I see you and my heart stops.
You are cold as ice
And you think you're that smooth.
You freeze me
And frostbite plagues my extremities.

My panic attack goes something like
Loneliness in a crowded room
Shivering when I'm burning up
Dizziness when I'm sober
Nausea on an empty stomach.

It's the feeling of wonder.
Looking off the edge and thinking
"What if?
Considering the plunge.

My paper skin feels as if it is tearing
And my glass bones are breaking.
My porcelain nails want to scratch
Rip me out of my body
So I don't feel this way.
So I don't feel at all.

How did I let this happen?
I shut myself down
And this is all I have left.

The smog in my lungs
The blade in my grasp
The bottle on the floor
The finger in my throat.

They keep me numb to your glare.
They are an effort to make sure
That I continue to lose feeling in my soul.

You become a memory
Grounded in the past
Banned from the future

You become a scar
A painful echo
Forever embedded in their skin

You become a ghost
Haunted by their words
You are what once was

You become a stranger
Because the world is ever-changing
And time separates us.

Taking a moment to breathe
Reminding myself
Of the reason
I have strength
I will not break
Even though it's late
And my heart is bruised
Damaged and used
And left by you
To rot and die
Left myself asking why
Why am I more dead
Than alive?
You left a hole
I can't fill
I can never be whole
You have my soul
Wish I gave it to the devil
At least he'd use it well
Unlike you, my dear
You left me in fear
Of love and life
I am dead inside
My feelings collide
And I lose my grip
I let my dignity slip
Into the cracks
Of sadness
You saved me
But left me
Feeling
Even more
Alone and empty
Than I was before
Before you entered
That faulty door
Now I feel despair
The love is here
But you aren't near

The path of life slowly siphons me of my dreams,
like a child ripped of innocents.

Set with false expectations.
lead into the dark with no light.
Guided by stories of those who made it.

Alone in the dark i am.
fearing my surroundings.
following the imprints of the past comers

One institution at time,
I follow.

I follow for the ones who cannot travel this path,
I follow for the ones who have failed on this path,
I follow to leave additional tracks.

As i get closer to the end of this vast darkness,
the path begins to thin until there is nothing but a sliver to guide me.
Fear fills me.

I am lost.
waiting to be found.

I do hate my life,
But I would not die for hate,
Sometimes you think about the nothingness
Without worry and pain,
But sometimes giving up is not the only disclosure,

Thinking about the future is what keeps me going,
Because that's what I can control,
I want great things in my existence,
So I do not die for hate,

Why lose my life,
Because humanity makes it so ******* hard to live,
I will not be this person forever,
Yet no person will ever be,
So why waste this,
I could end it and descend into the vast darkness of nothingness,
But I keep going for the magnitude of my dream that I dearly crave.

Killing my hate with my dreams,
I fight for another day.

I would not die for hate.

Frozen over lakes
Rosy cheeks ache for the warmth,
Winter has arrived.

Hot sand as I walk
As I smell the foreign air
The sea thirsts for me.

On this unclothed path,
Lovers’ palms lock as leaves fall,
All stops, lips caress.