Tatiana

Tatiana Aug 2013

There is too much tension
in the place where I reside,
to the point where I want to leave
the only home I have ever known.
This house is not a home right now,
it's becoming unhealthy
and I can feel it.
The drugs she used caused it,
and I am no longer comfortable around her.
She made our parents sick with worry and anger,
and I no longer know who she is anymore.
This house is not a home,
it's a place I never wanted to be at,
and when you want to leave home,
you don't know where you would go.
All you know,
is that you don't want to be
at the place you once called home.

Tatiana Aug 2013

She Chose

Running down the hall,
with the threat on my back.
Hoping to make it safety,
because safety is what I lack.

Sitting in a room,
and everything is dark,
as I listen to the argument down the hall
that all started with a spark.

A spark of something induced by drugs
and a low life loser.
That she got caught up in,
and it's not like we can't accuse her.

She took part as much as she could
in the induced high.
But now it all came crashing down,
when she was forced to say goodbye.

Say goodbye to the loser,
who drags her life down.
He'll lead her down a path of regret,
and she will certainly drown.

The explosion of anger and fear,
has not gotten through to her yet.
And I fear that she will hurt herself,
more than we'll ever expect.

I never ever thought before in my life,
that I would want to leave home.
But nothing could push me out of the house faster,
than the addicted life she chose.

Tatiana Aug 2013

Dear Diary

Dear diary,
can you help me,
reveal myself slowly.

Dear diary,
can I write on you,
words left unspoken.

Dear diary,
can I make plans,
with your paper as my blueprints.

Dear diary,
can I use you,
to help the me deep inside.

Dear diary,
i'm glad I have you,
who knows where i'd be without you.

Dear diary,
you know my biggest secrets,
and my darkest fears.

Dear diary,
I know you won't betray me,
like the enemies I have.

Dear diary,
thank you for being there,
when there was no one else.

Dear diary,
thank you for letting me,
make my mark on you.

Dear diary,
*thank you.

Tatiana Aug 2013

It Does Get Better

It does get better.
I used to never believe those words,
because they were just words
and there was no action backing them up.

It does get better.
After months and months
of the world crashing on my shoulders,
I learned how to carrry it.

It does get better
Even though the world can be
so dark and cold sometimes,
there is light somewhere.

It does get better
The light starts inside you,
and once you find it,
you can move on and spread your light.

Everyone who is suffering,
just remember your light inside,
and remember that,
It does get better

Ironically, I wrote a poem several months back talking about how it just doesn't get better. But recently I learned how to carry the weight on my shoulders, and I learned that all that weight shouldn't stop me from being me. I'm not ignorant of
my problems, I have just grown strong enough to handle them and try to solve
them.
I hope everyone else who is suffering, whether in silence or not, can find their light
and shine once again.

Tatiana Aug 2013

Save One Life

My passion
has been re-awakened
from it's dark slumber.
It now lives,
and breathes,
with the flame it once held.
The spirit is stronger,
kinder,
and more secure.
It remembers who it wants to be,
what it wants to do,
and the the drive it will need to get there.
It's all coming back,
like a rush of adrenaline
it shoots through my veins endlessly.
This restoration
of my passion,
makes me remember
one of my goals.
The goal that originally drove me
towards the path I am now taking,
Save one life.
Has been my goal
for a long time now,
and it is an endless goal for me,
one that I will strive to complete,
over and over again,
on the path into medicine,
that I lead.

I have a passion for medicine. I either want to be a pediatrician, or a paramedic. I just have this strong passion that was shot down by myself not too long ago, but an incident happened that made me realize how much what I love and what I want to be, is truly worth it in the end. All my hard work will pay off, and then I can strive for my ultimate, endless goal, to save one life.

Tatiana Jul 2013

Grey

My mother came to me today
And asked why my favorite color is grey.

I said to her, it's not my favorite color
It just seems to suit me like no other.

She thought I just meant how it looked
But it has to do with how I am hooked.

Hooked on this feeling
Thats a mix between everything.

I don't believe it's all black and white
Grey seems to be the area I am stuck in tight.

I was a master at keeping my feelings at bay
Was is the key word today.

Now I am showing too much too soon
Is a year of hiding finaly making me swoon.

Well isn't this world so dull and bleak
I can't seem to find what it is I seek.

How much longer can I hide the way
That everything I see is grey.

Tatiana Jul 2013

Forget Everything And Run

Forget
Everything
And
Run.

Let fear take control of your emotions.

Forget
Everyone
And
Run.

Let fear make you blind to others.

Forever
Escape
A
Reality.

Let fear make you escape from Reality.

Forgive
Everything
And
Reach.

Forget fear, reach out for help.

Fly
Everywhere
And
Rise.

Fear can't control you, you can rise from it.

But yet,
you could still,
Forget
Everything
And
Run.