and here i am again
at the intersection
of pedestrian language
& old wives tales
swallowing gum
like 7 year memories
opening umbrellas inside
cause i can't seem get away
from all of this rain
i ******* with my left hand
cause i was told
back in highschool that
"it feels like someone else is doing it"
it gets me wondering
about the difference between
losing you and finding out
that some one else found you
or my sleep
or lack thereof
its starting to tear me apart
i keep having this dream
where you are in
an unfamiliar body of water
trying to wash my poetry
off of your hands
or the one where
something happens in my chest
every time you sit
on someone else's bed
i'm tired of feeling like something you've misplaced
but don't have the heart
to look for anymore
tired of you saying my name
like you're trying to bury it
i'm tired of wondering
if you can tell the difference
between the absence
of my voice & silence
the other day
i almost started sobbing
at work when a woman
asked me about
our equipment
i was explaining how
things come apart
and almost mentioned your name
it made me think
of how you used to say
things like "what would you do
if i showed up on your doorstep
one day?" now, i haunt
the windows in my house
i don't leave for weeks at a time
i sit on the porch like the dog
you didn't shoot behind the shed
the one that refuses to die
until you come home again
i told somebody once, that
you didn't even know
what my voicemail sounded like
i wonder if they thought
it was because you
are so important that i never
let it ring that many times
before picking up
or if you dont know
what it sounds like
because you've never called
you can't be the ****** weapon
and the search party
i'm tired of all the seats
to the ferris wheel in my chest
being empty
tired of your voice
being the one i look for
in abandoned places
that one sound i beg
to bounce back
down vacant hallways
i just seem to stand there
in all of that quiet
like someone looking for a mistake
on an eviction notice
so i guess the hardest part
isn't letting go
it's forgetting
you ever had a grip
in the first place
and since you've been gone
i wonder if when
you pushed yourself away from me
you used your left hand
so it felt like someone else did it

“How do you know when you’re in love?”
"Well,” Jack said, gazing out the windshield at the flickering stars, “It feels like drowning in a thousand oceans
starving at a feast
driving
with your eyes closed
and the windows down.”

“Really?”
"Rhetorically speaking."

“It feels like sleeping naked on the beach.
an anchor deep in your chest flung overboard
rain
on the window
of a moonlit apartment.”

“Really?”
“Rhetorically speaking.”

“I love you, Jack.”
“Always and forever?”
“Always and forever.”
"Rhetorically speaking.”

The problem
with promises
is that sometimes
they are
*hardtokeep

You said you want a guy who loves to roll the dice
He might get a six, but mine has twenty sides.
Like Lucy in the Sky you won’t believe your eyes
Like Dory be surprised and forget the other guys

People aren’t something anybody can own but
I heard about a thing called inter-library loan
Run my fingers down your spine
and dog-ear the pages
Our story will be told for ages and ages

Just call me love,
‘cause all you need is me
Must be shortsighted ‘cause you are all I see.

I know no man’s an island,
But I’ve got a big peninsula
Step onto my deck
And maybe we can get molecular

I’m not part of your fandom
I just want to see the show
Got reasons to hold back
Let’s pretend we didn’t know

Call me fire, call me death
I’m a dragon named Smaug and this rap is my breath

I’m sweet and empty inside, if that’s what you’re after
I’ll open right up and you can call me candy rapper

creator
destroyer
voluminous ends
quick beginnings
do-all
done-all
will-all
no starts nor stops
thick like sloppy kisses
thin like passing talks
All this hid inside a clock