i wonder
where it is that you go
when you leave
out of mind
elsewhere
repeating
your same behaviors
i've never been a fan of
the outsourcing of details and denial
so, if you must
then please leave
darling
and stay gone
because i'm tired of
the wonder
when it's not longer mystery
it's exhausting

my roommate is crying
down the hall
i hear it
and i know
why
because he is gone
and it's not the fact that he is gone
but because
we have thought
about leaving too.

you and i
should never leave the bedside
stuck to my left hip
i carve petals out of your rib
and finger the emblem
of knowing
this is love

if i am more than god
you are the title i worship
see, i never learned faith through desertion
but i learned to love a woman
who lives like the ocean
swiftly
gently
my body breaks into and over
what waves you create
what love you let under
i drown in the thought of you
enough is never enough
when it comes to learning
you
you
you
speak through me
in many tongues
i want to lap my mouth around the center
of what it is that could make us better
and swallow it whole
leaving the stem
as minor evidence
of how
i fell
in love
with a deity of a woman

if i'm a whale
if i'm a rarity
as you claim
well, then i say
that you my darling
are enough for me to want to stay
right here
in this moment
always
wrap my wrists
in your reverence
wrap my heart
in forgiveness
with your blonde strands
embedded in between
my teeth
in this mind, in this heath
i beg of you to tread through this blood and bone
where you will find
devotion to you
alone
lone
lone
just a silly girl
who feels a lot
who has tunnel vision
of piercing your soul
like you've done
to my own

the day goes blank
as i stare ahead
but can only see
the mouth of me
grazing your skin
empty promises acting as teeth
caught in between
ending
and
leaving
run this memory
all over me, darling
down to the dust of doubt
while i make love
to the pendulum of our love
when i say
i see beyond it
in my way
i mean to say
i see you
and i will always

you
you were always
checked out of your skull
and i
i was always praying
you would never
finally
go.