i sit and stand
for some sort of solution
endless chatter from the past hides in small spaces
that blonde mane can create flames
and it does
in your mind
a thousand reasons why
we won't work
in mine
who knows
i've lost track of time

i was born failing
so it's easy for me to hold on
to things
even if they aren't working
i was born into something that never worked

don't you see?

if it was not for music
i would be
strung out
hopeless
waiting for a mistake to enter my temples
i'd regret this
only for a moment
but it's beautiful to be a loner
at times
when you can't make up your mind
how lovely it is to not waste another's time
with your regrets and indecision

another morning where i leave a bed
unmade
and taunt myself with memories of you
and i
you hold my hand
in measures
almost apologetically at times
and i understand why
because we're both waiting for the reprise
young love
you've got me
wrapped up in denial and so many wishes
i kiss this
drawn out hit list
and stare out at what i've missed
all along
and it's the accountability
of making one's own bed
each morning
before
i leave you

man, this time lady year
I was soaking my feet
into new thoughts
of you
while laying my head to rest
in old memories
of her
January
always a blur
of residue unrest
Head cocked and tilted
Towards wounds and names
that I wanted to forget as soon as my
tongue hit their pavement
working on erasing
while sitting crossed
on a stranger's living room floor
Serpents
repent

tonight i miss
my woman
who's not mine
will never be mine
yet she chooses
to spend the most time
with simple me
an odd thought
to be so in love
with someone you may not have known
had we not ****** up
this mistake
swallows me
often
i grapple at the knees
of this denied giant
once more
but i'm tired
so instead, tonight
i fold into the memory of
you
my great love

i want to be made out of brick
the malt of her residue
i taste the salt
on my lips
of you
of you

one of these days
i plan on burying you
in the left corner of my gregarious backyard
it will be such a strange sight
how land so fraught can fold into smaller loves
let the dirt turn you over
until i've nothing left to scour
my devotion pealing off me
like a strange leaving
into the ground
goodbye, heavy hour
farewell