fleeting symphonies of you speaking to me
can't help but play on repeat
over and over
a dead track that lacks expression
how could it stir my depression
rewind back the tape of you kissing on the nape of my neck
oh so tenderly
treating me as if my body could break with such fragility
whisper inside me and tell me the story of how you fell in love
with cheesy lines of "it started way back before..."
before arguments were arguments that were settled with just a smile and a kiss
before I spoke to you
and was just a loner past due of a hug and friendship
sensual-ship
love making risks
"did I *** too fast?"
"was it too quick?"
before we made a secret code
and you were told
"hey she thinks you're cute"
when the awkward silences unfold
high school love that never expired
and something about that smile
could never make you tired
and if anything drove you wild
replaying on repeat

kissing your lips was like
taking a bite of
that forbidden passion fruit
that ****** us all
I saw my future call
but I couldn't answer
now that emptiness envelopes me
I wonder
if that
sweet
rebellion
would've set
me
free

lights dimmed
only our silhouettes shown
body to body
hand in hand
you lead the way to a foreign land
body heat radiating
ice cream melting
along with our clothes
your eyes held a gateway to your soul
I inched in little by bit
in the darkness held a familiarity so dear
I couldn't help but draw near
no trespassing
caution
forbidden
in the depths of your heart
I could live in

i want to grow old with you
own three kids
two twins
several cats
in a lovely country flat

i want to feel your body heat
each night
cuddled up
while holding each other tight

i want to cook breakfast with you
only in our underwear
dancing
singing
a sight that the kids would be too embarrassed to bear

i want to walk down the aisle
and see you at the end
dressed in your finest with that cute hidden smile
knowing that it was worth it to go the extra mile

though i know what the future beholds
am i selfish for wanting to hold onto
this thought
this dream
that you're more
than what your words
and actions
appear to seem?

"can my love be enough?"
the young woman asked within
with a sigh
the universe replied,
"not always will you win."