sit next to me
in silence,
we shall converse
with our thoughts.

the angels are the lilies
the ponds are the clouds
the fairies are flying like the pixies
the butterflies are the reeds
the breezes are the glades
the cicadas are the shore

the loquacity
you showcased
of my private
most intimate thoughts
unresolved,
it hurt me and my public
image.

in a relationship, whether it a
past or current one,
regardless of anything else,
you should always
be done right by
your partner.
to be protected from extraneous
forces.

i was the happy little boy
the one that smiled over his frowns,
just to show his face,
swore it'd light up a whole town.
knew it'd light up his favorite face.
but after under every smile , was
transient at best: anguish at worst
and when the world started to dull,
he didn't know that feeling was him slowly dying alongside you.

if I'm sorry
let's be sorry
together.
a weak embrace
is as
strong as
we hold it.

so hold tight,
we still have
the heavens to
soar in.

its quite time to
rid myself of others egos
the mesh of it, like a marketplace.
A case of copycat conundrums.
of little offense,
we are all trying our best.

i will love myself
as this person beneath
, as i know myself to have done
to each and every other person,
ive only ever really just seen,
but finally i will do it to me.

not the construction of me
you see.
but the one i know myself to be.
the human we all find ourselves to see.

Tell no one,
the words you heard.
To protect,
someone who skewers your soul.
why,
bite the hand that feeds you?

eyes.
a key to your soul.
i can see them;
when not even looking.

where you filled
the silence of my
heart with your malice
and false benediction,
i hope another
fills it back with
kindness and
the enablement of
my tears.

i pray you get a taste
of your own venom,
choking on your own
words,
only so you can
learn your own lesson.

let it be true
that when
i am close to you
i'll look into your
eyes
and place your hand
upon my
steady flourishing
heart.

I'd say you believe you are innocent
but no one stays that way forever.

I'd say you've changed for the worse
but you've only shown me the monster.

I'd say I have been in a bad spot
but you would have heard wrong.

I'd say you treated me like some horrid business
but you believed you knew me enough to treat me well.

I'd say your words actually meant
something
but you gave that up awhile ago.

I'd say that there's not that feeling I knew deep in the past
but I'd be lying.

I'd say all these things
but you'd have to
leave all your prior convictions
behind;
everything you've grown
to know.

I couldnt ask you to do that for me,
I couldn't ask that of you.

I couldn't ask that of you,
but maybe you will ask that of yourself.

my entire life would feel complete
if you did nothing but embrace me.
i thought there a life we were to know eachother.

my tears of millenia

would release. all my tension, depression, dark thoughts

would be nothing to your starry glory.
i hope to reflect that same warmth
in any dreary snow-storm.
your cloudy wear.

i love the person you are
more than i have ever
loved another.
i see you in the puddles or
a flower, or a rainbow.

a kiss would **** me
and i could be born anew.

you are the sun
and i am but the sprout that grew.

If the walls could talk,
they would say beguiling things.

Echo's of machinations,
in sounds of silence.

All the beautiful nights lost to the dark sky that play like projectors on the framework of ***** volitude.

Let go of your mind's constraints
and seize the day with fortitude.

all the concious good
limited, entirely,
by subconcious bad.
/                                     /
all the concious bad
enlightens, with a good heart,
one's subconcious good.
/                                     /
holding burning leaf
in horrowful vast stillness
minding peaceful breeze

i can't deal in justice.
  from what the world has told me
since young,
    i deserve to lose everything.
so tell me again, about pride.

judge all you want.

I KNOW WHAT GOOD LOVE IS
SINCE I WAS BORN
I KNEW

I WILL LOSE ALL THERE IS
THAT IS NOT IT
IN PURSUIT OF IT

THIS LOVE WILL NEVER DIE
AND IF YOU ARE NOT WITH IT
UNDERSTAND THAT IT IS STILL WITH
AND WITHIN YOU.

  IGNORANCE
DOES NOT STOP
A KIND HEART
IN SEARCH OF
HIGHER INNER
   STRENGTH.

              IT FEEDS THE
            MIND THROUGH
            SOULFUL BLUES,
            OR DEMANDING
             HEARTY REDS.
                                            WHY ELSE
                                        WOULD WE BE
                                           IMPERFECT
                                           ENOUGH TO
                                      SEEK HEAVENLY
                                        PERFECTIONS?

a lonesome lover
conjures they
who filled
the heart
with warmth.

I've been in a series of doubt and belief.
I hear so many different things
but they're spoken on low volume, I couldn't be away from them if I tried, and I tried. I'll never be alone.
Conjecture and logic with a little sprinkle of hope and conviction,
I'd like to think I know anything about you.
You're a figment of my mind, a touch of my spirit, I sense you through grapevines and dreams.
I conversate with walls and windows and I wonder if it's truely you, if you're truely there.
He says that you are, and I trust that, even if it may be lies.
It's all for a purpose.
It has praise and it has shame,
sometimes it hurts to have a little faith.

I don't want to be sad
I don't want to be angry
I want to be happy
I want to get lost in it
Forever moving, forever creating
I'm too still for my own good
I want to fly, not be grounded,
but my dreams only tend to hurt others
they say it seems impossible
or improbable and too doomed to fail and my mind is nonsense destined for medication but I don't know about all of that

I'm at impasse after impasse trying to
be in love, when will things turn out right for me ?

why aren't my ends
amicable ?
my friends
understandable ?
my loves
accountable ?
these songs
irresistable ?

why do I
come short ?
ring flat ?
fall splat ?

you seem disgusted by it all
and all is a lot to be disgusted by

overwhelming,
feeling it
like every pixel and pixel between
on a white screen

it washes around in your
stomach
like an exuberant
decay.
the genocide,
the exploitation,
of your mother earth

I wish I could wash you,
but it'd be just another
illusion or ideal
to be behind

tingles of skin
like kisses from angels
they release the tears
what i wish for.

and these angels free
someone strong while i am weak
both faces of the same coin

theyre starting to come easier
and why is it after I cry,
I tend to smile?

you fell from grace.
your wisdom only goes so far,
without it.
your elegance, oh,
how i miss the days
ignorance was the meaning.
the heart has opened
and the beast speaks now
and forever more of the soul and
emotion wrought.

the internet and I had a toxic relationship,
so I always try to cut her off,
but she's the algorithim that completes me.

so to the irony the one that destroyed some of my past love,
is one of the only things left to rely and comfort me at any of darker night.

they thought they caught blood on my hands
but really it was just jelly.

nocturnal
filled with lead
tinged with acid
plush plomous skin

the licks you inflict
from the gun pointed in contradict
suddenly stick to, and its sick too,
that the violence of silence in sundered solace of which the trigger was shot to, and now in this constant, its the bullet that shocks, its the anger that he kills. helplessly instilled.

in the cloud castles,
the dragons are imagined.

to cut the silver tongues
of the wicked ones
is the poor princesses'
only escape.

I'm a
small town
petting zoo
goat,
a gentle
domesticated
farm animal
leashed loosely
to a pole for
no real
reason

just standing
there,
waiting for
the right
little girl
to scratch
behind my
ears
or pet my
whiskery
snout
just to earn
some much
needed rest.

you can sit
next to me
if you're nice.

make me cry,
     make me right.
   oh sweet darling,
        stay;
      and hold me for life.

it all passes like a train
near a building amased
in sawdust,
glue, and boogers.
lethargic brakes screech
on the tracks
through cardboard windows
that shake walls of drywall
to crash
atop cracked glass.
it passed like a train
and i know it to be passed.
i'll lie down to find a home anew
on this track of my own.

an instrument is like a dance floor and
the notes like a partner
in which the expressive heart
of all things
begins to align
and coencide with nothing but
the language of love.

when i took that 50/50
wins and losses,
my jaw started tensing and hurting more than ever
and my sinuses are all infected all the time.

two of the many illnesses id take with you both

hearing your names
feels like a burning lighter
on a gooey sore

thinking your face
yields me the same
indifferential
thought of you

but the burning skin,
you'd seem never smell,
left me quivering for years.
i trusted you
to always
try to understand.

Long tailed *****;
  magical, of darkened purity.
take all you can.
  for i only have to give.
my ears have grown to hear
  your perfidious purr.
you are not without fault.
  and with this is the bites that have grown scar.

Is it possible to take it all back ?
To be without beginning ?
To bloom without a seed ?

We see them,
passerby with
courteous smiles.
They're trying to be nice,
to make a friend,
be an ally.
Is there any more to kindness ?

I wrote you a book but it burnt
from my memory,
you may have kept the manuscript
but I suggest you shred it,
let it go.

This feeling feels foreign
yet it's like a new nostalgia.
I'm in love with someone I don't want around,
someone I can't stand to see
but to see them would be relief.
Because every day
was joy with her,
and she destroyed what
I knew to be happiness,
like I didn't know what it
was to begin with:
the warmth of a sun ray
in a cold dark room,
a kind stranger
into the end of
a summer day.

i blow a cool kiss
to the boiling ***
(lest it bubble over)

joyously cooking
mixin' and masterin'
stirrin' and spinnin'
sealin' and servin'
meals wrapped up all
tight

mmm.. tell me the secret
in how it tastes just like
love every time ?

when depression strikes,
i'd rather hold that weight to myself
than harm others under that unlimited upending pressure.

releasing it in power, like a bully, only makes it worse.
releasing it slowly, with a guiding healing hand, made it better.
that hand lost, i miss it, but it is no worse than before.

I am a void to shout in.
If heaven or hell fails you,
I am the calm night of next.
To entice you out of your princess' tower.
I envelop like a blanket and yet suffocate like a snake.