Sitting
Thinking
My heart is sinking
Tracing fatal lines across my mind map
And I'm hitting a lot of potholes
because no one ever tends to these rough roads

When I'm feeling frail
Or even full of anger
The pen meets paper

Even if its a few words
Or just a measly scribble
It makes all the difference

Maybe it's the quiet
The solidarity
A time to reflect

Could it be the escape
Into my dreams
And creations

Or is it simply
The smell of the ink in this cheap pen
That feels like home

I am like a tree filled with termites
Everything looks fine on the surface
Until one day I come crashing down

My angry fist grips tightly
around a chunk of hair that I'll try and rip out
But these thoughts cant be ripped out as easily as my hair leaves the folical void.

The sun breaks through glass and into this empty house
Rainbows are dancing on my cold lonely skin
The perfect song plays

For a moment I wish
The world melts away
All these problems quiet down
My mind is still as water

A teardrop breaks the silence
I flood this house until it is full again

Now, I am empty

Brick by brick
I've built my castle
These stones as cold
as my poor heart

These walls as tall
as my hopes once were
Now they dwell
deep in the trenches

On scarce occasions
when trespassers roam
The gates are locked
and I'm safe (and lonely) inside

I'm hurting, Lord Jesus
   But you bled more than I can know
I'm foolish, Lord Jesus
   But you payed for my mistakes
I'm angry, Lord Jesus
    But you are the King of Love
I'm restless, Lord Jesus
    *You give my soul rest