as he sits in the pews between his alcoholism and his wrath,
I wonder if he feels more at home among those sinners
than he ever felt with me.

they say the tongue is the strongest
muscle in the human body,
but his locked jaw has wounded me more
than any weaponry he contains behind those teeth.

a phantom limb I am plagued with:
sometimes, I feel like he cares.
sometimes, I hurt at words he never speaks,
like have a safe flight,
or you have always been enough.

in church, we were taught
that the words god and father were interchangeable.
when I stopped believing in god,
I wonder if he watched his bloodline run thin.
I wonder if it ached.

I am the girl who cried apology,
and you,
the embodiment of naive forgiveness,
come running at each little distress.
one day, you’ll learn,
but until then,
just tell me it’s okay.

I can tell you’re tired
of hanging up my skeletons every night.
I’ve been growing lazy with keeping them
in their proper places,
letting them crumble into piles on the floor.
your exasperated sighs grow heavier,
but you never argue or complain,
simply cleaning up every mess I make.
I wonder when you’ll hang me up,
but until then,
we’ll pretend a little longer.

let our hands intertwine,
and we’ll ignore the difference
between love and habituation.
let me repent in your light,
and teach me how to become it.
I want to learn to be something
other than sorry.

My loss, and my gain
are one in the same.

I wouldn't have traded our time
For anything
But more.

I may be an introvert
but I am not a loner
I have just been disappointed
by too many humans
time and time again
that when any positive emotion
or vibe is obtained
by the company of another
warning sirens
scream in the back of my head
making every mental
and physical scar
ache once again

She was carnivore
and I was predator
It was just a matter
of who devoured who first
and as I nursed my wounds
I realized
she did nothing to go against
her instinct
even though I wanted her to
I could hold no animosity
as I live to face
the next adversary

Never try to dull your passions
you might just succeed.

Sometimes I get angry
that it is so easy
for me to invoke emotion
in others
yet so hard
to do so
within myself.
Then I realize
that at least I still feel something.