I wore you like a bruise
like a patch of honor
I showed you off to
anyone that'd look
I'd tell stories about you
to everyone who'd listen
But bruises are bad things
they're marks of injury
I shouldn't take pride
in them
or you
I should hide them
hide you
They all said it
I just couldn't bare
to hear that you weren't
everything I thought you were
I wore you like a bruise
something that shouldn't be there
but is, because I made a mistake
and now, like bruises
always do
you're fading from me
and like bruises
I'm better off without you.

She smokes,
Pall Mall Menthols
She smokes and she drinks
and she swears
She puts on a cool face
handles conversation well
She's hilarious and clumsy
and easily entertained
She's graceful sometimes
but more often not
She's into finances
business proposals
and spreadsheets
She's smart, but
She's lazy
that's something
She's working on
She's trying to
live more in the present
but keep the future
in mind
She wears jeans
and t-shirts
baggy sweaters
and slouchy hats
She wears glasses
but only if
She has to
She liked to use
her nails
She arches her back
and gasps and makes
just the tiniest of moans
when touched just right
She has posture problems
She'll grab her shoulders
and forcibly drag them back
She writes poems
something she doesn't
take too much pride in
She's flawed and flawless
and the best thing about her?
She's mine.

There’s so much wrong with me
That it’s frightening
The way my hips curve out too far
Or how swollen my bottom lip seems
There’s so many small things
To panic about
To fear
To prevent
To accept
There’s so much wrong with me
That there are days when I
Can’t see what’s right
The way my waist tapers in
The way my eyes light up
When I smile
There are days when all that
Is hidden from me
I’m drowning in disappointment
Why can’t I look like she does?
I’m weighed down
My imperfect body
Can barely move under
This heavy head
Full of reasons
Why I’ll never be perfect
There are days when all of this
Is too much.
But there are days
When my flaws are merely
A feather on my shoulder
When my hair cascades just right
When my hips aren't big
Just lovely
When I look in the mirror
And all I see is gorgeous
Staring back at me
When my feet needn't touch
The earth
For I’m weightless.

I want to die
In the morning
With the new sun
Shining on my face
I want to die
In the morning
When possibilities bloom
Like roses around me
I want my last breath
To be crisp, early breeze
I want my last sight
To be the dawn of
My final day
I want the fresh dew
To greet my face
When my time
Is gone
I want to go early
To feel the road
In front of me
Stretch as far as
I can see
And to watch
That road curve
As I fade away

Isn't it great to live in a land
Where your freedoms stretch
As far as the fields?
This land where my heart belongs
To the earth and sky
Where my breath catches
Just from watching the sunset
With its wind that breathes life
Into my tired lungs
After a long day, to just drive
On this earth, in this country
Where the land takes care of the people
And the people share the fruits of
Their labors with each other
There’s a Midwestern spirit
That I can feel in my soul
It moves my bones and drives me on
Knowing that I live in this beauty
Among this endless sky
And this soulful earth
I take such comfort in it,
Isn't it wonderful to live
In this land?

You make me feel dizzy
like when I've had one too many
way too fast
you unsettle me
but I always feel secure
in your arms
you make me dizzy
in a giddy, bubbly way
you put me on a high
and I can't come down
you're everything
I ever wanted
You are all
all I need
all I want
but what are we?
I can feel your hesitation
is the risk worth it?
I can feel my own worries
alongside yours
it's like our insecurities
are meant to be together
almost like we are
at least we are in
my head
when I imagine us together
oh god,
it's perfect
everything is perfect
there aren't any flaws you have
that I can't take
and I'm not perfect,
but you take me as I am
just imagining it
makes my head spin
you make me dizzy,
and I kind of love it.

you make me nervous
in that good, deep down
always wanting more
never let me go way
you are my best friend
you've brought me through
so much, I owe you my success
but I want you
that's the thing
I want you so badly
but I'm afraid
I'm not sure if you feel
the same way
last night you put
your arms around me
your hand on the back of my neck
my hands touching your
strong arms
it was everything I ever wanted
but it was less than I needed
I want you
not just friends who cuddle
not just two people who touch
I want you
in that heady, uncontrollable way
that curls my toes when
you touch my shoulder
it's killing me
I want you to stop
I want to stop
but I don't know if
I can take not feeling your
heartbeat against me
I want you
but you make me nervous

I'm attracted to men who do things
the hippie health nut rock climbers
the con-going, larping nerds
the artsy poetry writing, painters
I'm attracted to results,
to getting up off the couch and going
to hikers, and bikers, to MMA fighters
these are the men that I want
The men who get up in the morning
with a purpose
the men who know where they're going
and why they're doing what they do
The men with mettle, with strength, with power
I want a man who takes control
Who's not afraid to spend an evening
away from me
If we have differing interests
He won't give up what he loves
for any woman
I'm turned on by men
with steel in their bones
With iron in their hearts
who don't take their hits lying down
To men with hobbies with talent
with ideas and dreams
that they're making happen
not just pondering
I hate talk
The muscles built for sight's sake
aren't worth a **** thing to me
I need skills, a brain with the bulk
I want a man who rarely rests
who never stagnates
who can take me out to do something new
I'm attracted to men who do things

The chill of the cafe
wraps around my arms
a shawl to keep the warm at bay
my reflection in the window
Glances up at me once again
she's pretty, this window girl
with legs that are slim
hair that shines a pretty blonde
there's a hole in her chest though
where the light doesn't bounce
an emptiness in her torso
where the landscape goes in
and the girl fades out
this blend, this meshing of
flawed human and
perfect nature
it blurs the imperfections
the spots on her skin
the lackluster lips
all disappear in the
glow of the cafe window
she's perfect, this mirror girl
with streetlamps and
tree trunks in her chest
filling the spaces where
the lonely would go
where heartache would stay
where sadness would dwell

what I need is a pause
some time alone, to just myself
just a while to be the only soul
in a room, in a building, on my won
I'm surrounded, almost constantly
because I surround myself
if I'm alone, I'm lonely
I'm woefully ill-prepared
for having no one to talk to
when I have nothing to say
I need to be alone for once
but when I am, I give in
to the coldness, the freedom
the acknowledge no one because
No one's there
I'll invite people over,
we'll have a blast, I'm sure
but when they leave
I'm always left lonely once more
lonely is different than being alone
lonely is feeling nobody there
lonely is knowing someone could join you
lonely is not calling them anyway
alone is a fullness, being filled to the brim
alone is being the only you inside your head
alone is a comfort, a closeness a joy

words that mean nothing
said in haste
in poor taste
are quick to pain
but are in vain
they linger not

but as time passes
and life's scars
are all carved
onto the soul
telling tales untold
those words sting

a facade of happy
a mask for the hurt
what's the harm in alittle dirt?
there's a power
that harsh words can't sour
the joy of a compliment

a kind phrase
something said quick
does the trick
a simple nice hair
said without care
can heal any insult

Maybe I'm right
Maybe you are
Maybe I'm meant
To be something more
I've got potential
Of that you're sure
You've got my attention
Let's even out the score

Though ideas hopes and
Suggestions are all you've got
I need a plan, some action
The words don't work
These hopes won't happen
Take a step with me
Down this road with traction
It's better than all the what-ifs in dreamland

A tap of reality
Perhaps you'll understand
The gift of reason
Is the best in the land
So yes, I'm harsh
But so is failure
And I refuse to let you fall so far
So forgive me my dear
For saying look before you leap
Because the ledge is high
And rather steep.

Honesty is not my virtue
but lying is my friend.
Whenever I say something untrue
my troubles are at an end.
Other people spread the truth
trying to be good
but lying is a game for youth
in every neighborhood

My true dear friend lies
why are you so good to me?
You are the strongest rope that ties
my problems up for free

Dearest pal lies you help me out
a blank face is all I need.
to push away the other's doubt
of the stories that I weave.

There's a great beauty in lying
such work to know all the words
to say to send me up and flying
in the air with all the birds.

Lies, you're just the truth well told
you light in me such a fire
the lies I spin will never unfold
a good person's just a bad liar.

Sweet fall,
you turn overbearing heat
into winter's call
such an amazing feat
showing such power
you change the hues
by the hour
you bring sad news
of cold and dark
days coming near
yet winter's bark
doesn't sound when you're here
gorgeous season
why can't you stay?
I abandon all reason
when you've gone away
the grass remains green
but the leaves bloom
in colors, such a scene
it distracts from the gloom
I love this chill
the wind whipping past
fall's such a thrill
why can't this season last?
beauty's fading quick
goodbye wondrous fall
in one clock's tick
barren trees so tall
winter's here for now
then comes summer and spring
autumn gives it's final bow
and flies south on huge wings.

Today's the day, my son my boy!
You're going places filled with joy,
With a spring in your step, a sack on your back
With the knowledge you've gained, the experience you lack.
You see young lad, the world's at your feet
There's nothing to fear as you strut down the street!
You're out of my control young man you're free,
Free from my power, from my authority
You make your own choices, you take your own falls
You'll stand after each one, you race down those halls!
Don't be scared my chap, keep a stiff upper lip
Just think of this as a forever long trip!
You'll come back of course to visit, not long
You'll come back a man, you'll come back strong.
Don't forget now dear son to call your mother
Don't forget your sweet sister, you're her only brother.
In a blink my boy this will all be done
You'll be gone far away, oh my beloved son!
I'll miss you so much, and you'll miss me too
I remember you small walking in my too-large shoes.
I know we've had trials, fights, ups and downs
But know you're the very best son around
Always, please always remember this clue
That forever and always your father loves you.

The walls
sing blue
the floors
scream orange
but in a
quiet subtle
kind of way

The bed creaks
with the window
they seem to converse
as you shift in your slumber
the way the wind
whistles past
a lullaby for dreams

The paintings talk shop
comparing, contrasting
the florals feel superior
the landscape's bored
the portrait stares out
the window dreaming
of the day when
he'll have a friend
the still lifes always gossip

The sounds of the room
are just right for
a demented mind
inspiring to the disturbed
a friend for the paranoid
a calm in the eye of
a mental storm

I'm stuck
Blocked
Done for
I've got
Nothing
Nada
Zero and zip
Inspiration
Eludes me
Dancing
Around my head
God, just
Let me write
Something good
Worthwhile
Papers and poems
Scatter my floor
I'm not asking for
Cummings or Kipling
Or Frost
Just one little poem
To prove this all
Isn't for naught

****.

It's one of my favorite words.

It's a verb, a noun, an adjective.

It's amazing.

You can say anything and add emphasis with ****.

I'm ******* tired.

You're a little ******.

*******.

It adds a jaded air to words that could have once sounded plain.

I'm so sick of this ******* place.

This ******* town doesn't have anything I want anymore.

It adds anger and frustration.

*******!

What's your ******* problem?

Leave me the **** alone.

It does so much.

It angers parents.

It makes you a middle school hero.

It makes you an average high school student.

It turns you into elementary school pariah.

It makes you an awesome old person.

It makes you a frighteningly upset parent.

**** can transform you from a quiet nobody to a very ******* somebody.

tired and sore, but happy

we are the ***** teens of the underground

grungy and grimy, our hair out of place

dirt on our hands and red on our cheeks

the wind biting against our skin as we ride

put the pedal to the metal and we climb

up, up high as we can go without dying

it's a wonderful thing, not caring

we don't care how people in the cars near by

see us as we ride in the rain

our clothes sticking to our skin

and the mud across our backs

biking through puddles

and talking about nothing

yelling to the sun

about how awesome we are

and how the hills mean nothing

to our muscled thighs

mud flies off our shoes

from the rocks we climbed

we move onward to our next location

your house or mine?

we sit ourselves upon a couch

and watch the hours glide by

and we get back on our bikes again

we're itching for a ride

When nobody understands anybody

Everybody is fine

But when anybody can't explain

Nobody doesn't know what's wrong

Anybody feels alone

Nobody tries to make it better

Anybody begins to cry

Nobody couldn't know but he feels terrible all the same

Anybody digs deep deep down to find the words

But she can't they're lost somewhere

Where nobody can find them

But nobody's not looking for words

He's looking for a solution that can't be found

Anybody gives up on explaining or telling nobody

And lets the pain wash over her

But nobody's there he finds the solution

Hidden down beneath the words that anybody couldn't find

But nobody found them and there he found the solution

The way to make anybody understand how nobody feels

Without having to find more elusive words

A hug

An exchange of looks and a smile

Anybody finds new words

Different words to express the feelings of nobody

I love you

And nobody doesn't need to search for words anymore

Because they were given to him

Handed down to him from anybody

And he says these words that don't have to be found

But discovered or given and once given they need to be returned better than before

I love you too.

Time nor age
Can fade this moment
The way the light
Made each flake shine
The way the night
And all its possibilities
Flowed swiftly forward
To wrap itself around them
The sharp crunch
The freshly fallen snow
Made as each footstep fell
Stole the raucous silence
From their ears
The glow of the
Streetlamps cast halos
Of charming light
That illuminated
The beautiful houses
As they spoke of
Futures and hopes
And the lives of
Their deepest, dearest dreams
This moment, this night,
This beauty, this magic
Are permanent for them
Never to be dulled or forgotten
But to be with them
And to beat on
In their hearts
Forever.

Sleep, sweet child
and dream of tomorrow
dream of the future
think not of sorrow
picture the joy
you'll feel everyday
when you do what you love
and let come what may

Sleep, sweet child
slumber so sound
let troubles nor worries
weigh yourself down
but soothe yourself
calm all your dread
dream of tomorrow
of happiness, success
dream of your future
relax and rest

Sleep, sweet child
just close your eyes
and no one will fool you
with a clever disguise
go to lands that
you may never see
travel in dreams
be wild and free

The disease bit at her soul
tore logic from actions
wouldn't fade away

The disease pushed her further
than she'd ever gone before
and yet, dragged her down

The disease stole her strength
built her up, ripped her down
took away all that she'd made

The disease loved her though
and she couldn't just leave
not without saying goodbye

The disease reeled her in
during those final breaths
before walking away

The disease is chronic
untreatable, incurable
and with him forever she'll stay.

Puzzle pieces that don't quite fit
We're two cogs that never meshed
How we turned, twisted, writhed
To fit in the molds we've left behind
We're older now, and yet wiser not
Our excuses are inexcusable
And our tongues too sharp
The sarcasm and vitriolic words
Burned acidic through every
Relationship that could have bloomed
And yet at the end of the day
We'd turn to each other and wonder
What was so wrong with the world
To turn our wondrous selves away