Winter dies
Spring comes alive
There is no Autumn in Chicago
And Spring leaves as quickly as it arrives
Jolting us to what is always an uncertain Summer
That’s my city
Just like my heart
My love life
Chicago
I don’t have one without the other
Mashed up together
Yet separated
Segregated
Deep Love on the Northside
Lover on the Southside
Sidekick on the Westside
And when it’s all too much to handle
The East is my escape
Sitting on the rocks letting my legs dangle and toes dip in the icy cold greenish lake
I feel comfort in it
Immense and wide spread, like me sometimes
Clear but *****
Supposedly the cleanest water you can drink
After the city purifies it of course
Just like me, just like mine
My vessel pours clear and *****
But the city purifies me through cleansing nights
Through raised glasses of wine and music that harmonizes my heart
Kisses that clean and absorb
Tongue that licks off the saltiness I’ve accumulated
A thin layer
Its washed off and cleared from one moment to the next
Like the city skyline
And I’m ready for a new day
A new love
Or lover
I reincarnate in the Spring from what seems a slow death but was only a tormenting hibernation
Led into another uncertain Summer
Returning with scorching tenderness through cool breezes and radiating heart
Radiating sun
That’s how it feels in Chicago
That’s my City
Just like my Heart
I don’t have one without the other

Sunday
I’m strong, confident
I face everything head on
City is still
City is perfect

Monday
I meet a handsome smile
I blush
I crush
City sun rises, clear in the morning, foggy by midday
Forecast already in disarray

Tuesday
I start to remember what Love feels like
City shares clear bright sunny sky
City heats sidewalks and warms the lake

Wednesday
I drown in my sheets from heart ache
City cloudy, rainy, chilly

Thursday
I lash out
Shouting to the top of my lungs
City windy, thunderous clouds, roof top shingles and street signs fallen down

Friday
I toughen up to face a new day
Straight faced
City cold, bitter, with a touch of sleet and snow on window panes

Saturday
I ease up
I let my frown relax to a smile
City cool, breeze, clear sky

Next week’s forecast?
Please re-read

Time stopped

The crashing sounds of our scream came to a halt
And echoed for what seemed to be a never ending pause

The loudest moment of silence

And I saw the glimmer in your eyes dim

And everything felt cold

My heart exploding
My eyes overflowing
My screams just going and going

All the while the voice inside telling me to just shut up
And as much as I wanted to
I just kept going and going
Why didn’t I just shut up

I know you were dying to yell that at me

I convince myself you're out to get me
Jabbing at me
Mocking me
Making fun of me

You stood quiet
And when I finally let you speak
You told me how your words or one word that offended me…was actually you trying to defend me

Time stopped

The crashing sound of my heart falling to the ground
The crashing sound of my silence falling down…to the ground

It still echoes in my mind

And I saw the glimmer in your eyes dim…die
And everything feels so cold

The glimmer is not enough to keep either one of us warm

But every time you look at me
Every time I look at you
I’m hoping to see…foolishly
That glimmer grow into a flame
Hoping that one of those looks will be a burning gaze
Burn to make my heart explode
Disintegrating our rage

But no
Never again
No more glimmers
No more flames
We lost this crazy battle
Battle of silliness
War of craziness
War of crazy passion

I forfeit
Only to find out you forfeited long before me

Time stopped for you and me
Our time stopped
I’m glad our screams have come to a halt

You save me with your words, hugs, smiles
You save me with white chocolate and sweet wine that’s clear like your eyes
We save each other with guilty pleasures
Shared
And naughty are the thoughts that stir the sweetness that exudes from both our glasses
And we toast to the evening
I sip
And I feel saved
You save me tonight, like you have many other nights
From my consuming thoughts
From my heart that burns so much at times, from a love that only knows how to burn furiously
You save me from the fury
Your love that warms like a low steady flame
You let me fuel it on those evenings
And I let myself go
And I let myself pour
Because nothing else exists in my mind and heart when we gaze in the clarity of this simplicity
You save me from the outside world
It’s in these four walls you keep me safe
Your words, hugs, smiles
Bites of white chocolate and sips of sweet wine
I rest safe in those clear eyes that see ME as perfection
You save me from feeling broken

Through my veins
Traced in my blood
Elements, Remnants
Of beautiful, strong, dark eyed, dark skinned people, women
Skin touched by the sun, leaving a golden tint that glows and flickers under the light of the moon

Eyes and heart moonlit
Glowing even when eyelids are closed
And the soul leaps from the heart to travel those mystical realms
Realms believed and made so real by a people old and lost
People beautiful and horrific all at the same time
So great and tall

And all that’s left is the blood stained heights of pyramids
Unkept and untouched but standing for so long
All along
Stains that raise not the heights of where my people reached
But stains of an obliteration
The grounds they shed and bled over, buried now so deep

I have gazed and pierced through mirrors delving into the deepest darkest part of my eyes
Ojos Tapatios
Ojos desde alla
Darkest, deepest brown mud that seals and protects this ancient blood
Ancient beauty
Ancient woman

Sun touched and moonlit
Here, now, today
A bright, strong leaping soul that lives and breathes remnants of ancient worlds
But speaks words of truths that have no age
And feels love, of herself, her skin, her blood
And even the men, the souls that follow her through the realms

Through my veins
Yo soy Reyna
Yo soy Princesa
Yo soy hija de mi gente
To every end
To every beginning
In every new breath of life I take
And every breath of life there after
Mi gente I emanate

When no one is looking
You pull and hold me into your arms
Into your bed
Savoring my kisses and caresses...that I usually hold back
Because its when no one is looking that I completely let go and give you all that I have
When no one is looking
You share your sweet words
Words that warm my heart, heat my chest
Words paired with touches from your fingertips that make me wet
When no one is looking I give into you
I devour and selfishly take all the bites I can
Knowing it drives you to the point you grasp my arms, flip me on my back...
And you begin to taste, bite, and drink of every sensuous sugar flavored bead of sweat
Sweet filled curves
Sangria flavored juices that seap through every pore
Through my vessel it pours
When no one is looking
We are in our own world
And even in a crowded room
The moment no one is looking
In that moment
Without even turning your way
I know you are staring
I feel your eyes embedding and digging their way into my flesh
Its a sensation that starts in my belly
Runs up my stomach, between my breast
Its the thoughts manifesting your hands clenching and pulling at my chest
All this, in the moment when no one is looking
A slight quick moment
We lock our eyes
Both lighting up
Both feeling the heat we know we will be in...later tonight
When no one is looking

Deep rooted This is,
This,…what we have,
Young and fragile,
When the roots of my being,…my self,…my soul,
Were growing,…forming,… stretching,
They touched and took hold to your stretched and growing roots,
Part of your being,…part of your soul,
Yours of a mature stage,…stronger,…heavier,…thicker,
Already able to bear and endure the roughness of the elements,
Able to sustain the weight and center of your trunk,
From the moment our roots touched,
They grasped, intertwining themselves,
Stretching and growing as if they were one,
To the naked eye, the roots would appear to be growing as one source,
With careful examination, following each strand like a maze,
They grow from their own base,…But side by side,
Inside and out the roots twist about, in the grasps of one another,
Pulling and tugging when one strand strays,
Deep rooted it began,
Deep rooted it shall remain,
This,
This,…what we have,
For unraveling the tangles of our roots would unravel a life that has grown as one,
This is what we have,
That is what This is,
A life we share together as one,
Deep rooted beginnings, prevents the roots from separating, preventing the denial of a strong love,
There is no denying the love that is there,
A love flowing through the strands of embracing roots,
There is no denying the strength that it holds true,
A true bond,
A true hold,
A true friendship that grew into much more,
Deep rooted This is,
This,…what we have.