By the maths block
at recess lunch time
Yiska waits for Benny
sunshine's

above her head
Benny said
to meet her here
other kids

are on the sports field
some at ball games
others sitting in groups
talking

some alone
wandering
then he comes
running up

sorry bit late
had to see Mr H
about the cross-country run
later to day

that's all right
she says
feeling relieved
that he has come

running her eyes
over him
sensing her
heartbeat quicken

where do you
want to go?
he asks
what about there

behind the maths block
no one
can see us there
ok

he says
so they walk back
by the fence
by the maths block wall

and there sit
on a low wall
and she kisses him
and he kisses her too

and he embraces her
feels her waist
her slimness
she holds him close

feeling along his spine
feeling warm
sensing her
body glow

they kiss and tongue
and with eyes closed
all seems alive
and hot

then someone bangs
on a window
of the maths block
a teacher stands there

shaking his head
and gesturing
them away
with his hand

so disappointedly
they walk along
by the fence

and out of his sight
and onto the sports field
hand in hand
she keeping

the memory
to hold
and re-dream
that night.

Yehudit looked back
at Benedict-
at the back
of the classroom

more with
that boy Rolland-
but he looked elsewhere.
Something the boy showed.

Titter of laughter.
Miss G, the teacher,
looked at them.
Clapped her hands.

Her bespectacled stare
silenced them.
Yehudit looked back
to the front, the blackboard,

something written
on Beethoven's life and music.
Miss G walked in front
of the class

talking of the last
string quartets.
Yehudit thought
of Benedict and her

by the pond
the previous day.
Sun warm upon them
as they sat on the grass.

She talked of the ducks
and swan and the heron
that landed nearby.
He listened,

but thought of kissing
and holding or so
he later said.
Miss G put on a record

of a string quartet.
Yehudit looked back
and Benedict smiled
and that made her day

and she never heard
the string quartet
of Beethoven
as it played away.

We came out
of the small door
at the back
of the church

after the Sunday service
in which we sang
in choir
and stood looking

at the gravestones
spread around us
going back
to the river

I guess
we'll end up here
one day
Yehudit said

here amongst the dead
mournful aren't we?
I said
we're only young

not fifteen yet
and here you are
talking about
being here

we walked on
along the path
beside the church
but it's true though

we will one day
she said
one day maybe
I said

but why worry
about it now?
I'm not worried about it
just saying

she said
anyway the news
of Mr M's wife
drowning herself

in the park pond
brings it home
just how fragile
we are

we walked on
past more gravestones
some names
wearing away

with time and age
yes that was
a bit of a shock
sad when people

get to that stage
and feel the need
to end it all
I said

Yehudit's sister
passed us by
with a friend
walking faster

Yehudit held my hand
I sensed the hand there
feeling the warmth
her finger wrapping

themselves about mine
but we must focus
on living
she said

us here now
holding hands
being here
on a bright morning

not about death
or dying
we walked along
the lane away

from the church
between hedgerows
at the side
to avoid

passing cars and bikes
I'll see you
this afternoon
if I can get away

Yehudit said
if Mum doesn't want
this or that done
we walked on

she thinking about
Mr M's wife's death
and I thinking
of the afternoon

by the pond
and a kiss or two
and whatever else
young people may do.

Lizbeth lies
on her bed
after returning
from seeing Benny

in the small hamlet
outside town
she lies and fumes
and muses on the day

Benny talking
of birds of prey
and all she wanted
was for him

to have her
although she knew
it'd be a waste
of effort

but she thought maybe
he might weaken
if she tried enough  
and wore her

shortest skirt and such
but no
all talk of birds
and butterflies

and his
****** queen
from school
on his mind

as they walked
no doubt
worth an effort
she muses

maybe one day
he may
downstairs her mother
plays the radio

some classical stuff
her mother's
croaking voice
attempting

a Schubert song
the bed is soft
the pillow holds
her head

she pretends
Benny's there
closes her eyes
imagines its his fingers

touching her now
not hers
his fingers
lifting the skirt

his finger and thumb
lowering
her underwear
the Schubert song

is done
her mother's croak
is silent
some other

composer's music
fills the air
up from the stair
she wants it to be him

not her
his fingers not hers
its not the same
despite the pretence

her fingers stop
and lay by her side
and she opens
her eyes

with no
pretended ride.

Lizbeth sits
on her bike
by the hedge

her short skirt
showing thighs
her white blouse

open necked
Benny sees
her from his

bedroom view
sitting there
on her bike

he goes down
out the front
to see her

well I'm here
Lizbeth says
weather's warm

we could go
for a walk
or a ride

Benny knows
why she's come
and stands there

by the gate
I'm with Jane
not with you

he tells her
but will she
-****** queen-

that Jane girl
let you have
*** with her?

Lizbeth asks
I don't want
to have ***

with you or
anyone
Benny says

not until
I'm older
not thirteen

Lizbeth sighs
inwardly
wanting him

sexually
and had come
very close

a few times
the ******
that girl Jane

needn't know
if we do
Lizbeth says

anyway
we can still
have a walk

I promise
to be good
Lizbeth says

just to talk
nothing else
Benny says

but of course
she tells him
so Benny

walks with her
down the lane
by the side

of the house
between high
hedges filled

with song birds
she speaks of
her mother

and her moods
her father's
indifference

the latest
rock and roll
long player

she'd bought
he listens
to her talk

smelling her
strong perfume
her red hair

tied in two
ponytails
the freckles

on her skin
she thinking
as they walk

side by side
how he'd look
above her

having ***
in her room
back at home

both naked
and that Jane
watching them

Benny thinks
of the hawk
-sparrowhawk-

he had seen
while with Jane
its power

flying high
hovering
waiting for

the big ****
and Jane's hand
near to his

as they walked
but Lizbeth
talks about

a new dress
she'd been bought
a bright red

with flowers
of yellow
and quite short

and Mother
doesn't like
its shortness

she says it
shows too much
nonetheless

I have it
Lizbeth says
then she stops

you can come
and see it
at some time

at my place
I promise
to be good

Benny says
that he could
-not that he

ever would-
then he tells
her about

seeing the
sparrowhawk
hovering

above them
Jane and him
powerful

and mighty
in the sky
Lizbeth thinks

it boring
just a bird
she muses

wanting him
inside her
in her bed

in her room
but she'll wait
bide her time

like the hawk
for her prey
and have him

some hot day.

A French monk wipes
the shell of an egg
on the serge of black.

He walks slowly
in sandaled feet
across the cloister,
his shadow following
close behind.

I pick apples
from the apple trees
in the abbey orchard,
my fingers twisting
as I'd be shown

-she mouthed
my fingers
one by one,
******* them
to a strawberry ripeness-

Dom Leo takes
the breviary
from the shelf
beside his hip,
opens to the right page,
eyes scanning
the script

- I watched her
as she slowly stripped.

It's a Holly Blue
Jane mused
watching the butterfly
flutter past

sitting on the Downs
not seen one for ages
she thought
seeing it flutter

over the ground
then up and up
then downward go
the other day

it'd been
the Dingy Skipper
fluttering past
her head

as she sat and thought
on Benedict
the London boy
who'd come and lived

by the Downs
with his parents
and whom she liked
and secretly

she mused
she loved -
not telling him
as such-

yes the Holly blue
how it thrilled her
watching it flutter
on its way

unaware she watched
its flight and journey
in its insect world
then it had gone

from sight -
she must tell Benedict
she mused-
a Tortoiseshell

fluttered past
the meadow grass
if only Benedict was here
she said

inside her head
missing his arm
looped through hers
his melodic voice

his hazel eyes
and quiff of hair
if only she mused
he was there.