She is the sun which brings out the flowers.
I'm the black hole which light I devour.
So similar yet so different.
You, the creator of happiness and smiles.
Me, that destroys everything within miles.
You're the creator of planets and I the destroyer.
The gaps in the universe act as a border.
Never destined to meet.
For if we do cross paths your light would deplete.
So stay away my little sun, we were never meant to be.
I don't want you to become like me.
A dead star that use to shine like the sun.
But alas,
Our journey has ended before its begun.

Cut away my feelings
Anesthetize my mind
Let me jump off of this ledge
And leave this all behind

From day one
You said I couldn't do anything right
You beat me down with words and punches.
Bruised my skin, my mind, my heart. You ******* *******.
You ruined me.
Now look at what I've become.

Welcome to the darkness.
Welcome to the pain.
Welcome to the agony.
Welcome to my brain.

You said you'd always be there,
But you never were!
You said you'd make the pain stop! But you drove the knife deeper.
You said you love me.
You said you cared.
But now I'm here sitting alone.
All alone and scared.

I just wanna rip my ******* heart out.
Blow my brains against the wall.
Slice my veins too deep.
Step off the ledge and fall.

You never ******* cared.
None of you.
I'm all alone and scared.
Just please.
Let.
Me.
Go....

I feel empty inside
Full of nothing but darkness
Vast, cold, darkness.
Go for miles and all you will find is sadness.
An ocean of sadness.
Im swimming
trying to keep my head above
gasping for air,
yet all i inhale is water.
i scream
but my lungs release no sound,
just silence.
Im slowly drowning,
drowning in the ocean inside.

They know about my problems,
Say that it doesn't matter.
Say that they love me an will never think otherwise.
They get close.
Closer and closer.
Then they say it,
Those ******* words.
"I love you."
Those words that can tame a barbarian.
The words that can calm the storming seas.
Words of trust, acceptance, care...
"The scars don't matter. They make you beautiful"
"I'll never hurt you."
Minutes, hours, days, weeks, months.
It doesn't take long to get sick of me.
That promise. Turns into a lie.
That love turns into hate.
Then I end up alone.
Then I take the cold blade to the skin.
The next day a nice person notices.
We start to talk.
I tell them my problems.
They help me through them.
They know all my problems.
*rinse, repeat.

Every now and then I catch myself thinking about her. She was the light of my life. And now she calls me bro and acts like nothing ever happened between us... It is the most painful thing I have experienced. I want to see her but I also don't. She betrayed my trust. But I forgave her instantly because I understood why she did it. I mean look at me, I'm just surprised she stayed with me as long as she did. I just don't want to lose her. That love, that happiness, that acceptance.... I just want her back.  But that's not going to happen now is it. Because I'm me and who wants to be with me. I hate myself. And I'm pretty sure everybody else hates me too. I'm afraid of everything. I guess that's why I'm alone now. People say I'm not alone. But I really am. I'm too afraid to go outside. At school I'm always thinking these kids are going to make fun of me. Stop looking at me. What is wrong with me. Don't touch me. Is there something on my face. Don't talk to me..  I just want to be left alone because I know that I'll just end up getting hurt again.  Whenever my friend is depressed, or thy are harming themselves. I always tell them to stop, to find another way. People try and do the same with me. I'm in the same situation. But I deny ever getting better. Because I know that happiness is a lie. Because I know that others can be. But I can never see myself being happy. Because in my life. It's just one...big..lie..