I learned new languages
once I met you

Nothing in English
caught your essence

I tried French,
Spanish,
and Italian

Maybe the angels
who speak in tongues
could capture some-
of your beauty

But here on earth
there is no sound,
letter,
word,
or sentence
that could see your truth

Your eyes used to be so soft
so welcoming
innocent and pure

But now they are harder
different, angry
unsure

But darling when you cradle me
my head pressed to yours
the anger and fear
it's gone

I love the softness in your eyes
I love you

You got under my skin
You flow through my veins
I feel you in my finger tips
All through the thoughts in my brain

you're a good kisser
but you have a bad habit of lying to yourself

and you're the love of my life
but you can't ignore problems until they go away

you have a beautiful old soul
but I know it has been scratched, and hit, torn, and broken

and I know that when I show you this, you will deny it all.

But it's okay to want a good father
and it's okay that you want a better mother sometimes

and it's okay to admit that she hurt you

but I will not fix you.
I will not even try.
I will love you.
I love you.
I loved you for a long time.

I hate that I have nightmares about losing you. 

They’re too real and they’re too scary. 

I'd rather dream about demons

and the monster under the bed
rather than fears that lurk in the back of my head. 
So I’m sorry if I call you in the dead of night

I just need the reassuring sound of your voice
Tell me you love me and I think I’ll be alright

I didn’t fall in love

I am fall i n g in love

I cannot stop

I hope I never do

I never want to say
I fell in love
I want to keep falling
for you

I like it when you choke me 

I love when you pull my hair 

grab my wrists, pin me down

**** me, touch me there