He said
I don’t understand
I’m so simple,
Your complicated
To you everything crosses over
All of it is interrelated.
I am into linear thinking
After this happens
This is created.
Keep lines from touching
Situations separated.
He takes a step forward
Foot hitting hot pavement
Pointing to squares of the sidewalk,
Ones split down the middle
The other shattered
An asymmetrical lace
Like pattern.
And what he really said
Was simply
“this ones you and this ones me”
But that’s what he wanted me to see.
And I saw all the situations
I had thought the exact same thing
And how to him this conversation
Probably seemed like random conversation
Without a place or destination,
He’s probably wondering
Why it would leave me sad,
Smiling and laughing because I cant explain
All the things the sidewalk means,
Describe the point where
Every crack happens to meet.
And I don’t think a single thing leads to
Any other single thing.
And to me that seems...... complicated.

Shifting words
I keep thinking
I'll find a way to say
All these things
That elude
Articulation
Sy sy syllables
Slip away
Before I have
A chance
To say
What you need
Trapped behind
An illiterate mute
Like me.
Wish I was blind
So I couldn’t watch
As you sink,
Drowning in
The violent waves
Of screaming silence.  
Can’t think anything
And as you turn away
Heart broken,
I realize noting spoken
Will compare
To the damage done
By a silent stare.

I worry that you don’t want me
Any more
I’m cast aside and crumbling
So I’m locking every door
Your castle walls cascading
Toward a dropping fading floor.
You used to take me so high
Then you would build me up some more
I was invincible
Supersonic, inconceivable
Hypnotic, unbelievable.
Inside of my walls
You said you were home.
Now deep inside I feel alone.
As I fall to ruin collapse
All my pieces hurdle to earth
Land against raw dirt and smash
Confused, astounded
And grounded at last.

At some point I became a ghost
In my own house,
Just a shadow dancing past closed doors,
hurt feelings swelling under old scars,
like a bursting seem, holding back broken dreams.
Picking the wounds off and leaving
The skeletons in the closet
Where they belong.
I would love to feel, but it’s been too long.
Old friends fall in the backdrop silently
Somehow they have become the walls.
You’re the only one who not hiding
The only friend to reach out and feel me.
The only thing encouraging breathing,
I guess most people don’t speak to ghosts
I guess most people don't see me.

I wonder how bright my tears shimmered
Refracting your flickering light,
I wonder what thoughts had filtered,
Through your changing mind that night.
Your smile builds me upright,
Until it quivers and I fall
To pieces under nightlights
Until morning sooths and calms.
But nothing feels quite as right
As crying in your arms,
While laughing at our fears
Pretending nothings wrong,
Pretending that you would stay forever,
Until the day you’ve gone.
Every night without your light
Just seems to dark and long.

I wonder how you see me
Through your long lashed eyes,
Closed ones, open ones, dark ones,
Slanted ones I wonder how
You see me under your own light.
I probably look a little fragile
Like porcelain before the kiln,
Like maybe I have never known a thing about
Whatever it is you think living means,
I’ve watched glass brake,
Under the hand of my drunk father,
I hate Christmas, and not because
No God exist either,
I just hate being sad over earthly things,
Hell on earth.. Christmas same **** thing.
If money is power than I’ve never been anything.
I’ve been stolen.
You don’t even know what that means.
That’s ok because when it gets down to
It you don’t know much of anything.
Whatever you are viewing,
Unless you ask you have no idea how
I’m just too **** human.
You haven’t understood a single fiber of my being,
Optimism and naivety, seem to me to be,
To similar in making and
Each as tragic in there breaking,
Even if you looking and I’m speaking,
In bits and pieces
On a page like puzzle pieces,
There’s a lot I’ve left unsaid,
Everyone’s blind you’re
Never going to see me,
Unless you reach out to feel me.
Then you’ll know I’ve been burned
Have vitrified and
Don’t give a **** what you've seen with those pretty eyes.
I made me a perfect version of myself,
I’m someone’s favorite vase ,
And I look gorgeous on the shelf

Nothing taunts me like the unsaid.
Nothing stops me like an ache in my chest
And an empty page,
Builds frustration
Up to the cliff and
Tips it into blind rage.
Irritating , irritating…
I keep thinking when  I’m older I will know something.
All I know is I am wrong  
Same song they were singing when I was
Small enough and swinging,
Face feeling the wind,
Thinking I’d never see a face again,
Not a single one I cared to
You said I‘d never see you.
Promises all fell through
The fragile surface constructed
Of your BOLD face lies.
I hate you, I hate you…
But you must have always known that.
Because nothing taunts me like the unsaid,
And lets face it
you never said enough.