Two sides of a
canyon splitting below.
Where are
you?

I am certain I heard
My heart break that day.
Physically ripped in two pieces
By the same hands
That once held me close.
Every day I fight.
Every new stitch I make,
In an attempt to pull myself
Back together,
Is a piercing hole in my side.
I tell myself over and over,
Even painful progress
Is a step in the right direction.
In pain there is healing.
I will find myself again,
*And I won't need your help this time.

You took a piece of me
I thought I had got back by now.
When you showed up again
Emptiness followed
As the part you stole shattered
All over again
I'm reminded of who you
Once made me.

Since you showed up again
Every one of my sentences
Has contained the word
Sorry.

If a thousand wrongs aren't making it right,
Why do you still seek my forgiveness?

The rope is there,
Just reach a little farther dear.

You made me a survival bracelet
Made of military para cord.
But I wonder if you know
That this is the safety line I use
To tie my heart to yours.

Every day we walk the line
Live or die
Laugh or Cry

One little slip
Your world goes flying
In what direction
You’re deciding

We make the decision day to day
Hide behind the pain or have your way
Walk the line and try to balance
Pray that you don’t fall.

In a life so full of imperfections
It’s hard to see the wonders
Of a world in a rush to see the next light
We need to stop before it’s smothered

Have you ever watched a flower bloom
Or seen a vanilla twilight?
Or stopped to see the leaves turn gold
And a smile light someone’s eyes

Tell me have you ever counted the stars in the sky
Just to see if some were missing?
Or sat beside a riverbank to watch the water glistening

You’d better slow down
Don’t dance so fast
Live in the moment
Before it becomes your past

Pick up a penny and walk through the rain
Indulge in a culture you’ve never heard named
Take some risks and try something new
Because you never know what could complete you

Laugh freely and love a lot
Do something daring and never get caught
Believe in your family and lean on your friends
You needn’t be alone to make amends

Pay attention to the little things
Because they could become huge
Take this life slowly
And shoot for the moon.

I use the moon as my guide
A watchful eye over this changing ocean
Keeping the tides on their paths home
Always bringing me back
To where we had to part on these shores.

That's all life is really.
Random, beautiful, happenings.

I love the million tiny things
You do without realizing.

Sometimes loneliness holds my hand.
Sometimes the road stretches far beyond what my imagination can fathom.
Sometimes the distance and the heartache is too much to hold.
Sometimes the worry and the danger drives me insane.
Sometimes time is on our side.
Right now it seems not to be.
But sometimes time is all you have with a person, and it is the most valuable and precious thing.

This time, for one dance in the moonlight, it would be worth it.

Let's make a tin can phone
And trail the string all the way
From where we first met
Through our journey into the future.
I hope that some day
When I pick up that can again
You will still be on the other end of our string
Winding it around your fingers
Just as delicately
As you used to play with my hair.

I like who I
Am when I
Am with
You.

If your arms are home,
I'm on a different planet.

65 miles away
Text
Longing
Tears
Not enough to stay...

I have a confession.
I don't know very much about trains. Actually, very little at all.
I know that they have a beginning and an end, and a whole lot of middle.
Kind of like life.
Trains can take you places,
From here to there
From old to new
From start to finish
But cars can do that. Planes can too.
So why do we take trains? They take so much longer.
Except, maybe that is the whole point; the real reason.
Time is never in abundance, and we are always rushing from one chore or job to the next with no time to take a break or rest or reflect or breathe.
Sitting on a train, with nowhere to go and no control over what time you arrive at your destination, you are forced to be calm.
To just sit, and perhaps even enjoy the moment.
In reality, this is what our goal in life should be: to take pleasure in the journey.

I have another confession.
I really want to ask you to take this train with me.
I want to enjoy this journey with you, ignoring the start and forgetting how soon or abrupt the ending could be.
I want to look at the scenery and talk about pretty things and drink yummy coffee and play footsie under the table.
For the first time in my life I want to be uncertain. I don't want to know when or where or how this will end.
I think there is a part of me that already knows where our next stop is, but I can't get the image of laughing with you out of my head.
Baby, let's just see where this thing takes us.
All I know is that you get my wheels turning and my heart racing.
All I know is our beginning and our end.

*But darling, won't you fill me in on that whole lot of middle?

I need a plan.
The consistency,
Something dependable.
The earth is on a schedule
The moon waxing and waning
The tides coming in and out
It's slow rotation
And oncoming seasons
The things I have come to rely on.
Today was an earthquake.
The planet shook in it's boots
As ceilings crumbled
And pipes burst
And lives snapped.
It was like the world stopped turning.
In the grand scheme of things,
Fault lines have shifted
Relieved of their tension
Regardless of my plans
Something needed to change.
It never comes when you want it to.
But no matter what happens,
The tides will continue to
Breathe in
And breathe out
Right on schedule
As we pick up the pieces again.

Trust.
One of the hardest things I have ever tried to do.
Honestly, half the time I don't even trust myself.
Fighting an uphill battle against my inner demons,
But you know that.
I love you so much it hurts sometimes.
I second guess myself
And claw at my chest to see if my heart is still there.
It isn't.
It's with you,
Held gently in hands that do not shake.
Will never shake.
You are always right.
Maybe even when you call me beautiful.
My jaw trembles sometimes.
With you I have given up trying to hide it.
Because I know now that when my faith cracks,
When my knees go weak with uncertainty,
And I decide that I am not good enough
You will pick me up,
Stare me sternly in the face,
And have the confidence to say:
*You are wrong.

You are the best thing
That's still happening to me.
(:

Does flying to Cloud
Nine count as
"falling" in
love?

I was wearing your shirt
My hair half falling out
And you stood behind me
In half of your tuxedo
With the gentlest hands
Slowly pulling the pins
Out of my hair.
I'm still not sure why
I found this moment so breathtaking.
Maybe it was the stillness
Or the stripping of beauty.
All I know is that
In that moment
I felt how wonderful
A real life with you
Might be like.

It's easier when my teardrops
Wash down the shower drain.

I love you.
You mean the world to me.
Your eyes still give me butterflies.
Poetry could never explain you perfectly enough.

Except I messed up.
These sentiments are getting lost in a mass of breakdowns and pity parties.
You are the rock I cling onto when the stormy winds get too strong.
But that doesn't mean you deserve to be faced by a stone heart.

I have received a reality check.
I am finally coming to realize how lucky I am to have you by my side.
Its time that I offer some explanation for the crazy constellation thoughts that build up in my head.

"Do or do not. There is no try."
A quote I think you'd like.
So this is my vow to us, darling.

I will kiss you on a regular basis.
I will look up at a full moon and feel your hand in mine.
I will love my freckles.
I will love my body.

I will believe you when you tell me that I am beautiful.
I will sit beside you and enjoy the silence when your mouth is swollen shut.
I will sit beside you and enjoy the silence when the sunrise brings tears to my eyes.
I will share every tear with you, whether they be mine or yours.

I will worry less openly over your safety, as it only clouds the pride in your duty.
I will follow my dreams.
I will work hard until I sweat, because in sweat you cannot drown.

I will always remember that things could be worse.
I will be stronger in myself and be more confident in who I am.
I will hold your hand whenever there is a needle.

I will love every single piece of you.
Even the icky gut parts.
Somehow you make them gorgeous.

I will tell you "I love you" and mean it with my heart and soul.

Because maybe, just maybe, there will be a time in our future that we don't have an expiration date.
I am willing to place my bets on that.

Heart pounding as you breathe in my...ear.
Leg shaking as your fingers brush my...hips.
Mouth waters for the sticky sweet honey that drips off your...tongue.
Fingers trembling from your weight on my...chest.
Mind spinning as you kiss my...shoulder.
Breath stutters as you feel my...*soul.

Baby,
We have been apart longer
Than we have been together.
Mastered the distance,
We know what it's worth.
But baby,
I think we forgot
How to be together again.
Having you stand next to me
Was so surreal
I was at a loss for words.
We got it back though baby,
As soon as I sat down
With your arms perfectly around me
My world healed itself again.
No need for small talk
Just your sweet kisses
And our breathing in synch.
We can do this baby.
I know we can.
Just a few more months.

It happened right there
In the middle of your garage
Swaying back and forth
To the music of our heartbeats.
This is where I knew
That in your arms
Is where my heart belongs.

The ground is wet
The sun is gone
The worst is still to come

Because in this life
We are alone
To endure the pain and death

But maybe now
The sun will show
Its face for all to see

I hope that soon
The warmth will come
Reach out to try to save me.

Lucky*
Doesn't even begin to cover
What we are, darling.

We should save each other;
The whales are doing fine.

I don't need to dress up
To feel good about myself,
But I sure do like the way
Your eyes sparkle
When you look at me.

Crashing, fighting, surviving, breathing
sun shining. It
Could be
Worse.

Nights spent with cold feet
Staring into nothing
Ripping up old photos
Of who you used to be.
Now you're an evicted house
A hollowed out ribcage
Heart amputee
With the only way of filling the empty
A daily dose of pills.
What have you become?