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Terry Collett May 2015
And Jane shows me
a sparrowhawk in the sky
hovering there
powerful and merciless

made to ****
like a flying
machine of death
so I'd read

in a book on birds
I'd bought
they ****
she says

but that's their nature
but there's beauty
there up there
in the air

I stand beside her
feeling her
presence near
her hand close

to mine
her dark hair
blowing in the wind
as we watch

the hawk hovering
there against
the wind's pull
and push

her dark eyes
holding on
to the sight
then it dives

and whoosh and zip
a bird has been snatched
and of and away
and we watch

both sad and thrilled
not by the killing
but by the show
of skill and flight

she looks at me
and says
glad I'm not
a small bird

waiting to be taken
like that
but as Daddy says
all things are

in God's hands
I say nothing
just want to hold
her hand and feel

her warmth
and skin and pulse
we walk on
across the field

her hand just
touching mine
skin on skin
the wind moving us

on like two birds
in flight
not towards a death
or dying

but hopefully
to a love
or deeper love
worth trying.
A BOY AND GIRL AND A SPARROWHAWK AND LOVE.
Terry Collett May 2015
Fay fingers
the black beads
prayer laden

Hail Marys
Our Fathers
her father

listens near
don't forget
he suggests

to mention
your recent
sinfulness

Fay listens
to his words
but then asks

what was that
sinfulness?
you're being

with that boy
who is not
Catholic

he tells her
why sinful?
she asks him

I say so
he replies
you're too young

for a boy
you are just
eleven

so is he
Fay replies
seeing then

Benedict
walking up
past the pub

looking out
the window
of the flat

sitting room
it's a sin
anyway

her father
informs her
walking off

from the room
Benedict
has gone now

from her sight
passed the bridge
where steam trains

often pass
leaving steam
but she has

Benedict
inwardly
in a dream.
A GIRL AND HER ROSARY BEADS AND HER FATHER'S WORDS.
Terry Collett May 2015
And Fay is there by the wall
of the playground
-a basement of a bombed
out house cleared

of the upper building-
I step down onto
the tarmac area
and she sees me

and smiles
and I go over to her
and I say
you want to talk

with me?
and she says
yes
so I look around

and see its getting
pretty crowded now
as its recess time
and kids have

had their meals
let's go up
onto the flower
bedding area

its quieter there
so we walk off
and up
and we're alone

except for a few kids
gazing at the flowers
what you want
to talk to me about?

I ask
she looks unhappy
and when I see
her unhappy it tugs

at my heart strings-
or some place
inside of me-
I'm going

to a Catholic school
once we leave
junior school
this year

she says
and I won't be in
the same school
or class as you

why are you going
to a Catholics school?
I ask
taking in

her teary eyes
we are Catholics
and my daddy
wants me to go there

and away
from the Protestant
riff-raff as he calls them
but I like it here

and being with you
and my other friends
but he is adamant
I am going

she says
that's too bad
I say
I'll miss you

being around
and walking home
from school with you
-she lives

in the flat upstairs
from me-
what school will you
be going to?

she asks
almost in a cry
an all-boys school
no girls at all

that will be
punishment in itself
let alone
the tough kids

and teachers
who're mostly
ex-army
I say

we will see each other
though at weekends
and maybe
some evenings

won't we?
she looks at me
with her blue
becoming watery eyes

can you meet me
after school some days?
she asks
sure I can

and her 11 year old hand
touches my
11year old hand
and it feels

warm and soft
and then before
other kids
-especially boys-

can note
she kisses my cheek
and walks way
and I think

God thank you
for the kiss
and lips
and lovely today.
A BOY AND GIRL IN LONDON IN 1950S AND LEAVE TAKING TALK.
Terry Collett Apr 2015
Her parents
seldom came
despite her

loss of leg
but Anne
didn't care

or so said
too busy
far away

to visit
her at the
nursing home

so she read
between lines
of letters

that they sent
now and then
when the leg

is better
and fresh healed
you can roam

your new home
or green field
the letter

last sent said
but Anne
didn't cry

or reply
as she was
meant to do

she just said
in her head
up you too.
ANNE AT A NURSING HOME AND HER NON REPLY TO HER PARENTS IN 1959 IN ENGLAND.
Terry Collett Apr 2015
Yes Helen muses Id like to meet Benny by the Duke of Wellington but to ask Mum first and I dont think shell mind as its Benny as she likes Benny and his mum and mine know each other and talk to each other at the school gates and when they talk they talk and yes if I ask Mum nicely and when shes not busy shell let me go but I cant leave it too long or the time will go and he will have gone if Im not at the Duke of Wellington by ten past ten this morning has as he is going to the herbalist shop to buy liquorice sticks and sarsaparilla by the glassful and Benny says it makes blood so if I drink a pint I will make a pint of blood and hopefully I wont spillover with blood she waits a few minutes while her mother puts away the shopping Helen had bought home from Baldys and looking at her mother making sure her mothers features did not show too much stress and timing it right that was the key Benny told her once timing is the key he said her mother walks around the kitchen seemingly busy the baby crawling around her mothers feet and the smell of nappies boiling on the stove steam rising smell of it Mum she asks can I go out with Benny to the herbalist shop and buy some liquorice sticks and sarsaparilla? her mother picks up the baby she hugs him close smells his rear end pulls a face what did you say? her mother asks holding baby a little distance away from her arms out stretched walking to the put-down table over the bath and placing baby down can I go with Benny to the herbalist shop and get some sarsaparilla and liquorice sticks? Helen repeats standing with fingers crossed behind her back when are you wanting to go? her mother asks unpinning babys ***** and the smell erupting into the room and air as soon as I am allowed Helen says trying not to breath in hoping her mother will say yes but her mother hesitates her features ******* up her fingers pulling back the offending ***** and dropping it in a pail at her feet bring me a clean ***** from the other room Helen and some talcum power and some cream and best get some other safety pins as these are a bit well not fit to put on again until theyve been washed o keep still you little perisher dont move your legs so and no dont piddle on me go on then Helen dont dawdle so Helen walks into the other room and collects a ***** from the fireguard and talcum powder and cream and pins from the bag by the chair and takes them to her mother who is struggling to hold the baby in one place and clean up the smelling liquid and mess  and waving a hand in front of her face to give her fresher air give them here then girl I cant wait all day and here hold his legs the little figit so I can get him clean properly Helen pulls a face and carefully reaches over to try and hold her brothers legs still while her mother attempts to clean him up but her brothers legs move at a pace and hes quite strong for one so small she thinks hold him hold him her mother says Helen does her best for a little girl not yet in double figures there done it her mother says hes done now right take him and put him in the cot in the other room while I wash these nappies out can I? Helen asks can I go? go where? what do you want now? her mother says to go to the herbalist with Benny Helen asks he asked me this morning while I was getting the shopping at Baldys her mother put on the kettle and empties the nappies in the big sink when did you want to go? as soon as I am allowed Helen says gazing at her mother through her thin wired thick lens glasses hoping her mum will say yes off you go well you cant always rush off you know not when I may need you after all youre my big girl the oldest of the tribe but as youve been good this one time you can go but mind the roads and keep with Benny and if you need to go to loo make sure its a clean place and put some toilet paper on the seat you dont know who sits on them things ok I will Helen says trying to recall all her mothers instructions can I go now? she asks hoping her mother will not change her mind at the last minute best go now then her mother says its nine fifty nine fifty? Helen says what's that mean? ten minutes to ten her mother says o right Helen says and rushes into the passage way and put on your raincoat it looks like rain her mother calls out I got it Helens says and rushes out the door and down the stairs carefully not wanting fall down the steep steps she holds on to the stair rail and then out into the street and bright fresh air and dull clouds and she walks along Rockingham Street under the railway bridge and there he is Benny hands in his jeans pockets his hair and quiff creamed down and his hazel eyes gazing at her blimey he says youre earlier than I thought youd be he takes in her hair plaited into two and her thin wire framed glasses making her eyes larger than they are had to help Mum with my baby brother she says hed messed his ***** and Mum had to clean him up and needed me to help and gosh the smell Benny enough to make you feel sick and anyway Im here now o but I havent money I forgot to ask Mum for money she says biting a lip looking back towards where shed come I got money Benny says rattling coins in his jeans pocket she smiles and looks at him he gives her the kind of smile she likes the kind that makes her feel safe and wanted and she loves the coat he wears with the odd buttons and and his quiff of air and his warm what shall we do now stare.
A GIRL AND HER MOTHER AND A BOY AND MEETING IN LONDON IN 1955.
Terry Collett Apr 2015
See this leg
that's not there?
Anne asks

Skinny Kid
lifting up
her red skirt

to show him
the leg stump
so he stares

at the leg's
fleshy stump
I see it

or I don't
he replies
and they sit

eyes to eyes
well it hurts
she tells him

even though
it's not there
beyond that

******* stump
of hot flesh
he notes her

dark of eyes
himself there
reflected

two of him
looking back
but none of

the penguins
-nursing nuns
in habits

black and white-
believe me
when I say

my leg hurts
or they say
Anne it's

in your head
not your leg
your leg's gone

nothing's wrong
do you Kid
believe me?

sure I do
the Kid says
what you say

I believe
Anne plants
a wet kiss

on the Kid's
pale white brow
that's good Kid

**** the nuns
and their doubts
and she waves

her thin hand
in the space
below the

fleshy stump
it hurts here
she tells him

or somewhere
there abouts.
A BOY AND GIRL IN NURSING HOME FOR KIDS IN 1959.
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