i close my eyes
my favorite classical slowly fades out
my eyelids move violently
i picture myself rocking back and forth  
hands folded

as I secretly listen to the music
my hands move with the sound of the violin
my feet move with the sound of the piano
and my heart soars with the composers

i try to open my eyes
i'm not rocking
my hands are still folded, tightly, stiff it seems now
my heart is still underground

The sharp mountains swallow the Sun
The sky turns red and purple
That's the Sun's blood floating into the air

whenever i swallowed that pill
i knew what was coming
nothing
no smile
no frown
nothing but a heavy coat
on me all day
covering everything
everything about me
i can't emphasize
NOTHING
enough
numbness
it is better to feel sadness, madness
than nothing at all
please parents, just let me free fall

i cannot be this nothingness ghost

It's a seldom day
I woke up to thunder
And the sound of pouring rain

I went to church Sunday like I always do
My Pentecostal Pastor could see right through me
He looked into my eyes and asked me
"Are you living for God Tana?"
I looked straight back at him and said
"Yes sir."

the true joy of sorrow

My eyelids flutter
As he says "Are you utter?"