The beginning was the hardest.
The beginning never faded.

The beginning was an annoyance.
It left me irritated.

Frustration was present.
And so were my fears.

Seeing past my problems.
Didn't seem very clear.

And through the darkness of the light.
I'll speak on all the things I did right.

You say I'm wrong.
Seems so typical.

But you're just not seeing me.
You're not seeing the visual.

We can follow our present.
Or we can follow our past.

But the hardest question is,
Which one will last?

Young little face.
Lost in the world.

Young little heart.
Waiting to be crushed.

Young little smile.
Waiting to be frowned upon.

Young little person.
With the world turned against him.

For the sickest nights.
Commence on the sickest days.

And the gloomy dark nights.
Consist of nothing but rain.

And the world is filled with nothing to gain.
And the only thoughts are kept away in your brain.

And the thoughts I have make me happy.
And they keep my young self sane.

I'm like a candle.
I am too much to handle.

Fire flames surround my face.
I fall and burn down the place.

The place comes crashing down.
Fire frenzy throughout the town.

Firefighters come to the hurry.
But quickly leave due to the furry.

Flames spread faster than a speeding train.
Nothing left but a ferocious fire flame.

Dust falls crying over the city.
Nothing left but ash and pity.

And I try to listen to what others say.
I sit in silence and pray.
That my own mind will be content and stay.
Without my own mind burning away.

And God forbid my mind burst and become hard to handle.
For I am nothing more than a lit wax candle.

I'm not the best.
I'm like the rest.

I take a single final breath.
I inhale and exhale hell that's held within.

Try, I try to not let them win.
But they push so strong.
I'm always wrong.

So they say that I'm a pointless object.
They say that I'm just a project of.
Something that needed to be discovered.

Stuck in the dirt, dug up.
And uncovered.

Something special like a diamond.
Something rare like a four leaf clover.
Something that I should have told her.
Times passing, I'm getting older.
The rigid air is freezing, temperature gets much colder.

But then I remember that I'm not the best.
I'm like the rest.

I play the same games.
I do the same things.
I go to the same places.
But the places me nothing to me.

But I remember.
Time and time again.

I'm like the rest
I'm not the best.

Pretending is only pointless.
Society pushes for you and I to conform.
Unfamiliar faces began to swarm.

They swarm around the most average of them all.
They adapt and collect and knock down all the walls.

Society revolts throughout the air.
All I get are average, blank gazing stares.

I began to feel a presence all around.
When people begin to notice around the town.
All the people do is just tear me down.

And again.
I ask myself.
Why am I like the rest?
Then I remember it once again.
I am not the best.

The pain I feel is horrid.
The rain outside is pouring.

The drops of water echo down the hallways.
Outside is damp, cold and stormy.

The pain of the rain will drain me.
The pain of my heart will make me insane.

The choice is yours.
Take it or leave it.

Take the moment right now.
Live it and seize it.

The dreams you have.
Fill an empty mind.

And empty thoughts do not determine untold secrets and white lies.

So promise that you will show some sort of respect.
Don't make another cry.

Cold to the touch.
And a sigh of relief.

Broken branches fall.
In the air float the leaves.

The perfect way.
To a semi-perfect day.

Force me to feel.
During times I can't heal.

Not given the time to mend.
To frantic to comprehend.

And though you wouldn't understand.
You don't feel what I feel of course.

All I feel is pain.
And all I feel is resentful remorse.

Broken glass spread around like a tornado came through.
A life is not perfect when my life is without you.

The broken glass pieces are hard to piece together.
Sharp edged, dense and light as a feather.
The tornado comes through with very disastrous weather.

I don’t know whether or not.
To stop the clock.

And freeze time.
Or let the time keep going.

Living life in the meantime.
Living life without knowing.

Say life will get better, but the tornadoes keep showing.
They keep coming and I start to run.

The life I live is one I would give if I could get a life with a bit more fun.
But I stay weary of tomorrow and I stay eager for the sun.

The sun will come out tomorrow and start another new day.
One hopefully full of potential in every single way.

As I look out into the distance, the tornado starts to fly across the distant plains.
The earth shakes and it starts to rain.

Earthquakes shake the ground and root up trees.
I would try to stop all the disaster, but the Earth is literally killing me.

Real people inside.
Real people have lives.

You chose to avoid what you fear.
Results have been proven clear.

Tell me to wait for you next year.
But I know your journey isn’t near.

Wash away the pain with an attitude that’s mundane.
Wash away my attitude when they mention your name.

Feelings of us together were mutual.
Now I feel unusual.

Coffee every morning; watching the morning news.
Never thought that I would ever lose you.

Promises of never using you.
You were used too much.

Will you come back to me?
Who am I to trust?

Try to resolve but resolutions never happen.
Our problems seem ever so saddening.

Joy is in the air, but I never seem to know.
I sit and wait for the day you come back to show.

Demand of respect.
A demand on its own.

Only needed when they ask.
No one there when you’re alone.

Prevent many mistakes.
Choose what to keep and what to take.

Take away what you can.
Asking for a better plan.

I plan to make better friends.
Ones that make life great again.

Nothing worse than someone uninteresting.
Always putting your feelings up for testing.

Break you apart and watch you shatter.
Acting like your well-being doesn’t even matter.

Twisted words and hurtful remarks.
Should you even take the chance to embark?

Why try when you have tried too much?
Trying to see them, but they never stay in touch.

Two faced people with double standards.
Only after things that they are reaching towards.

Would they ever ask about you and your goals?
Would they ever help you at your all time low?
Would they spare a moment to get to know?
Would they know what to ask and what to say?
Would they ever ask if you were okay?

Starting to feel frustrated.
Tired of friends that seem so outdated.

Finding friends that matter is an endeavoring task.
Will you find a friend that will truly care?
That is the hardest question to ask.

Hidden stories.
Told at night.

Waking moments.
Morning light.

Silly girls.
And silly boys.

Young at heart.
They play with toys.



Mothers drunk.
And daddies dead.

Don't ever know.
What lies ahead.

And the wind moves in coming in and out.
Cutting off the sinister sound.

You're on the ground.
You'll be dead.
Wasting your life at what's ahead.

You don't know.
The full story.

You read the front and the back.
The book seems so boring.

But you don't know.
The full story.

You don't know what lies ahead.
Rather be at home laying on your death bed.

But you sneak around.
This very particular hallway.

Under the bridge.
At that same parkway.

But you don't know.
Where your sister stays.

Sisters out late.
Smoking *** in someone's driveway.

Why do things,
Things have to be this way?

Why does your life always have to,
Always stay the same?

Wish that my life,
My life would be sane.

Drunken mom on the road,
Drunk driver is switching lanes.

And sometimes my life,
Feels like It's always plain.

When the nights are boring,
The nights consist of pouring rain.

Wish dad were here.
I wish he were here to wash away all the pain.

But he's not.
He'll never be.

Nothing even left for him to gain.

I'm indecisive.
On whether or not I should write this.

Could I fight it?
Could I change?

All our plans.
All arranged.

You're deranged.
And I'm scared.

You seem to call.
When you seem to care.

You say you listen.
You say you hear.

But are you here,
When I wipe away my tears?

And all the years that have flown by.
When you used to see me.

And I'm blinded now.
Hard to see what I want to be.

And I miss the way you used to be.
And I miss the old you.

I miss all the times.
All the times I would think things through.

Walking down this lonely path.
In my heart I feel a lonely wrath.

A pain I have never felt inside.
When you're not here by my side.

But I need you.
And though I try.

Though I try to make things right.
You say that I'm always wrong.
We always seem to fight.

Though tonight.
I hope to see you.

And if you don't show.
I will show all who care
All who care to know.

How I feel.
Feel inside.

Feeling down.
Broken pride.

Sorry that I wasn't the best.
Sorry that I always lied.

I never seemed to care.
I never seemed to be there.

And now I'm scared.
I'm somewhere out here stranded.

I wish I could say I had things planned.
Though I never planned this.

And I always say I'm there.
Always there close to you.

Hoping that you miss me.
Are you hoping that I miss you too?

Ripped out.
Broken heart.
Hard to fix.
It's torn into two.

Hoping I get to see.
See a day.
A day spent with you.

And it is hard to say.
And it is hard to write this.

But I miss you.
And only you.

I'm sorry I'm indecisive.