you wont bother to read these until i'm ******* dead will you?

grasping pure, vile, blood from me
she is all i can compose
she is my mutilated melody
that i've been waiting for
an isolated life i've lived
under this disfigured cloak i call the sea
i truly fear, that she sees nothing in me
perhaps a view of a decomposer of me
nothing but a glimpse, nothing to see

how far have you ventured into your sexuality
those especially sickening cracks in your filthy bones
a bouquet of dead blood, curiously, impurely artful
relish in the red
as the watered down blood settles into its collar bones
an indecent puppet, on a missing string
feel the alluring wrath of luscious disgust
curious sickness is plentiful here
this now red liquid is slithering down its throat
ahhhhh this dead, red, sea

shutting this lustful devil up into a statue
this is what i must do, to disguise my mutilated view
the ends of its unexperienced mouth tremble and twitch
as i force myself deeper and deeper into its abyss
and those live cheeks, curiously immature
turn to an indecent pink, in my repulsive, quivering hands
this statue i have concocted in my intellect
with these incomplete slots in my brain
there are no boundless alternatives to my, unsettling masterpiece
simply produced and seduced by me

My mind is abusing today
Anything that anyone has said to me
Is rattling in my thoughts, it is torture
I will not leave myself alone
The words are ******* endless
So unbelievably reoccurring
I cannot cease my wounding thought process
I feel perfectly helpless, angry
I want to be ruined
I know it will make me seem better

Dead blood pours out of me
Out of this contaminated being
That is now me
Infecting my precious sea
My stale blood ruining it
Like it ruined me
I believe it's my heart
That makes this lonesome carcass
So utterly repulsive
Or maybe I've been in this sea too long
It has eaten away at me, now I'm rotting
And there is nothing left of me to see

With my limp over watered body in your arms, You escort me to land
You sweetly place my body on the sea shore, I try to stand and stay with you, but I'm stuck in this sea kissed sand
The tide is coming for me
My long sea legs aren't meant for land, you leave me on this shore, I knew this sea would be the last of me
The tide is coming for me
You lead me to land, I've strayed from you my sea, please forgive me!
He gulled me, he fooled me, I had hope in we
Please don't let it take me! I'm afraid, I don't want to be with the sea
You made me desert my sea, you gave me hope in not just you, but me!
Now, I'm left alone on this shore, stuck here in this horrible gore
As I knew, and will always know, here is the sea, always waiting for me
Oh my, here comes my tide, just before I die