My eyelids flutter
As he says "Are you utter?"

There is something about IT
I just want to drowned in it
Darkness stirs and shakes the imagination
It twists my thoughts
they run wild
leaves me utterly motionless
I am so captivated by the darkness
It is chilling, frighting, thrilling
I, IT
will slowly slaughter me
"Let it secretly possess you." I, IT whispers
As I think I, IT escapes from reality
I let my thoughts soar
But everything comes to an end
Now, I'm back, I say farewell
"Bye, I will be back oh so soon." I... say

With my limp over watered body in your arms, You escort me to land
You sweetly place my body on the sea shore, I try to stand and stay with you, but I'm stuck in this sea kissed sand
The tide is coming for me
My long sea legs aren't meant for land, you leave me on this shore, I knew this sea would be the last of me
The tide is coming for me
You lead me to land, I've strayed from you my sea, please forgive me!
He gulled me, he fooled me, I had hope in we
Please don't let it take me! I'm afraid, I don't want to be with the sea
You made me desert my sea, you gave me hope in not just you, but me!
Now, I'm left alone on this shore, stuck here in this horrible gore
As I knew, and will always know, here is the sea, always waiting for me
Oh my, here comes my tide, just before I die

her last breath whispered mercy
the ambulance rushed over with urgency
cause of death, broken heart
it was ripped apart

I resign myself to death, simply because,
The sight of her hung over me like a revelation
The glimpse of her red, wet lips that I have obtained
Will remain in my eyes for weeks, she has possessed me
I crave her so much, that I don't exist
And with my pre-death dreams of today
I know I will only gaze upon her again,
I stare as if she is the only thing I have ever seen
Her cheeks so full of lust, they smelt of,
Crushed grass and spit, I imagined licking them
She is sooo sun kissed, sooo light and red 
The merciful sun, shined on her chest, through her dress
Through her blue eyes, making them glisten like after a good cry
This view of mine, makes my heart sore
Totally revealed, she is more than perfect, I smile,
With rotting demons behind my teeth, she will never be mine
Her tiny, pinkish mouth, her vocals that produces that lustful noise
Her giggle, any noise rattling out of her delicate throat  
That is the melody I have been mutilating
She is the only thing I hear

please,
                      tell me
will your demons
       come out...
and go on their normal route.
          or...        will they play with mine
   and dine.                                    
               dine on their hosts flesh, you and i
our hearts are first, they will be fried
their mouths      water        
while we're in for the    slaughter

the true joy of sorrow

So long to meet this unique twist
I wish I could have known him sooner,
Being alone with him is nothing but a rumor
I want to continue with this excursion,
With him, I'm only a fresh ******
As I secretly listen to his voice,
I hear a crack of his beautiful noise  
Him and I are walking onto a masterpiece,
And he says, 'this is strictly fantasy'
This fantasy, is overflowing me, flooding my days
Angel, my twist, please never end this bliss
Keep this twisted Angel on my side
This secret love potion he slipped me is making me blind
I don't want to be healed, please, gull my heart some more
I want to play with him in this storm even more
And a gentle kiss, from this twist
I'm here at last
What a lovely, and lonely way to view
'Am I alone with you?'

My mind is abusing today
Anything that anyone has said to me
Is rattling in my thoughts, it is torture
I will not leave myself alone
The words are ******* endless
So unbelievably reoccurring
I cannot cease my wounding thought process
I feel perfectly helpless, angry
I want to be ruined
I know it will make me seem better

my best friend died today

As I see, I see this view
My heart has become the blue
My heart is now this, dreaded, sea
That I use to find comfort in, you see
Now my beautiful, lovely, poetic sea  
Is now the sea, I never wanted to see
You turned my heart into the sea
My once beautiful sea
Is now nothing but an endless,
Infection of me  
My heart is flooding into me
Overflowing into certain parts of my body,
Where it shouldn't be
My heart is nothing but this sea
That I never thought it could be

Emotionless, you can't feel one thing
Just maybe a sting

Of the love you once new
But they ripped all of it out of your heart, it was in there hands, a particle of dust, then they blew
You just want the feeling that you once new

You know all the words but you cant hear the music

You're emotionally colorblind, you act like you have them but they never really come to pass

She finally peaks her head out from her watery love
And I watch her breathe in this human air, alllll this fresh air
And this I swear, is more then I can bare
Seeing her face, eyes, damp and dark from the sea
And I wonder what the sun feels like to her against her
Pale, flawless skin, this thought made my heart sore for weeks  
The color of her blue eyes in the sun, as pretty as the sea
Her eyes hold the sea, she is the Goddess of me  
The sea has spared me from this, beautiful, scare
The sea gave her thoughts of we, she sees me  
She is extremely perfect, with faded skin, perfect eyes  
With the most lightest blonde hair strands,
you have and will ever see
I cannot say whether any disease of love of the heart
Caused her cheeks, her lips to need the sea
But she is the only thing I can see
Her eyes once soooo full of the sea, she is lonely
She actually misses me, the sea listened to my plea
In her heart lives the slightest thought of we
I'm sure she lives a lonely life under the sea
As I watched her visit me secretly  
As I watched her perfectly hidden, I watched her heart changed
I saw in her eyes, not only me but the sea can tell
That for the first time, her mind thought that the sea
Wasn't all she sees, the sea is slowly draining from her eyes I think
Her eyes see something in me

10w

As I came seldom shore
Fairly for me, away the salty mist
Away, away, lays the blue vale
Further from salty touch, the more the pale

The sea does call me, I search and lick my lips
The salty taste draws me to the abyss
Land you have eventfully failed
This icy wind, I will again never inhale

And I come now to sea
Land is pretty, but not as pretty as the sea
Gratefully wonder back to its whispering
melody, sea you are the only remedy

As I watch the candle light flicker
I wonder if the fire has thought
If the flicker is its S.O.S.
If the flicker is it fighting in the cup trying to get off of the wick
I wonder if the fire thinks melting the wax gives it hope
Hope to be freed from it open prison cell
What a torturous life it would be, to be so close to being free
Every time that match lights on fire it is filled with glee
But it changes, it screams, when it slides into the candle
And sees its prison cell
The wick

My eyelids are folding over my body
As I roll into my flesh bed
I dream, and I dream of you
I bury the dream
And I wake up underground

Bottomless values and forever floods
Into a sea that lacks shores
With skies of lone blue,
without grounds, of heaven too, but only in the Devil's view
And down below in the blue lone
Of the most stormy heart was condoned
In this land that has become sea
In this endless infection of me
And only when it was in the Devil's view
Was my demon in the blue
And in my tale of the sea,
that was never untold by me
Because heaven forgot, it impelled me
To foretell the tale of me
Until my demon,
was perfectly drowned in the blue
Only then would the Devil unfold and stay in my view

Maybe my heart will stop and play its final tune
It is tangled in golden fleece, trapped forevermore
It is owned by a king, and guarded by the trees
This golden fleece will never release me
And outside of this grove there is a dragon
Horrible and beautiful in its way
It's the second force guarding my heart by the bay
Of course still by the sea, but too far stuck behind these wooden bars
Stuck behind this violent thing, the king
The king brings me this pain, and I strain
And Strain until there is nothing more
Nothing more the this golden fleece
And death more then you could believe

Dead blood pours out of me
Out of this contaminated being
That is now me
Infecting my precious sea
My stale blood ruining it
Like it ruined me
I believe it's my heart
That makes this lonesome carcass
So utterly repulsive
Or maybe I've been in this sea too long
It has eaten away at me, now I'm rotting
And there is nothing left of me to see

I feel the sea, is the last gift I'll ever receive
I will be given nothing before it
And definitely nothing after it  
As soon as it glosses my skin I will leave
Sink into the known hate of my blood
And fall in love, and only believe in sea
And never feel the need,
For anyone, or anything else but sea
I can imagine it now as I close my eyes
I can see the darkness not of the skies
But of the sea, and I feel like breathing and...
I breathe in sea air, now,
I know, there is nothing else
I will ever care for again

Intellect sores, bountifully, higher then God
Nefariously bottomless, I fall then Hell
Eventfully, ill angels impel my ascend to Heaven
Fiendish demons walk me back
As I depress, I depress beyond saving
As I advance, I advance beyond saving  
The Devil, nor God can believe what I've become
I can't escape this
I am fastened in this blending line
And in between the insidious two, I am willingly blind
Hell and Heaven are consolidating
If the ill angels in Heaven
Are like the demons too
Heaven is the worst of the two

a musical facade, an internally strident tone
playing artfully, an out put of a hushed orchestra
composed individualized intentions
every tune, singularly silent, like that of a revelation
hiding the sharpness of the precise melody
individually unusable
tunefully mute
i imagined licking it
i cannot hear its notes, but I desire to
maybe I can taste it?

restore me, restore life.

today i met a man who wasn't there, and this i swear
his skin was misplaced, i pondered, he said she was graced
he said, "under my skin is a nightmare, nightmares are all i see,
                                                            ­ ­      all i am, all i will ever be."
today a man that wasn't there, told me. about his dead sea
told me it was full of skin, with a seldom dreary grin
he said weary, "under my skin is wickedness, wickedness is all i see,
                                                            ­ ­       all i am, all i will ever be."
today i met myself who wasn't there, and this i swear
i peeled my skin off and under it was also a nightmare
me that wasn't there, and this i swear, can't stand the skin i wear
i come back to my own reality, and me is all i see
and i go back to my skin spree

i say sadly, "under my skin is me, me is all i see,
                                                            ­ ­ all i am, and all i will ever be."

I am the Goddess of the sea, bound in this gruesome carcass
By the one who loved me
It has and will always be, torture in these bones
Surrounded by blood, and not the blue flood
Cut off from the beautiful sea
Cut off from all that has ever truly loved me
Mastery of the sea, cannot be achieved!
Even without me, the sea, will be free
You will never tame the sea, these bones are not me
The one who loved me, the one who took me from the sea
The last thing they will ever know, is how cruel the sea can be

I even have to remember to breathe!
In my house by the sea.
I only drink the saltwater from the sea.
Somehow I continue to breathe.
This water has infected me.
This lonely water from the sea.
I've let my heart sink so far into the sea.
That not even the ghost of me.
Could recover my heart and flee.

Extremely perfect, with large, faded, gray eyes
With the most lightest blonde hair strands,
you have and will ever see
I cannot say whether any disease of amore
of the heart caused her cheeks to be so red
But this is the only thing I can see

I hope and pray as his finger brushes upon my binding  
That he will flip through my dusty brittle pages
That he will gaze upon my words and find emotion
That he will put creases in my binding because I am open and closed so much
That he will run into people and drop me on wooden floors
I long to be read
But he passes along and leaves with the infamous Edgar Allan Poe

What a spell that fiend casted over me
How I would like to flee from his odd embrace
If I did he would just chase
So I choose to sit
Sit and play his little game
He is to blame
Blame for my werid love
That I shoved out
From the deepest darkest parts of my soul
His twisted ideas roll of my tongue
Like I perceived them
Like there my own
I’m warped
Please don’t think less of me
I had to work with what I had!
Now dad, please let go of me

You have this scent
The luster of you
It floods my dreams
Overflows me, and I wake up
And I truly ache for you
So I don't sleep, trying to avoid,
this ache, this horribly perfect scent
Successfully avoiding my dreams
But this scent,
is slowly flooding into my days
This scent of your chest
Is overflowing out of my mind
Into my days
Maybe if I sleep, and give it a chance to breathe
Maybe this scent of you won't flood me

Please, I plead. Eat this flesh,
for I pump dead blood.
Right down to the bone, leave nothing behind!
Oh god. Please, take this lonesome heart!
Eat my flesh! All of it!
Why do you leave this heart behind?!
This thing wasn't always mine!
Please, feast, dine!
Eat all my flesh!
Consume this heart it shouldn't be mine...
Even these scavengers, these pits of the sea
Want nothing to do, with this part of me

away away, to the salty sea
away away, from all that is we
away away, from men and he
away away, from love indeed

away away, at last from land
away away, even from the sand
away away, from where i can stand
away away, to the sea i am banned

away away, and now i drown
away away, i am finally crowned
away away, at last i am alone
away away, in the pits of the sea on my throne

Peace runs through miles of uncharted hell
My feet swell, on burning stone  
The heat is seeping through my muscles to my bones
My heart, well it's fighting to beat
Oh how I would love to give up, I envy the weak,
how I would love to be the Devils sweet meat
But I keep on
When I find peace this will all be gone

* * *

Peace runs through a single mile of uncharted hell
My feet, they soak in the heat
My heart, well, ha, people say they can still hear it beat
Oh and how easy it was to find peace, just let the heat increase
Let it overflow your bones, eat the burning stones
They envy me, the weak
The Devil is MY sweet meat!
MY treat!
Yes, keep on, but not for too long
Like I said, when you find peace, all these elegant gores, will all be yours

The art of grasping madness is all I've ever known
I'm missing pieces of my bones
I must be careful what my intellect replaces them with
But I'm happy dragging my books of myths
Why do I have to replace?
Well, my ribs, there wasn't a trace
I replace them with my blood
What happens when it comes, the flood?
The blood will wash away with the water
My heart left for the slaughter
I could hear my blood, I knew I would never be free
All that was left was me
As my blood left, I could hear someone with it, bones in the left hand, and a string in right
At the end of the string was my heart, it was held tight,
all I've ever felt was fright  
This is an excursion I will never leave
Simple security I will never achieve  
As the end bears near I will show all my fear
My fear will be just as sincere as her cheer  
This was a seldom start
Nothing, could guard my heart

how am i faking almost every human interaction


so well

you wont bother to read these until i'm ******* dead will you?

I feel like, I always fall into a love, a fearful love.
In doubt I have been, and am.
And fear has flooded my love,
in fear I have been, and am.
My heart feels this seemingly endless, toll.
When I'm in my fearful love.
Endless I have been, and am.
My heart aches with bountiful, fearful, love.
No, no, my ribs have not failed me.
Secure I have been, and am.
No, my soul, my weak, disgusting soul.
Feeds this horrible woe,
this bottomless pit of fear.
And to think, this all started with,
this idea of love, love.
In love, I have been, and am.

grasping pure, vile, blood from me
she is all i can compose
she is my mutilated melody
that i've been waiting for
an isolated life i've lived
under this disfigured cloak i call the sea
i truly fear, that she sees nothing in me
perhaps a view of a decomposer of me
nothing but a glimpse, nothing to see

It's funny what we do under the cloak of darkness

You are a sweet fair thing
And I envy my heart,
When it howls out your name

You have very well tailored flesh
Cultivating your features
These flesh mirrors,
reflecting the enlightening distortion
The illusions of the red
An ostentatious color
Your staggering amount of obligation
Strenuous on your fitted eyes
Perceiving so efficiently,
that your multi-spined flesh suit is wet

shutting this lustful devil up into a statue
this is what i must do, to disguise my mutilated view
the ends of its unexperienced mouth tremble and twitch
as i force myself deeper and deeper into its abyss
and those live cheeks, curiously immature
turn to an indecent pink, in my repulsive, quivering hands
this statue i have concocted in my intellect
with these incomplete slots in my brain
there are no boundless alternatives to my, unsettling masterpiece
simply produced and seduced by me

how far have you ventured into your sexuality
those especially sickening cracks in your filthy bones
a bouquet of dead blood, curiously, impurely artful
relish in the red
as the watered down blood settles into its collar bones
an indecent puppet, on a missing string
feel the alluring wrath of luscious disgust
curious sickness is plentiful here
this now red liquid is slithering down its throat
ahhhhh this dead, red, sea

My uncertainties I speak aloud
Mysteriously mute
I have even composed it, here! for you!
But it still seems to be inaudible to you
My dreams manifesting into violence
I know I’ve become accustomed to the unnecessary
I have reigned over my thoughts, for years, until you

For all that ensues, I will heed

Drinking on individual circumstance
Apprehension swims
Manipulating his fluids

Liquid intentionality
Soaked in contamination
Justified with wounds

The wetness of iniquity
He is glossed in it

Questionably bitter.

     *

After ALL this,
I'm still drowning in his adoration

I'm treading his thawed spine,
until his fleshy affections have (also) started dripping

My body, slippery with him
Readily tasting the drips

Somehow, his dampness is so candied
I'm honeyed with each lick

He is very, very vivid to all that is me
He managed to preserve his fragrancy

Unquestionably sweet.