I wore you like a bruise
like a patch of honor
I showed you off to
anyone that'd look
I'd tell stories about you
to everyone who'd listen
But bruises are bad things
they're marks of injury
I shouldn't take pride
in them
or you
I should hide them
hide you
They all said it
I just couldn't bare
to hear that you weren't
everything I thought you were
I wore you like a bruise
something that shouldn't be there
but is, because I made a mistake
and now, like bruises
always do
you're fading from me
and like bruises
I'm better off without you.

She smokes,
Pall Mall Menthols
She smokes and she drinks
and she swears
She puts on a cool face
handles conversation well
She's hilarious and clumsy
and easily entertained
She's graceful sometimes
but more often not
She's into finances
business proposals
and spreadsheets
She's smart, but
She's lazy
that's something
She's working on
She's trying to
live more in the present
but keep the future
in mind
She wears jeans
and t-shirts
baggy sweaters
and slouchy hats
She wears glasses
but only if
She has to
She liked to use
her nails
She arches her back
and gasps and makes
just the tiniest of moans
when touched just right
She has posture problems
She'll grab her shoulders
and forcibly drag them back
She writes poems
something she doesn't
take too much pride in
She's flawed and flawless
and the best thing about her?
She's mine.

There’s so much wrong with me
That it’s frightening
The way my hips curve out too far
Or how swollen my bottom lip seems
There’s so many small things
To panic about
To fear
To prevent
To accept
There’s so much wrong with me
That there are days when I
Can’t see what’s right
The way my waist tapers in
The way my eyes light up
When I smile
There are days when all that
Is hidden from me
I’m drowning in disappointment
Why can’t I look like she does?
I’m weighed down
My imperfect body
Can barely move under
This heavy head
Full of reasons
Why I’ll never be perfect
There are days when all of this
Is too much.
But there are days
When my flaws are merely
A feather on my shoulder
When my hair cascades just right
When my hips aren't big
Just lovely
When I look in the mirror
And all I see is gorgeous
Staring back at me
When my feet needn't touch
The earth
For I’m weightless.

I want to die
In the morning
With the new sun
Shining on my face
I want to die
In the morning
When possibilities bloom
Like roses around me
I want my last breath
To be crisp, early breeze
I want my last sight
To be the dawn of
My final day
I want the fresh dew
To greet my face
When my time
Is gone
I want to go early
To feel the road
In front of me
Stretch as far as
I can see
And to watch
That road curve
As I fade away

Isn't it great to live in a land
Where your freedoms stretch
As far as the fields?
This land where my heart belongs
To the earth and sky
Where my breath catches
Just from watching the sunset
With its wind that breathes life
Into my tired lungs
After a long day, to just drive
On this earth, in this country
Where the land takes care of the people
And the people share the fruits of
Their labors with each other
There’s a Midwestern spirit
That I can feel in my soul
It moves my bones and drives me on
Knowing that I live in this beauty
Among this endless sky
And this soulful earth
I take such comfort in it,
Isn't it wonderful to live
In this land?

You make me feel dizzy
like when I've had one too many
way too fast
you unsettle me
but I always feel secure
in your arms
you make me dizzy
in a giddy, bubbly way
you put me on a high
and I can't come down
you're everything
I ever wanted
You are all
all I need
all I want
but what are we?
I can feel your hesitation
is the risk worth it?
I can feel my own worries
alongside yours
it's like our insecurities
are meant to be together
almost like we are
at least we are in
my head
when I imagine us together
oh god,
it's perfect
everything is perfect
there aren't any flaws you have
that I can't take
and I'm not perfect,
but you take me as I am
just imagining it
makes my head spin
you make me dizzy,
and I kind of love it.

you make me nervous
in that good, deep down
always wanting more
never let me go way
you are my best friend
you've brought me through
so much, I owe you my success
but I want you
that's the thing
I want you so badly
but I'm afraid
I'm not sure if you feel
the same way
last night you put
your arms around me
your hand on the back of my neck
my hands touching your
strong arms
it was everything I ever wanted
but it was less than I needed
I want you
not just friends who cuddle
not just two people who touch
I want you
in that heady, uncontrollable way
that curls my toes when
you touch my shoulder
it's killing me
I want you to stop
I want to stop
but I don't know if
I can take not feeling your
heartbeat against me
I want you
but you make me nervous