The Lord will renew your spirit and enlighten your eyes
He will lighten your burdens and loosen your ties

Thank you God!
Thanks for Jesus!
thanks for the earth
You put beneath us!

Thanks for the sun!
And thanks for the stars!
Thanks for your plan
And just who you are!

Please help the sick
The hurt and the weary
Please dry the eyes of those who are teary

Please keep us safe
Inside of your hands
Please make us strong
And help us to stand

Amen

I hope you trust
I hope you love
I hope you accept
The gift from above

I hope you believe
I hope you rejoice
I hope that you make
The very best choice

I hope you care
I hope you pray
I hope you thank Him
Every day

I hope you are strong
I hope you are pure
I hope you have patience
I hope you are cured

You say it's all darkness
It's all anger
all hate
You say it's so loud
you can't concentrate

So did you forget
All the good
the laughs
smiles
And fun

What about me
Do you care at all
How could you quit this
You're too strong to fall

Just remember the blessing that surrounds your soul
See the Lord has given you
what cannot be stolen

You are my hope
When I wanna give up
You are my strength
When times get rough
You are my guide
When I am lost
You are my light
At times of dusk
You help me see
When I am blind
You build me up
When words are unkind
You give me sleep
When I need rest
You guide me when
I'm taking a test
You hug me tight
When I am lonely

I was lost
I felt scared
Seemed like no one else cared

In my own skin
I felt ugly
Hated every part of me

Fed deceiving lies
Thirsting for perfection
Tried to fix my body
Ended in destruction

Feeling lonely
When I was among friends
Always tired
But I slept so much

A vicious cycle
A downward spiral
I needed to get out!

Oh Lord you saved me
I was ready to give up
I Turned away
For so long

I came back
But you were there all along
My mistakes
Your saving grace
You are my new hiding place

Don't you dare do this to me
just when I started to break free
To think that it is no big deal
I'll tell you what, this just got real

Stumble, Fumble
               My stomach grumbles
Fleas, Trees
               I'm weak in the knees
Cough, Scoff
               My clothes falling off
Try, Cry
               I'm starting to die
Let, Regret
               It's as real as it gets
Pry, Thighs
               I was full of lies
This, Kiss
                A new life's what I wish
Whole, Goal
                But I'm out of control
Fly, Sigh
                *This is my good-bye

Laugh at me and I'll laugh with you
One day it will be just us two
You tell me tales and make me smile
I've fell so far in a short while
Your words so soft and pure like snow
I dread the moment that you go
Love me now with all your might
Wrap you arms around me tight
Kiss
            Me
                      *Goodnight

Peter take my hand
and teach me how to soar
Take me to the place
where time will pass no more
We'll talk and dance
like little kids
Explore the feelings
you once hid
We'll journey with
the lost boys
And poke fun
at captain hook
All we need is
freindship and fairy dust
Like a story from the book
Peter do you miss the old life?
Do you want your fairytale?
Torn between reality
and surreal fantasy
Peter don't you see?
your world does not exist
I have to grow up now
forever you I'll miss

When it's cold and dark
your embrace lights a spark
inside my soul
and warms me up

When I've lost all hope
and don't know how to cope
It's your arms
that hold me together

Why don't you date?
  a question I hate
Why can't you see
it's not right for me?
My heart is too young
  yet already been broken
I hang on to every
word you have spoken
But I'll fall so fast,
hit ground so hard

The shatter of a million
pieces of my heart

I don't understand
She's always so happy
and so nice
A beautiful person
but what's on the inside?
what is the darkness
that makes her stop eating?
what does she see
when it's not her reflection?
why does she feel
like she's not good enough?
I've always liked her
Admired her personality
But now I don't see her
She's not on the bus
Not at school
She's in a white bed
in the hospital
Hating herself
Not eating
Not sleeping
Not talking

A friend who's at
the hospital
she stopped eating
A friend always tired
she stopped sleeping
A friend feeling troubled
she cuts herself

But in each of these friends
and through helping them
I've found the truths about myself
and I start to understand why
we hide things

A friend dealing with loss
she doesn't know God's peace
A friend who doubts
the Lord's love
she's loosing hope
A friend we all
ask for advice
She doesn't know how to cope

Straight lines in broken times
Dark tears on sunny days
Talk to me we'll cry together
Our hearts are filled with stormy weather

I'm giving up sleep
my thoughts are too deep
Can barely last the day
don't let me sl
                              i    p
                                         a
                                               w       a
                                                                 y

It scares me
the thought of a boy
like you
and a girl
like me
I'm scared
I don't want anyone to love me
I get uncomfortable
because my thoughts are
just daydreams
but with you it
could be real
Maybe that's why we always
pick the wrong ones
     stupid girls
we're just afraid of true love
why?
I couldn't tell you
I feel it
but I don't know what it is
Everytime we talk
I'm waiting for something
to go wrong
but you're just so wonderful
It scares me
but at the same time
I think
          *this could be love

In a beautiful garden
sits a pretty flower
surrounded by plant life
it's filled with music
it dances and grows
as chlorophyll flows

But a vandal comes
and digs up theflower
grabs it carelessly
ripping out good roots
soon the flower
lies alone on the street
the music, the life
everything, everyone
is gone

The flower is left alone with itself
the flower hates itself
it's ugly, its wrong, its
just not perfect
and noone tells it otherwise
there is noone else
as it fills with black hate
it ripps off its petals
and plucks out it's seeds
it starts to die
it does not look like it will last til dawn

But it does
and as soon as sunrise
a wise old woman
out for her walk
stumbles upon this
pile of sadness
she gently lifts up the flower
being careful not to rip the leaves
or break the stem
she cradles it in her wrinkly arms
and takes it to her house

she waters it
and watches it
and everday she sings to the flower
day by day she always persists
and sure enough, that flower
grows new petals
and strengthens it's stem
life flowing though it
so lyrical now
it recognises the beauty
that has always been there
One day, the woman
returns the flower to the garden
and the flower dances and sings
and worries no more
because it feels beautiful
on its own
and doesnt need the other flowers
*she sings for herself

I am a poet and this world will never know it

Lazy bones
Sore throat
Sleepy spirit
Rough skin
Weak ankles
Daisy thoughts
Dusty mind
Full of longing
Wasting time
Distressed stomach
Deep wrinkles

Hungry is my soul
For Your Love oh God

Canvas shoes
Highschool blues
Straight hair
but nobody cares
Slim waist
I hate the taste
Sweet talk
Ticking clock
Young love
Fake hugs
Bright blue eyes
Pitch black lies
White keypad
I'm going mad!

You left, I cried,
You lived, I died
You stood I fell
Your heaven, my hell
Your smile, my tears

Pyjamas and peach tea
Warm, comfy, safe, free
Love songs and pumpkin pie
Happy, lovely, lyrical
Warm bath and smooth skin
Relax, Soothe, renew within
Bible and sunrise
Holy, guide, new, light

And these are the flavours of my live

The house is black
I walk to bathroom
And leave the light off
All is dark
Suddenly, silently my
mind awakens and
I see a little girl
staring back at me
A girl with a pure heart
A girl with innocent eyes
I turn the light on
but all I see is me
Not then, but now
Not smile, but frown
Me in my world thats
turned upside down
I long for that girl
That reflection in my mind
I long to be a girl
of a different kind
My soul is dull
My chains are tight
Restore your Love
in me tonight
Take me back to
four years old
The girl who was
loving, brave and bold
The girl whose eyes
does beauty behold
A simple girl.
On fire for you
Make me whole again
Like you do

The songs of my heart
The words of my soul
Inside of me is
A whole other world

One page of a novel
A second of a movie
I tell you so little
You don't really know me

You could walk in my shoes
And see through my eyes
but still you could not feel
The things I feel inside

It cut deep
deeper
darker
Deeper than the blackest, greenest trenches of the Atlantic

Your knife was sharp
sharper
colder
sharper
Sharper than the words off of the tongue of the Evil One

I fell hard
harder
weaker
harder
Harder than a wineglass full of rocks, hitting the hardwood floor

You ripped me apart
tore me in two
How can I ever forgive you?

Grey heart
Weak knees
Can't focus
Can't sleep
Your heart's been stretched out and cracked
blood seeping out
Bruised soul
Bitter words
Sour people
Treating you in such a way
It stings inside
Winter lungs
Soggy cheeks
Heavy bones
Where did that happy girl go?
Lost in a maze
Caught in a daze
Foggy eyes
Paper throat
I can see all of this
Deep secrets
Green suspicion
I just want to help
Questions
Doubts
But, Yes
                 I
                    Care.....

I am weak
like a straw
                                              You are strong
                                              made of stone
I have a foolish mind      
                                             Your knowledge is infinite
My thoughts come and go
Like birds in November
                                            You know them all
I'm a vile creature
seeking temporary fun
                                           You are God
                                            Not a wrong thing you have done
I am lost at sea
                                          Your hand reaches out and
                                         *rescues me

It's a funny thing
because I'd love to
write
now
about what God showed me today
But
What I experienced today
makes my words seem
so limited
they cannot grasp
what I need to say
they cannot describe something of such a Higher power
that I experience
Maybe one day
you can know what left me, woman of many words
so utterly speechless
and on my knees

I like to dance and sing and fly
I marvel at how time goes by
The beauty is surrounding us
The wind is so lyrical
leaves crunch
Tea tastes like nature's beauty on your tongue
relax
inhale
the air is stale
carry on
march strong
the world won't be here for long

A cloud in my brain
a rock in my stomach
aching bones
hot eyes
wet cheeks
lungs frozen
*.......I smile like I'm alright

I'm cursed with all these words
They're stuck inside my head
I need to get them out
So that I can go to bed
Why is it that things are like this now
When only last year I didn't know how
To let go of things to think things out
To figure out what I was about
It's nice to be able to express myself
I've found a rhythm to good mental health
I no longer need to hide my feelings so deep inside my heart
My life has become stable not falling apart
Thank God for showing me paper and pen
I can figure out life who why what where and when
Amen!

Oh little one
How you close your eyes
You sleep so sound

Not bothered
By outside noise
You can rest

You worry not
Of foolish things, like me
Your heart has peace

Sleep, Sleep
Oh how I wish to be like you
Little one

I was lost
I felt scared
Seemed liked no one else cared

In my own skin
I felt ugly
Hated every part of me

Fed deceiving lies
Thirsting for perfection
Tried to fix my body
Ended in destruction

Lonely in a
D
  o
    w
      n
        w
           a
              r
                d
                      s p i r a l

Needed to be saved

You are my hope
When I want to give up
You are my strength
When times get rough
You are my guide
When I am lost
You are my guide
When I am lost
You are my light
At times of dusk
You help me see
When I am blind
You build me up
And fix my mind
You give me sleep
When I need rest
You are with me
through every test
You hug me tight
I say goodnight

You are the reason
I get up in the morning
Your spirit fills me
And I know what I
Must do
I must be more like you

I saw you tonight
And it's been awhile
It's nice to see you
And that beautiful smile
You light up the room
And smile straight at me
I wonder if you know
What you do to me
Just sitting beside you
Makes me believe
The world isn't as bad
When you're here with me

She's just a girl in this big old world
Working hard and getting by
She's got so much going on with her
She doesn't have much time for guys
You like her. She doesn't even notice
You hang out. She thinks you're just a friend.

What can a nice guy do
To get a chance with you?

He holds open doors
He'll always lend a hand
You can have his seat on the bus
He'll stand
If there's ever a problem
He can give advice

He'll never be the one to make you cry
His company always helps to get you by
Can you even remember when he wasn't by your side?

And all of these things he'll do
Will he ever get a chance with you?

This is a shout out to the nice guys
The best guy friend who's always been there
This is a shout out to the nice guys
someday I hope you get a chance

She's always falling for the wrong ones
They break her heart in two
You know shed be treated like a queen
If she was ever with you

When you tell her she's beautiful
That she deserves so more
Shes smiles right through those tears
Maybe one day she'll admit that
Its been you all these years

This is a shout out to the nice guys
The best guy friend that's always been there
This is a shout out too the nice guys
Just wait you'll get your chance!

Long ago I was fun I was happy I was alright
Things were going good the sun was shining so bright
But now I sit and wonder how I've come to this
Felling sick inside and caught in deep sadness
I used to smile and I didn't have to fake
Now I'm tired and I think I need a break
What has happened that made me come to this

Her we are tonight
The moon is shining bright
My worries out of sight
You're holding me so tight

As summer turns to end
This place has been our friend
  It has a scene to lend
And love's around the bend

Your fingers through my hair
The secrets that we share
A sweet kiss if you dare
I love how much you care

As moon on water glistens
We sit here and just listen
The earth will sing her song
And we will join along
And sing it
*Love love a gift from above
Earth earth oh what are you worth
Without love love love

Another ordinary day
Or so seems from the
Outside I portray
I'm so content on the outside
While my whole inside is
Dark and grey
My enemies reflect magnify
And measure my flaws
My friends are hurting from the pain that cancers cause
It's not just one
It's so many building up
It's time to fix all this
I've had enough

I try to take matters
Into my own hands
Refuse to listen to
Gods perfect plan
I try to perfect my self
Craving for escape
And when I cave in
It's not even worth the taste
The numbers don't match up
And this is getting tough
It's all these things inside me
All bottling up
I've got to fix this all
It's getting so rough

I peer into the eyes of uncertainty loss an hurt
I try to stay open
when others slam you out
I can see what your going through
I know what hurt is all about
I want to show who
Is helping me
But when I'm falling fast
What example can I be
Fix this please!

No one getting any sleep
Im losing fire inside of me
I need some oxygen
I need to breathe

You're losing hope again
The smiles are just pretend
You need a rescuer
You need to be set free

I'm stuck
Jammed tight between two things
They are heavy
They push on my from both sides
In between them
I think that I'm alone
But its so loud
Not sure how I got here
I need get out of this now
I look to you
You have a better view
You can find me a way out
Quick before this crushes me
I must stand tall
Be strong
My God is with me forever
Nothing can brake me
I will prevail
I have faith
I trust you
Help me to obey
To do things right
And maybe this will not happen again