I want to die
and I feel like that's a normal feeling
a normal feeling
an emotion
a daily passing
but it's not
it isn't 'supposed' to be

in my dreams, my nightmares
I want to die
and its normal
it's a normal feeling
and I hate it
just as much
as I do right now

death is a normal thing
dying is normal
hate is normal
pills are normal
blood is normal
poison is normal
mania is normal
toxic is normal

I'm choking
I'm choking on what I'm supposed to be
?lamron m'i

pounding in my temples
incessant painful pounding
makes me grind my teeth
clench my fists
this fury starts in my stomach
rises
spreads like roots, germs, lies
into my lungs
my heart
it takes anchor
heavy
cemented
with each inhale
it all worsens
the  P O U N D I N G
  the  SPREADING
    the  **CEMENTING

I wanna taste the curve of her lips
so juicy
look at her
just standing there
she invites everyone in
with those eyes
and that wicked grin

she'll let me taste her
all of her
devour
and I'll look up into those eyes
and give her a wicked grin.

They've said, it's like drowning..
but you can see everyone else around you breathing
and nobody knows you're drowning

but for me, I know
everyone can see me drowning
I know they do
I can see it in their eyes
they don't know what to do

their words are empty
they look at me like an abomination
as if its it my fault I'm this way

Why can't you just snap out of it?
You just need to change your ways
as if it were that simple
just a pill
just a magic trick

they're scared because I've stopped pretending
that I'm okay
I can see it in their eyes
they don't know what to do

what can they do?