a constant
head check
of lines that i recite
well, pull them out of my mouth
darling
and lap my tongue
around every apology
or lie
and swallow the stem
i want to be yours
but i want you to be mine
oh, well
then
what does that entail
now?

okay.
so, i learn from trial and error.
once again.
i know that i need to assess and assemble,
gather and gamble,
toss and change
what it is that has me restless.
okay.
so, i learn that i need to enjoy time
alone
withdrawn
but i do that a lot
anyway.
use the past as a model
for what worked
and what was done
and look forward to
mistakes, love and those
moments
it feels good to be
alive.

all of me
wants to erase
the doubts
i've had all along
but you play
like a song
right in front of me
the same lines
repeat repeat
if you can't allow me to articulate what it is that upsets me
if you turn your back
while i have bent mine
you leave me with nothing left
but a cracked mind, crooked spine

when i don't know
where to fit
i fold in
it's there i can be or not
any shape
any design
i'll hold onto what i like
and learn to forgive
the colors i don't quite understand.
become my palette
become my welcomed sin
i'll wear it wear
this second layer of skin
i'll show you
in time
that all of this
is worth it

for a moment
on a Tuesday afternoon
I was nameless
and you were too
we held hands
and our breath
as we forgot how to exist
petals and blunt objects
in front of me
floating black
on my eyelids
nothing else i possessed
but aimless love
swimming in it
on the rock
looking out into the sea before me
i fell in love without pretense

lying on top
of doubt
and questions
i clung to the rock
clung to your side
and forgot
we existed for a moment

Summer
Always reminds me of
Your Olive skin
Caving in
Onto my chest
Petals broken in
Slowly curving out
In between the ribs
You always wore
The crown, my darling
And now I know
After staring straight
Into this memory
You always will