Your mind has begun to wander
     without me
For time has trespassed on your memory
     as time does
And anything you once were
     or I once was
Is locked away
Buried and hidden
And if we are forbidden
To ever go back
Will you be willing?
To search for some crack
In Reality's stone wall
Return with me
To the place before the Fall.

Before blank eyes stare
Into my heart laid bare
And "she'll be back again.."
Erodes me like acid rain
Because I'm right here
Before minor arthritis turns to paralysis of the mind
And renders us defined
By the ruthless laws of nature
While truth less words of decay
Force us to obey.

If only I could turn back the greying of your head,
     (Or if you could return with me to bed)
If the words of the Doctorhad never been said
I could rewire the rusted cables of your brain
And travel with you on this train
     of thought
Or is it selfish that I would feel pain?
Because you are losing our memories
But I am losing what is Mine.
Because I know you are blind
     (You must be)
When you say you can't find
Me, our love - my love -
Try to remember!

We stood facing each other
Hearts racing together
Hopes and dreams intertwined
Like our hands
Fingers tingling with glorious plans
As you whispered
"I'm right here"
Setting the world right
Softly, in my ear.

Do not fear what you cannot see
Dimmer eyes distinguish light
When brightness is not so bright.
So get back down on your knee
We won't drown if you cling to me
Though now relentless tides pull us apart
And thick fog hides the rythm of my heart.

How can I ask you?
     not to forget
My face wet with regret
That I didn't kiss you
     enough
God, I miss you
How can I tell you?
I'm right here
As I watch you disappear.

The current pushes me along to endless                  
nowhere.
And I don't know where
I'll be
When someone reaches out to catch me
I long to get out - feel solid ground beneath my feet
But I am pulled inevitably, (unwillingly?)
To one broken heart,
and then another.
With nothing left to offer
but my soul, my spirit.
And I give it. (why not?)
And then dragged along with the current - it seems
My life is
eroding, disintegrating,
dissolving all of me
As I am swept away
Again.

Growing old
Quietly bold
Decidedly confused
Legacy infused
Ready to hold back
Cling to letting go
Steadily changing
Afraid of wasting
Wishing and wanting
Tired of trying
No fear in dying
Cutting loose
Floating adrift
Life is a journey -
This spirit
My ship.

It really is philosophical
This bench by the bus stop
It's wooden planks fading to gray
Solitary in all its nostalgic glory
Ageless and
Uncomfortable in a familiar way
And I knew it wouldn't last,
I knew you couldn't stay.

But I do.
Because I share a room
With an emotional Middle Schooler
Almost as emotional as I
am, figuring out how to bloom
In a world that discards
Real flowers
Because the fake ones look nicer, last longer
But they don't remind me
of dreamy afternoons
on the bench with Yellow roses in my lap
- which you did not buy me - not that
it matters
cause we would argue
for as long as we needed
to determine happiness and colors
(and discuss how to pacify our mothers)

Because they say "Real flowers are not perfect"
I think
That's what makes them worth it
And I remember...
a stormy night
when it poured inside
and I went out into the dark
to escape the light, with you
as we shivered on the bench and
cleaned out the basements of our souls,
organized the attics of our minds.

And now I sit on the bench, with you
And we wonder
At the agony of believing that
Real flowers might be valued
If dreams were worth chasing
And love didn't cost quite so much.
Cause I can't afford
To hope for
Real flowers
But I can't bear
Not to.