I was cool for about five minutes
You had a big plan thought I was in it
But your love  is rigged and I can’t win it
So I’m movin’ on down the line
It’s just a broken heart, I’ll be fine
                  
Had my eyes on you lookin back at me
One plus one equals destiny
What a nasty surprise when you set me free
Got a future now with a clearer view
This light waits for me without you

We both got that free will baby
Victor or victim of choices maybe
It’s a bigger grace that saves me
Could be you’re not the one
And my happiness has just begun

So you stunned me when you cut that cord
So easily broken I was floored
No longer the one that you adored
You made that choice to set me free
And I’m walking out a new destiny

Free equals me without you
Go on and do what you gotta do
TL Boehm
12/7/2013

Breathe life over dead situations
Blow the roof off of limited expectations
Seed and rain change the barren ground
One word from you turns my life around

Speak your words and I believe it
Hear the promise I receive it
All my tears are wiped away
Live this life no reservation
Heaven is my destination
I will worship you today

Reignite the burned out flame
You call me out you change my name
From death to life your word calls me
From slave to saved you’ve set me free

Speak your words and I believe it
Hear your promise I receive it
In your grace I am made new
Life this life no reservation
Heaven is my destination
Forever I will worship you

TL Boehm
02/17/15

Where the skylights meet the highway
Where the rubber meets the road
Hell in my rearview mirror
And my mind on overload
Can’t outrun the ticking clock
Or distance myself from destiny
Spun out in the middle of my life
By the reckless heart inside of me

Drag myself from under this wreckage
Can’t say I feel no pain
Only a matter of moments I’ll be
In another hit and run again
Speeding cars they never stop
Just because you forfeit the race
Clear the track and they go round again
A faster car to take your place

This blur of life makes me slam my breaks
I was never built for speed
Cut the nitrous and the adrenaline
There’s something more that I need
Calling out over the roar of the engines
Shut the door and throw out the key
Walk away from this race to nowhere
There’s a better path that waits for me

TL Boehm
02/15/14

What of love
She said you were the pulse of life
From woman to wife
Breathe beneath her skin
You’re just a shot of adrenalin

What of love
Open a vein and bleed the lie
She’s the addict you supply
Lips that drip sap and acid
And you’re death in a pretty package

What of love
Hypodermic words slurred
On a Sunday afternoon blurred
Stop her staccato heart
Drop death in her chest she’s torn apart

What of love
Arrest the damnable dreaming
Chains in the shape of a ring she’s screaming
Saffron dress and daisy chains
She won’t wear it again

What of love
Petty promises her overdose
On the floor of your hotel room comatose
Consolation prize forever after unhappily
No antidote to set her free

What of love
Little girls like lambs to slaughter
Lies make slaves of daughters
Chase the hollow sound of wedding bells
Fed fairy tales In prison cells  
Tl Boehm
04/27/2013

So the world spins
Inner discourse thinning
In the wake of daylight
Muted blues shift crimson
And the halcyon light floods my vision
I remain saturnine
The inner tenebrae of my dusky soul
My personal shadowland
sedulous manifestos etched
across my heart
the tattooed movement
cadence of oblivion
stained by the purpura
Of bleeding dreams

Apollo rides grandiose
Careening orb obliterates the dusk
Yet my eyes rain
myriad tears chase themselves
forever obedient to that same gravity
leaving me face down
with nothing but wet earth
and seeds dormant
full of promise that never blooms
My heart in the darkness
Of a shuttered room

TLB 092308

This woman’s love
Never caught up in the honeyed rush
As his gaze rests on the rhythm of her
Breath caught faltering
Lace at her breast can’t hide the fervor romance
The ephemera of blushed lips at fluted throats
Where bejeweled birds hover
Translucent
The summer luster of flitting wings
A dalliance in honeysuckle heavy with nectar
Fruited blooms and dew drop studded vines
The promise of heady mornings resonant with expectation
Of the day.
A fawn panting at the feet of Diana
Chase this dreamy ecstacy
Fling logic from a cliff with eyes wide open
Braced for impact and giddy for that little death

This woman’s love is war.
The ragged standard on the battlements
Bload soaked and stained with the sweat of my brow
Red earth and grit under cracked nails scrabbling
For one more split seed to sustain me.
This woman’s love is hard fought harvest
Wrestled from fallow ground
Ribs distend from weighted heart and lungs that burst
Feral words held hostage
And hips surrendered to the burden
Of flesh and bone made one
Knit in darkness before I knew you
A legacy that sprouts wings and fangs
And eats its way out through my soul

This woman’s love is birth and death
And all the sobbing chaos kept from you behind clenched fists
I would rather drown in the maelstrom than bring darkness
To blue eyed hope
This woman’s love is the slow decay
Of selfish dreams
The sloughed off mantle
Little girl dreams and daisy chains in trade for knowing
We created something beyond our selves….
Life will not be denied its effervescent bloom
As halos form in our hair and life becomes the salient blur spinning
Remembrance and forgetting
This woman’s love was worth the battle
Days settle soft at my feet
I obey gravity and the hope of little things
Babies in my arms…
Your happiness is my own and I win
This woman’s love
Is you.                
TL Boehm
09/27/2013

Do not leave me child
Do not fledge and grow
It’s just my broken soul in your way
Crumbling soft and slow
The first moment I held you
Is the moment I let you go.

A daydream then my sonshine
My sonshine then her man
New love swept you away
On a sweet summer day
Suddenly I’m alone again
You’ve found paradise
In a pair of brown eyes
Place a banded promise in her hand

Such a primitive shelter
You carved in this heart of stone
Life etched sweat and dust
Blade stippled with rust
Furrowed deeper than I’ve ever known
Now my fractured heart
Is falling apart
As you step out on your own

This gift I never wanted
Now I cling to you so tight
With a ferocity
Upwellling in me
I’d rather die than lose the fight
But I have to concede
When you were born you were freed
I’ve just prepared you for flight

TL Boehm
06/20/2013

You cannot be what you want to
You cannot stay who you are
You'll never get there from here
You'll never get that far
    
     The loop goes round and round
     The sound on autoplay
     The noise is loud inside my head
     I cannot get away

Who do you think you are
Why do you even try
You came into this world with nothing
And with nothing you will die

     The loop goes round and round
     Plays inside my brain
     The loop is a noose around my neck
     And around my ankles its a chain

Don't believe it don't recieve it
The loop is a deadly lie
Meant to put you in the ground
When you should spread your wings and fly

     You are precious beyond measure
     You're a priceless gift to me
     Break through the loop inside your head
     Let love set you free...
TL Boehm
02/05/06

Wanna lay you down in the moonlight
Let the wind in the pinon sigh
Make love with you till the morning
Underneath an amber sky

Child of cobalt waters
Soul of the northern lights
Won’t you let this southern daughter
Keep you warm in the desert nights

I hear your voice roll through your body
Like thunder in a summer storm
An echo that wraps around me
And the silence keeps me warm

I still smell your skin on mine
In the morning when I’m alone
I still see you through closed eyes
And I feel love I’ve never known

Wanna walk with you through life
Share the darkness and the dawn
For you are the words and music
And the meaning to my song

TL Hughes Boehm
1/29  2/27/88

And when I'm hurlin words and throwing blows  
Thumping drumbeats against my chest
I long to fall in your arms like a frightened child
And let you rock me to rest  

Inside outside upside down
Confusion coiled around me tight
This crawling terror got me paralyzed
I'm defenseless in this fight

All the frenemies and the wannabes
Levelin those guns at my head
Spillin  gasoline on a grass fire
Ain't no life with the walking dead

Then through all the noise inside my head
Your whispered wisdom rings out to me
Send that white flag up and surrender
Cuz I have come to set you free
TL Boehm
03/17/13

ABC's of God's Love
Above the chaos you see
Beyond your earthbound destiny
Cradled in the master’s hands
Dreams await and sacred plans
Eternal stuff for your weary soul
Fueled by love to make you whole
Generate the light where shadows break
Heal the cracks the wounds mistakes
Illuminate the chains by which you’re bound
Just take His hand and know you’re found
Kindred spirit deep within
Love never ends where you begin
My precious child I love you more
Never doubt what you’re created for
Only rest in me I give you peace
Protection, power and sweet release
Quiet child I am your source
Removing rocks I set your course
Swift water rises and winds may blow
Trust in me and this you know
Unconditional love precious and true
Victory and strength belong to you
Wherever you are I am with you there
Xoye your shepherd within my care
You are priceless by my infinite design
Zion waits " dear child mine.
TB 090706

Your voice fell in whispers
With the cadence of rain
Thrumming against the windowpanes
The rush of mourning doves
And albatross dreams
I am the storm tossed
Sea inside
Angry skies
Breathe me in
And I become gravid
With the weight of your soul
You are cool blue water
Gentle surf teases
This fractured shoreline
Scuttle up ancient things
The tide brings both sorrow
And exaltation
Let me drown in you now
Carry me out to the depth of you
Lift the anchor
And cast me away
03/14/13

We kept it light
You and I
Wrapped friendship around moments
Of lavender and tea roses
Treasures unearthed in lazy afternoons
Morel s and the damp lull of pines wafting through
An open window
Trading simple things
You were light
Filtered through antique lace curtains
Thoughts of you melt sweet
Chocolate chips held tight in small hands
Smiling for the moment
Until the residue is wiped clean

You are gone
But never forgotten
I will see you in sunsets and surf
And the way the rain falls steady
In late spring
When the light is soft behind the clouds
You never shied from the rumbling storm
When I raged and railed against the breaker walls
You were the calm
You held the tide
Even when the deluge started to take you
I could sense it in the pull of deeper moments
You said we’re all on a journey
And you left your legacy etched in my soul
Open the window a little wider
And embrace the sky

I will think of you always
And treasures
And the sea
Conch shells and mermaids
Surf against the sand
I will keep the light

March 2013

For Pat Brodniak-Carbonaro “ Seanymph”

Tendriled nightmares coil
Writhing blind knots
Restrict my inner vision
Peripheral blurred neuroses lurk
Morbid melodramas spin symbolisms
Of a tragic ending
Beyond the memory of moonlight
plaintive note of hope recedes
In the saturnine breeze
I am Lost to lower oscillation
Vestigial presence of the divine
Inert
My racing pulse thrums a dirge
for the waning day

You are the fulcrum
Levo mihi per vestri lux
The arbitration of angels
My inner spirit luminesces
Hope regains her tenuous place
I turn my tearstreaked face
To the memory of light

Amo Deus perficio lux
EGO mos orior iterum

TL Boehm
052608

Lift me with your light
Like God's perfect light, I will rise again

Where were you
When the rope snapped
Predicate your excuses
The vernacular dichotomies
of savants and fools
These love lessons comparative to
Step dancing in a mine field
These guerilla tactics of yours
Are lamentable
My neck already broken
By the force of your linguistic blows
Etymologically patterned for adoration
Love theory wasted on your lap
Sanctuary for kittens and babies
I bear the distinction derived from years
Of practicable nonchalance
The inflectional brutality
Of casual words
Spat out barbs of cyanide
We could have ..... forever
But I gave you my soul
Now the best of me is wasted space
Asphyxiated by the torque of adrenalin and ****** frustration
There is nothing left for you here
Pick up your paper chains
And wander home…
121209.
TL Boehm

Maya Angelou
Pretty women wonder where my secret lies.
I'm not cute or built to suit a fashion model's size
But when I start to tell them,
They think I'm telling lies.
I say,
It's in the reach of my arms
The span of my hips,
The stride of my step,
The curl of my lips.
I'm a woman
Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That's me. - Maya Angelou


Pretty women wonder where my secret lies.
I'm not cute or built to suit a fashion model's size
But when I start to tell them,
They think I'm telling lies.

I am uplifted gifted
When thoughts and prayers have drifted
From lonely hearts to heavens ears
I am the child wild
The severed ties nowreconciled
Sealed with a mothers tears
I am beyond the sum of earthly years

I am the beat the heat
The caress so soft and sweet
Chasing terrors in the night
The chaos haunting taunting
Defeat that stands there flaunting
I'm armed for the fatal fight
I'm a soul that's built for flight

A phenomenal woman that's me
Reflecting only what I see
The measure of your destiny
Giving the love that sets you free....
TL Boehm
100706

What if i were built for ***
Yours on command
******* and a small brain
pleasure me this
we'd both be satisfied
me draped on your arm
diamonds draped on my wrist
all I'd want is your hands on body
your mouth on mine
I'd breathe for you and little more
but that's not the way it goes down
tell me again how you just roll over....
while I cry curled up in in the corner
at the end of the day
everybody gets played
my eyes are wet and my body dry
unsatisfied
sweat as much as I can
for nothing
never enough and there's nothing left for you
that you can't do for yourself
you're just one more thing undone
take your rough hands and leave me alone
I'm too used to it now to even give register the thought.
Or what if we went back twenty years
When I was still clueless and crazy about you
If I'd just thought with my thighs
Blind
You filled me up for awhile
But I wanted more.
Yeah, a family and a home.
I should've backed away faster.
We should've watched that movie
What if none of this happened.
God knows I'd be drunk by now
and you'd be ******.
At least then we wouldn't realize
How hollow life is
The things we didn't get but always wanted
Wouldn't be screaming in the back of our throats
And we wouldn't be screaming at each other.
What if you said one kind word....
What then
I'll never know.
This is all you get
a woman with big brains and sagging skin
Built for dreaming
And little more.
Forever dissatisfied
No better than your thoughts on a cold night
You lose, didn't you
What if you hadn't said yes...'
What if I'd waited for YOU to ask the question?
That might have been a better forever
than this....
12/12/09
TL Boehm

Will you will or will you won’t
Will you do well when you don’t
Will you look right up and see
The mighty presence that is Me

Swing your saber through the wilderness
Taking hearts in stride
Will your will still carry you
Through the jungle of your pride
Will you will this road you’re on
Detoured from why I died
Will you will away eternity
Aim for Hell on a stellar ride

Will you nullify the light I give
Let the shadows dim this place
Every  time I call your name
Will you turn from my face
You can set your will against me
But my love won’t be erased
Do what you will to will it still
You’re forever my child of grace

I’m on your side as you run this race
It is my will to give you grace
No Hell no earthly place
Separates you from this grace
TL Boehm
January 2015

I saw it today. Stark aberration in my periphery. Flaccid and pale it was, like wan chicken fat under plucked skin. It blotted everything in the rear view mirror, jolting my reverie of quiet snow dancing across the road, resting on quilted cover lawns and frosting happy trees with dollops of white on spruce. So many distractions in the metal box, the meandered chatter punctuated with hiccup sighs and upended sentences. Now this…my neck in all its grisly middle aged wattling display. Like roadkill on a scenic Sunday drive. I’m mortified.
Wrenched from my tenure of “office know it all” or at least “figure it on the fly” chick in the high desert to this lakeside time warp, this place of gravy and pitched roofs, I’m totally off my jalapeno. Gone are the adobes and red or green breakfast plates to be replaced by the Sunday tradition of one hour with the silvers and breakfast with Bob " Bob Evans that is. Amazing how rote runs a brain. An epistle, the gospel, a homily and polite pew sharing with communion wrap up " it took a full minute for anyone to register  that one of our seasoned pieces of lumber was not slumbering but without breath altogether… and still so many went forward for the cup and the wafer in routine obedience.
Margaret asked me later “is he still gurglin’?” as though slumped over parishoners in a diabetic episode are commonplace, and sometimes a body leaves with an EMT escort. (He’s ok. At least that’s what we were told)
I keep looking out the bedroom window, the cascading sugary stuff glazing the scene framed by mauve curtains and punctuated by the few stoic sparrows too resolute or stupid to fly south to green paradise. I’m grooveless unpressed vinyl still waiting for the imprint of music. A rhythm above the chatter both inside my head and outside.
I’m a quiet creature - at least I crave the solitude and peace and I am diametrically opposed therefore to the queen of this house who savors light and movement and the noise of constant conversation. She’s been more than kind to open her home to us and I’m sure it’s difficult to have scuttling creatures in your home who prefer the sunless corners, the basement, the predawn holy places where nothing moves except the snow before the plow to the endless drone of voices. She’s flown solo in this house for nine years. Now it’s full of people who make no noise, no decibel print and it must be irksome to her.
I try to compromise, to curb my urge to run from the meal table and **** the myriad things that wait in my personal life. The bills, the bank issues " who knew our financial institution was unrepresented in this chile-less place? Who knew everything cost twice as much as it does way out west? Who knew unemployment insurance does not ensure a survivable wage?  All the tiny things I hold at bay until I can sit no longer. Patience. I lack it. I can learn to compromise, but I cannot quell completely who I am. It has been that attempt over the last decade to stifle what is inside that has made me itchy and twitchy and ****** now. That and that damnable wattling neck.  Yes, I’m stripped of all I was when I was what I was in the middle of the high desert and now the only thing left is the stuff simmering in my head…
Peace.

There is a secret place
Where I stumble over moments
Bleed out
Small tragedies
Ossuaries of unbirthed dreams
I pick the bones clean
Fat with the bitter marrow
I **** my own ego dry
Always hungry for more
Reality imperious with her stark sun
Will obtrude this paper veil
Lethal
Wasps in the wine
Sting my throat
Bloated
I cough out only lies
Transfixed by specters
The thin skin membrane fantasy
Effaces
I am so…
Disappointingly mortal
Transfixed by shadow Christologies
This shallow breathing
Slow asphyxiation
Of mantras that never rise
Appropriate the faithless
Words that burn
Catapult my personal truth
Against your stone walled beauty
I am ragged
Broken
Imprisoned in this walking cadaver
I call soul
She wants what she wants
There is no beauty in this lie
Only the resonant sensation
Of the inevitable decay
When the secret place that is me
Turns to ash
And blows away….
TL Boehm
2010

Shadow Christologies - is a term often used for Old Testament teachings that alluded to Christ - many Jewish Festivals were examples of "shadow Christology" - in this piece specifically the intent is to illuminate the futilty of chasing shadows when the real thing is available...

The little lights
They effervesce
Caught up in the breath of you
Crisp pinafore dress
And fireflies
I am with you child
At the edge of the world
Where sullen skies ebb
And bare trees
Poise for the blooming spring

Daughter
I long to put my arms around you
Barefoot and tousled
You carry my broken soul
Flickering
If only
I ever

The ash from bonfires
Winks out in sand
Summer evenings
Capricious I danced
Let the waves take me
Ephemeral pleasure
A skipped moment
Gray in the daylight
Shake the shamed from tattered blankets
And sneak back home

I will never cradle
Your tiny frame
Feel the thrum of your heart
Like moths against a window
The echo of a breath
I love you, mommy
Sad mantras now
This consequence
Surrender to the silence
Of life ungiven

Daughter
Resurrected only
As a fatal wish
Moments when I see you
Do you wait for me, still?
TL Boehm...03/21/13

No bits of lace and ribbon
No flowers for your hair
Just tiny trucks and airplanes
Toy soldiers everywhere
No ruffly pink cotton dresses
Pearl buttons sewn with care
Just big Tshirts and faded jeans
That’s what you’ll choose to wear

You won’t understand the love and ache in my heart
As I help you grow up to grow away
Bu I would not trade you for a ray of light
In a life of black and rainy days

Hey there rock and roller
My little toy soldier
I watch you dance alone
You’re my ray of son light
But one day you just might
Burn brighter than I’ve known
Will you still be dancing
When you are grown

Rubber scorpions in your pocket
Mario world in your dreams
Catching stars and crashing cars
A warrior on the TV screen
Pokemon are the only monsters
And when you fight you always win
Will your real world be as cool a place
As the digital ones you’ve seen

And I offer up a little thanks for you
Every time I close my eyes to pray
Keep on dancing to your song boy
You’ll never grow to old to play

TL Boehm
9/95  3/17/99  10/25/99
For Fred Boehm " watching Fred dance…

Thirty Two Years
I'm built like a burlap sack full of mongrel pups.
Too bad the arroyo is dry
I live in a stucco mudpile  where the kitchen linoleum peels up like iguana skin.
I wanted wicker and stained glass.
Too fragile for the lions that roar on my savannah.
I can drink and curse most men unconcious.
I'm nothing like that drunken S.O.B. you married
Whose every nasty habit crawls out of my skin unbidden.
So unlike your high school sweetie.
How amazing that genes can lie.

I sing seventies soul in the shower.
Cry poetry in twilight
This tenor voiced soprano warms with age.
When I'm forty I'll sing like Tina Turner.
WishI was black so I'd have legs like that.
I wanted a spotlight.

Drowning in a testosterone saturated puddle
Of synchronized farting, moco noses
And hot wheels sprouting from the carpet
I nurture till it hurts
Yes, you can raise tadpoles in the baby pool
Say "please and thank you".
Blow that nose in your tissue not your sleeve.
I love you, I'm so proud you can count to infinity.
Your eyes are bluer
You'll be taller
You're smarter than I was at your age.

Mama, you never let me be better than you
Ten fingers and toes, all you said you wanted - wasn't enough to make you whole.
I am a bogle in your basement
What color is the bad sheep when she's the only one?
A faded white reminder of your own failures
Captured in those curling Kodak moments
Your lithe arms draped over me
Your eyes focused on the Guy du Jour
Never felt my own small heart beating
Above the thunder of your own.
My mouth full of lava soap and spaghettios
Never able to question your omnipotence.

You still shriek in my dreams, Mama.
A jade eyed banshee screaming for a soul I cannot give you.
I never close my eyes.

I kiss my boys damp curls while they sleep
One tousled froth of lemon merangue
One butterscotch sweet against my lips.
Perfect love.
I wonder if you ever felt that ache in your heart  for me?
As you yanked that wire brush through my bristley mane
Or smacked my young *** with it?
Give me one more chance to nuzzle against you
And look up into eyes as bright as new leaves.
Let me see myself as a perfect reflection of you.
In my heart, we are whole...

TL Boehm
3/18/98

I watched the mama's desperate
Wiping tears from babies eyes
I watched our old ones suffer
While our heads were filled with lies
From the safety of my dry land
I watched the waters rise
But my heart was torn and broken
Tormented by the cries
Of a city put through hell
While the hope of a people dies

I listened while my nation
Played a deadly game
Fearless in the face of creation
Too lazy to take the blame
While parents and sons and daughters
Died in the street without a name
Tides relentless covered families
But nothing washes away the shame
Still lives hang in the balance
Some things will never be the same

I feel the desperation
Of thousands of shattered souls
Who trusted that salvation
And protection was the goal
Now scattered, lost and lonely
Too far gone to ever be whole
And the sum of the lies they've swallowed
Is bitter poison that takes its toll

And yet I still believe
What sparks the heart of a man
Beaten down a thousand times
And yet the warrior stands
There's a place beyond survival
Where the spirit reclaims the land
I still believe in the love and life
Sparked in the heart of a man
TLB 082906

I want to make you shiver
And touch your very soul
Want to bring you to your knees
Show you a love that makes you whole
But I cannot till you ask me
Till you loose yourself and your control

I want to take your darkness
The blackest places in your night
To break the glass you’re staring at
And dazzle your eyes with perfect light
But I can’t change your line of vision
Till you move your eyes to my sight

Its my will to save you
My delight to set you free
It brings me intense pain
To see you shackled in slavery
But I can’t unlock your chains
Until you let me have the key
Just give me your open heart
Let me in just accept me

Why do you turn away
Nothing could stop me from loving you
Nothing you can do or say

TL Boehm
12/02
12/27/05

tongue tied and twisted, just an earthbound misfit I" - Pink Floyd - Learning to Fly

Fearfully
formed bitter
gypsum whispers
the starlit dust of me fell
in darker places
rarified light bends and scatters
murderous intent
She wept
when you swept over me
Given over to that perpetual motion
inhale
exhale
pause
I am breath with no spirit
flesh and bone with a broken soul
already weary of this world
Before the the severing
fatal disconnect from the divine
I am alone in my skin
And my heart
Deaf to your still...small...voice
in the night when anxiety bleeds
from open wounds
hungry mouths they feed on insecurities
should I find myself naked
this profane offering
burning on your altar
would you find the fragrance
pleasing
blemished creature
beneath your clay feet.
040110
TLBOEHM

In twilight you will find me
Dipping tenuous thread
Umber on dun
Sputtering tallow
Tapping ash into my thin skin
As if the tattooed music would soothe
The crawling terror in my gut
Hollow eyed I ply the offal
Crack the marrow mixed with spit
And dirt I form words of earth
And blood and bone
The viscus slippage I devour
The accretion of tears and sweat
In open wounds only births
Words that fester
Were you expecting a pearl?
I am weary of chasing
Beautiful winged creatures
Only begets feathers in my mouth
And dry heaves  
Fluff and nonsense
Raindrops and daffodils
Never sustain
There are no gentle angels
Only capricious minds that rail
Oh the horror of living
Off the remains of throw away moments
Chase the rainbows end
To your designer ever after
You will find me
Teeth bared and waiting
For you to wake up…  
TL Boehm
04/02/13

If you want to sacrifice the admiration of many men for the criticism of one, go ahead, get married.  Katherine Hepburn
Altar-ed

Imbedded in my memory
Scratchy soundtrack moments at 33rpms
The wicked life I led
Wine soaked nights
Days steeped in bourbon blur
Pagan cadence to the sacred space
Thrumming drums of pen to paper
Cryptic rhythm of words slurred
In sweat and desperation
My imagination
I reveled in potential pleasure
So many suitors spellbound and broken
In my wake I take nothing
The carnal flesh set for sacrifice
On the altar of forbidden dreams
My mind sullied, body clean

And you came with sober notes
The subtle structure of a tempered life
Traded my tambourine
For shackles
Mother, wife….
Dry eyed I cleave to you
Under quiet skies
My mind recants
The rigid friction of your words
My body yours when this mind’s empty
Adequate sacrifice for the sanctuary
Of dreamless creeping sleep.

TL Boehm 070408

Northern Light
Forever words
They dance across my shattered soul
Lyric motion of northern lights
Ephemeral beauty
Hold my breath to save the moment
Before this riptide sorrow
Carries me from your peaceful shore

I will remember your gentle correction
Migrant birds aloft in a silent sky
The ease of flight
Faith in knowing that angels and eagles
Are built to ascend
So are you….

I am broken now
But I will soar
In the afterglow of northern lights
Dear friend your words
Will light my path….
Forever…
10/29/2010
TL Boehm
For Dale and his wife...

I am falling
Carded wool and eiderdown
Muted hues in the resonant ghost of you
My words drift
Shadow soft before the deluge
Of an angry sky
I pray for rain
Even though I cower under cover of your grace
Myriad tears from heaven broken
Etch the epitaph and rune stones
Twist the light to brazen
Blanched in acid
Your brilliance blinds me
Sunlight spilled on fallow ground
I am soaked to the marrow
Weathered and weary
An the abyss whispers ever closer
Embrace the profane till the flesh burns ashen
Nati sumus solus et nos solus perire
Deo autem non est sine interiori lumine
You follow me sombrous through the maelstrom
Trade my hueless soul
For the ecstasy of light
In raptu lumine vestit me


we are born alone and we die alone
Without God there is no internal light
Clothe me in the ecstasy of light

TL Boehm
11/13/2012

I’m not your whipping post
I’m not your stepping stone
You think you got me cornered
But I’m not in this fight alone
You’ll find me standing strong
In the middle of the danger zone

You better bring your A game
Do the worst that you can do
Cuz I’m standing locked and loaded
This is war and I’m gunning for you
I’ve brought more than slings and arrows
My sights are set and my aim is true

This fight is a love thing
You will never comprehend
Rest assured the force that’s coming
Will put your armies to an end
Its ground you cannot take
And a position you can’t defend

Not even death will stop it
You won’t get what you came here for
You think that I am shaken
But I’m not afraid of you any more
You may **** but you cannot keep
I’m not your prisoner of war

TL Boehm
02/15/14

Cigarette ashes
Dun smudges of nicotine
the jaundice bits of addiction
I place the pieces
folding echos into epithets
dog earred memories that curl
brittle around my fingers
squeeze another beat from my heart
an exhaled dirge
the rasp breath timbrel
above the roar of life in my ears

I pan for gold
sifting splintered bones
for moments lost with you
Searching my haggard face
for your spectred resonance
I've become that thing I loathe
folding echos into paper chains
capture only damp impressions
of tears wasted
Am I just an echo
of your terminal refrain?

TL Boehm
12/7/10

Silent she slips in
Resolute the new day
Steps of eiderdown
Path rendered muted echoes
As sparkled snow sugars tongues of lovers
A petaled hand extended
Fragrant cherry blossoms
The blush
The rush
Will cupids lacquered eros wax
When the breeze of romance
Roars ferocious
Lions prowl on taloned claws frigid
Before the frail Paschal lambs
New birth awaits the cadence of spring rain
And jonquiled mornings pregnant with dew
Little girls skip minuets
Plait the maypole
Festive in buttered eyelet, whispered taffeta and crisp dotted swiss
Dreaming of castles and gilt armor
Bind this heart of mine in gold and champagne roses
Love and gunfire burst on the palette of the night sky
Sonic color settles shrieking freedom
The haze of summer days
The wind warm, your breath warmer
She languishes heavy lidded
Pine pitch fragrant in her hair and sweet strawberries in her mouth
Fireflies flit teasing
Tepid water waits for stain glass wings to grace the surface
Taut the day holds her breath
As rumbling thunder promises the cool monsoon
Chase away the dog days when the atmosphere clings heavy
Sleepless nights of croaking toads and the drone of mosquitoes
Breathless for the heady patter of rain
Herald the skies of burning blue
Above a cacophony of color
Cottonwoods in petticoats sunflower yellow
Crimson maple and dusted ash
Dance beneath the harvest moon
Thankful
Life is a gift to be unwrapped
Surprise exquisite
Like the first star sparkling on your horizon
At the end of the day.
TL Boehm
02/01/10

You are never happy
Again, he chants the sad mantra
Of a life spun out in threadbare patches
Pain etched in weathered eyes
Gray green like late summer grass
Burned by the whirring blade
Again she says…if only we were friends
Under breath held to quell the deluge of
I can’t be your everything
Then anything
You ever were is nothing
In the soft blur of days that drip
Empty windows scarred with the memory of
Rain.
And I
Am so brittle
Harsh light behind your eyes
Hostility disguised as loving correction
The caress of fire on kindling
My petty dreams the memory of smoke in your lungs
Just breathe me in
Shallow
Ripples across this thin skin
Break the surface tension
I ache to be something more than
Empty words
Penciled afterthoughts in margins
Eventually illegible
In the steady decay of days
I am never happy
Lost in the transience of you
03/11/13 TLB

Pretty girl with stars in your eyes
And the world at your feet.
You never gave another breath about me did you?
You never thought about the consequences.
Sad little awkward one that I was
With my toothy smile
Face peppered with freckles and imperfections.
You took the first chance you got
Grabbed that ring
Drank that koolaide
Whatever the mechanism was
You swallowed faster than a desperate pledge at a frat party
You’re on that perpetual joy ride
And I am left alone
To drown in the gray desperation that is my glass ceiling life.
How can you breathe in the thin air of your rarified sky?
I think of you and I hate you
like I hate burying a kid’s first puppy.
You left me with nothing
But an open wound where my soul should have been.
You can’t come back
And I can’t rise above
This little existence I’ve dug out with my own jagged nails
Hell may be too good for you but at least I know
The monster in the mirror is more real
Than that illusion of angels
I thought I saw in your eyes. Love is a witch of a mistress
You taught me well
TLB 031313

The exaltation of doves
Hope flung wild against the breaking dawn
A riot of light in a quiet sky
With the tenacity of crocus
Color breaks across the frozen snow
Heartsick I shiver
Waiting
For the warmth to reach deeper
Than my skin
Where frost sets in
Faith obliterated
This ****** of crows
Picks the bones of dreams
Ill conceived
In the rush of passion for peculiar things
The thrum of oily wings
Scatters ashes across barren ground
I am found
Empty
Seeking your face in the empty space between
This heart without hope
Isn’t worth any effort to save
Birth a dirge for faith cast in an open grave
No breath of life expressed from my lips
I’ve come to grips with this inevitable reality
Only you can reignite the burned out light in me  
TL Boehm
10/25/11

I have been a victim
Spattered by the saline spray
Of tears
Breakers crashing
The roaring surf
Blood in my ears rushing
Unable to fill the chasm
When dreams hit reality
Frail hope shatters
Scattered like gulls in the wake
Of a squall line
That dichotomy of sand and sky
Boundaries blur
Jetties endure the burden
Of the coming storm
This relentless tide hammers fragile shores
Limited ability to absorb the fallout
I find myself washed out to sea
Carried away
Forever swimming parallel to safety
Facetious hope a contagion
So acceptable to take on water
The annealing of complacency and stubborn faith
Simply a tonic for fools
I will be a victim
No more
My eyes are dry
I am weathered but unbroken
No more dredging the bottom for broken bones
And abandoned dreams
My reality waits
For me to stop treading turbulent water
And simply ascend
TL Boehm
01/01/10
© 2010

Sometimes it seems my world is so small
My POV - a bland wall
Studded with scant moments:
Digital whispers of my legacy
A young man's smile effervescent
Facing his future in cap and gown
My heart skips with that mix of ache and pride
Another man
Temples gray and that impish grin
The last birthday cake he ever shared with me
My hand reaches up but I cannot touch you, Dad
"Do you remember,
when it was like September?"
Pinned up equines splashing through surf
as I tick off the days

A frosted claret vase, left by some young thing
Silk flowers sunny yellow, cool blue and lavendar
Clay sculpted toothy worm monster poised to eat a boy
Look closer - he's peed in the pastel dirt
Random shots of blue eyed boys rest on my blonde wood desk
80's music drifting from my radio
Jungle green growth dances lightly
Draped on black steel file cabinets
My back to the window
Cars passing by
And the late summer sky
yes
My world sometimes so small
Lose myself in the crave of an electronic universe
Colors and light and words
So much warmer than the stale coffee in my cup
Strike a match and let it burn
away...
TL Boehm
091609

So I’ll tell you I’m a beautiful disaster
Stained glass prismatic in torrential rain
But the truth is I’m dull mortar and plaster
Crumbling walls in a house of pain
And the foundation sinks so much faster
Than I can shore up again

These gates guard no man’s castle
These walls are a prison cell
No shelter for love’s vassal
Just another room in hell

Set your flag upon the battlements
As the skies churn black to gray
No glory waits for all your time spent
As the hours bleed away
Lay siege to destiny hell bent
To render chaos on this day

Set fire to the tapestries
Where the spinner spun her tale
Destruction has her mastery
Burned out husks of walls so frail
I’d say I’d won but for the life of me
I only know how to fail.
TL Boehm
07/27/13

Is it divine dissatisfaction
Or just a chemical reaction
To a system overload
Run the meter to the red
Am I all up in my head
Do I shut it down or implode

Can’t settle for status quo
There’s so much more I want to know
This is not my reality
You can hang by your circumstance
Or cut that rope and take a chance
Could you handle being free

Cyclical day and night
Spinning at the speed of light
Lost in the blur of our lives
This black hole gravity
Has done its work on me
It’s a pull I can’t survive

So rescue me from oblivion
My heart is open to let you in
Change my linear destiny
No more victim of circumstance
Give me grace to take the chance
We were meant to be free
022214
TL Boehm

To my kids,
There is so much you do not understand in your skins. I could give you some kind of divine download, fill that thing between your ears with everything there is to know but then what choice would you have to live free as I intended you to live? I gave you the earth and everything in it. I created you in My image that you see with your eyes " male and female as partners " not slave and master, and that part of you inside that you don’t see, deep in you, its that part that knows Me, your soul and spirit. It’s that place we connect. I surrounded you with everything you needed. And before you freak out, all you vegans, I created the animals and I killed the first ones so you would be warm and covered when you chose to walk without Me covering you. Clothes were totally optional. You had Me, you picked heifer…still scratchin’ my imaginary beard over that one. You chose… Sure, I had angels in full body gear standing around " but I wanted you because I love you. I want your companionship. I want your intimacy. I don’t want your laundry list of “He’p me GAWT, but if it’s the only thing you can give, I won’t turn you away. If only I could get past your religion, your doctrine, your fears where you could believe Me, all the crap you put each other through would simply be unimportant. Some of you scurry around and scream about me and my Old Testament, bad ***, flood the planet judgment and you totally skip the part about how I sent someone to you, just like you, a real human with real blood and real tears to stand in for all the stupid stuff you’ll ever do or have done. It was so simple, one death, one sacrifice and we’re all clean but you have to work it and manipulated it and qualify it until denominations and gurus and Oprah and Chopra have your minds so twisted you couldn’t see Me for who I Am if I sat on a unicorn, clothed myself in grape leaves, and led the Macy’s Parade. Don’t you get it? I’m not mad at you. I don’t hate you. I am Love and I am incapable of hating you. EVER. All I ever wanted is for you to simply love Me back. You gotta trust Me. You can’t look at earthquakes and floods and famine and the rise and fall of the dollar bill as punishment from Me. All this stuff is temporary, except you, and Me. We are Forever. This planet isn’t your Paradise, kids. It’s just your training ground. I have amazing plans for you. And the sooner you grasp that, the sooner you stop swallowing the pills and the cheap thrills and stressing over the bills, and wringing your hands over “My will” the better off you’ll be. Oh, and as long as I’m monologuing, get off the backs of my worshippers. I’m perfect. You aren’t. I’d rather have you getting together in my name and singing and dancing, Kids your praise, when you just abandon your petty egos and party before me, it makes my heart swell with all the pride a Father could have. I’d rather see you do that " with the mistakes and the fussing " than each one of you alone under a tree somewhere barking about our “relationship” or watching the church channel 24/7 and calling it “comin’ ta Jeezus. I created you to work together in my name. Don’t freak out so much about the name of the building or the color of the wafers, or the drums and piercings. I will know if you love me. Quit running, quit hiding, quit comparing yourself to somebody else, quit blaming everyone else for your own mistakes when you never ask me to help you deal… Quit asking me to “fix somebody else” because if they like the thought of being critter fritters for eternity then that’s their choice to make, not yours. I do not impede on your free will. I won’t impede on anyone else’s free will. You can’t earn it. I don’t give out gold stars for good behavior. You either respond in love, or you don’t. The only thing I crave is that you get it, really get it. I love you. Always have, always will. You can’t do anything, you can’t **** enough, you can’t lie enough, you can’t destroy enough, you can go straight to Hell if you want, but I am everywhere…even in Hell…I’m with you. Of course, it will be your choice if you want to refrain, you know? See? Once you lock in your answer, you don’t get to phone a friend…You have a choice even I don’t have, me the almighty, the limitless with a limitation…you can choose to love…For me? It’s not an option…because I AM LOVE.

Your Abba....

She glides across the ice
Circling sparkles
Skates shush across the floor
Shimmering spray
Lights that play
Lithe dancer aloft she spins and soars
Gentle hips swing in the crystalline breeze
Pirohuettes descend
Tattooing lines
Etching ice pristine
Canvas clean
Sacred movement
Soul designs

This life is a fragile dancer
Clad in fluttering sunset hue
The rushing blood of a sweet romancer
A flood of colors in twilight blue
2006 TL Boehm

"when I find myself in times of trouble
Mother Mary comes to me
Speaking words of wisdom
Let it be
Let it be"

Solo notes set to rest
Crimson petals fragrant
Descants and refrains
Take the light
Take the floor
This image flickers
Suspended adoration
Sister mine

Forever singing in the secret
Sacred places
Unscathed, unscarred
Wild irish locks in ringlets
at your throat
grace notes and triplets
concrete streets and desert skies
While years and tears fall around me
I keep you safe inside

Weve weathered everything
casual insincerities
jealous suppositions
vicious cycles of friends and enemies and fools
Ticking clocks mark idle time
You so often the weary warrior
While I cower naked behind these words
Pray they say enough to cover us both
Passing off my emptiness
You fill it up
Give again
Feed my monsters fragile kindness
from your hand
You bless me more than you will ever understand
My sister Treasure
the forgiveness of a friend
All my petty dreams and inclinations
gathering dust at the end of the day
I slip away to that sacred moment
and you are there
I hear you sing again to me

"whisper words of wisdom....let it be"

Take the light
and you are free

for Terry - who gave me a second chance at friendship.
012209
quote from Paul McCartney Let It Be

I have a dream
The gentle tread
Cool marble beneath my feet
Sweet succulent scents laced in the lavender air
Velvet curtains parted
You there
Stretched out supine
A banquet of delights
you are mine
The rustling flutter of garments
Let them fall
Echoed wetness
Your hands leave their ghosts
On glistening walls
Cascading flurried ringlets
Tendrils of hair
Caught up in the excitement
Of you
And me unsullied
Pristine between Egyptian cotton
and whispers of skin
Place a kiss on the altar of we
This love begins
you know
I have a dream.
TLB
05/17/07

Your mongrel dog at my side
We swing gently
back and forth
faded redwood planks sigh
and the weathered grape leaves
Whisper a tired summer song
My bare feet brush cut grass
As I stare at your back door
waiting...
For the ghost of you to cross that threshold
Say my name one more time
Fill up the empty places you left behind
In my heart
My ears ring at the silence
Missing small talk about the trees
Heavy with fruit
and fuzzy bumblebees that drone
pollen laden bodies
burying themselves
in poppies she never planted
The sky burns aching blue
Like your eyes
Cloudless before the storm
The deluge will come
But not today
Mongrel dog in my lap
I let my thoughts swing gently
Back and forth
remembering you
and skies of aching blue.
TL BOEHM
for my dad....
090709

Broken, I crawl to you, dragging sins and shackles over barren ground
Offering nothing but putrid flesh and blood to satiate the hungry grave
No strength to raise my tear streaked face to Heaven
The wreckage of my life crumbling in your weathered hands
You could crush the shattered remnants of my soul
Beyond salvation, I lie lifeless waiting for your Sacred Breath
How long have you sorrowed as I wasted precious breath
Aspirations dropped like autumn leaves scattered on cold ground
My skin screaming curses and lies to fracture my temporary soul
Clawing the earth ferociously, I dig my shallow grave
Precious flesh and bone you’ve woven shredded in my taloned hands
I am lost forever falling far from your Heaven.
Yet in solitary moments you called to me from Heaven
My spirit cried out, I strained to hear your whispered breath
You broke my fall and sheltered me in your mighty hands
Dropping hope into my heart like seeds on fertile ground
You rescued me from my self made grave
You erased my shame and restored my soul
You remember the divinity within my soul
Reminding me I am a resident of Heaven
Never intended for eternal death in a shallow grave
You give me the spark of life with your Holy Breath
I am strong in you and planted on solid ground
You dress me in bridal white and cleanse this blood from my hands
And I will glorify You with every work of my hands
You are the mighty Protector of my soul
No longer condemned, I stand for you on solid ground
Sending sweet songs of adoration to Your Heaven
And I will praise You for your love with precious breath
You set me free from torment, from the grave
You remove the sins and shackles of a permanent grave
Remove the residue left by the ***** ground
And I will love you as you love me with every breath
I carry your Divinity in the center of my soul
Your precious sacrifice prepares a place with you in Heaven
My spirit soars no longer sentenced to return to barren ground
Your precious breath sets me free from the grave
Uplifted from the ground by your strong hands
The grave doesn’t claim my soul, I am yours in Heaven.

From the Vault of lost poems circa 2007/2008
TL Boehm

In fertile fields
Fragile blooms heavy with seed
Swaying lucid dreams
Coupled with a whispered destiny
Do you believe?
(Father forgive me for my sins)
I listened
Pulse quickening to the promise
Carried on transparent beams
the angelic rush of lesser light
Left me sightless
Blind witness to the culling
Harvest put to flame
Only aborted dreams remain
(My life ends where yours begins)

Fragrant flowers consumed
Emotional holocaust of volcanic ash
Scorched earth your cordial offering
Death is the memory of a smile
Shadows pass across your face
(Along this fractured path I race)
I let your passion burn within me
Fury, vengeance and rage
Your forever promise ever hellish
Echoes in my smoking soul
I let the sun set on my anger
(Falling far from perfect grace)
Let you shackle me with my own actions
My guilt a noose to snap my neck
You the author of defeat
another broken soul for your unholy altar
(resurrect this child from this dead end street)
I cling to life in the balance
Waiting

silence welling in the aftermath
Crescendoed message resonant
let go...let go...
Is there oblivion in the release
(place my spirit to worship at your feet)
Falling away from everything I know
The old man shatters within
(wash away my every sin)
(my life ends where you begin)
TL Boehm
05/29/2008

Lifting
Sweet summer morning
Silent before birds singing
Welcome sunlight rising
Slipping
Over windowpanes spilling
With the anticipation of daybreaking

I am listening
To your steady breathing
Softly snoring
Perhaps you're dreaming
Thoughts skipping
like stones dipping
Under cool water trickling
Toes skimming
Wavelets tickling
All your hopes surfacing
Love is believing
In you, knowing
Forever is in the learning
Two becoming
One destiny ascending
You'll find me whispering
soft secrets warm with meaning
between us nothing
more than this embracing
Sharing
This blessing
Of living
TLB 061208
From the vault of lost poems

I have fallen in to your words
Fighting the rip tide emotions
Plunged beneath the surface of your thoughts
Struggled breathless against the flow
That is you
I have fallen from my petty dreams
The roaring sound of waves and sand
Just an echo in hollow eddies
You swirl and rise with the tide
If I am only safe harbor then I am sane.
I have fallen from grace
On my face in the surging rivers of despair
And found fragrant waves of you there
Amongst the quiet shoreline
You leave me clean
I have fallen...into you.
TL Boehm 11 15 06

Do you know how much I love you
No second passes I don’t see
Do you know that you are priceless
You mean everything to Me

I know your heart is breaking
But my love is unbreakable
I know your world is shaking
Cling to Me I am unshakable

I put your enemies to flight
I stop the terror in the night
There is no darkness only light
I am your victory
You mean everything to Me

Circumstance veils your tomorrow
But I’ve written your destiny
If only you would look in the mirror
And see the you in you I see
If you would know how much I love you
You mean everything to Me

TL Boehm
11/20/11