I toed the edges
Of the crystal lake
Slid down muddy edges
Bitten by Eden’s snake

Now I dip my toes
& you laugh at my caution
You gently pull at my clothes
& I give myself to the passion

But I’ve never breathed
In sickly sweet water
Yet you pulled me in teasing
& my lungs began to falter

My chest yearns for the shore
I’m drowning in those eyes
There’s no air left anymore
I’m sick of honest lies

I laughed and thought, 'you should just kiss me already."

Am I here?
Because I can’t see a reflection
In those distant blue spheres
Only an empty projection

I feel the enormity of space
Between your skin and mine
Yet I can hear your heart race
As hands choking, entertwine

Am I here?
Because I don’t see my shadow
It began to disappear
Such a long time ago

In silence & bone
We both understood
To love was to be alone
& so we parted for good

We met on bourbon street
In 1942
With the trumpets bleat
We danced the whole night through

You went back to war
The very next day
But not before you swore
You’d be back in May

But May came and went
Back in 1952
& with each letter sent
came not a peep from you

Now I’m haunted
By 1952
This isn’t what I wanted
But what else is there to do?

We met on bourbon street
In 1952
I was the last girl you kissed
Before you ceased to exist

A cozy little lot
Our own very spot
With doors and floors
My drawers and yours

There’s a tea ***
For the earl grey I bought
And a French press
For your coffee express

There’s an old stereo
Playing songs from the radio
Peonies hanging in glass jars
In a home we call ours

It’s warm here
I know it will disappear
But maybe if I just believe
I’ll never have to leave

I was wild
& you preferred mild
But when I caught you stare
I suddenly didn’t care

So I knew when
You kissed me then
I couldn’t ever explain
Why I kissed you again

I could never understand
Why I grabbed your hand
& led you unplanned
Into a foreign land

You and me
Were never meant to be
You live inside the box
& I live to break the locks

When this life is over
& time has taken its toll
I again will be your lover
When death makes us whole

In the air, in the air
When I fall to the sky
It’s only then that I’d dare
To love you then & there

I hate you
No, no
I love you
Slower, slower

I hate fast
Slow down the pace
This cannot last
This fall from grace

Augment your fingers
Across splintered hips
Your taste lingers
On sugary lips

Submerge
Into red, red wine
Surge
You’re the cork

Slower, slower
I want this to last
Slow,    s l o w
This can’t ever last

You swallowed
And I swear I went down
Your throat

You gulped
And I swear you guzzled
Me up

You drank
And I swear every drop
Of me

You quit
And you swore to God,
To me

You relapsed
And I swear I’m trapped in
Your bottle

I was your chamomile tea
You were more an earl grey
I preferred a glassy sea
But you loved afternoon decay

I was your peppermint
You were my flickering glint
Of a late night summer glimmer
Before the sun began to simmer

I was your stirred Pacific
You were my churning Atlantic
& Although it seemed romantic
We were as sunk as the Titanic

I realized the other day
That poetry has become
How I color in the gray
How I scrape up the ****
And salvage it

At times I think it’s nonsense
Stanzas of here and there
Of love and its expense
A sad whispered prayer
To someone, to no one

But looking back
To how I wrote then
And how I crack
Like leaky pottery when
I write now

I understand
Who I was then
& How unplanned
time and time again
I find myself alone

They’re standing on the edge
Where sea gives way to land
They’re dancing, toeing the ledge
Of the dark and the white sand

They might be touching
No, no they are holding
Even more so  c l u t c h i n g
Two shady figures molding

An old man alone in his car
Stares out at an empty night
Imagines two shadows off not too far
Dancing in the fading moonlight

In ***** socks
& with rusty hearts
we’d swing off docks
Throwing mindless darts

Cooked deep tan
Freckled cheekbone
A sizzling dripping pan
We didn’t answer the phone

Swinging into a wide lake
On a salty afternoon
Restless but wide awake
In a humid summer’s June

Downing a bottle of wine
We stole from your brother
Watching the sun lick the horizon line
The night dropping in to smother

Can we go back to the days?
When we weren’t caught in this maze
But instead in the suns rays
We lived in a lovely blue haze

I’m the moon
Orbiting around your pull
I’m the humid june
Wrapped around you like wool

I’m the palm
Of God’s trembling hands
I’m a ticking bomb
The Saharan sands

I’m the forever
I said I never could be
I’m your latest endeavor
As alive as the Dead Sea

"Count to ten"
one, two, three, four
Someone closes a door
I'm surrounded by masked men

A gleaming silver knife
I hear my angel weeping
A mechanical cruel beeping
A sick, metallic life

Everything is so white
Am I dying?
&, if not, why is she crying?
She swallows, "Don't follow the light"

My mother is a shell
Fragile- it's not hard to tell
That her voice trembles in fear
When he yells for her to grab a beer

My own daughter
Thinks I'm fragile- weak
I'm not brave enough to tell her
His hands are too heavy to speak

On calle ocho
A cuban man with guitar
Saw us stumble out of a bar
& beckoned us to dance
...but we never stopped

Laughing, you were always laughing
We spun around and around
& I knew we were bound
to fall out of orbit
...but we spun on

Spanish sweet nothings
Murmured in my hair
A sweet lullaby- a prayer
I held on to each syllable
...but I never *understood

9/11, 8:46 am
The first plane crashes
an explosion of black ashes
Smoke blooms- a flower
from floors 93-99, North Tower

9/11, 9:03 am
The second plane hit
Hell split
Fire licks the sky
men & woman try to fly

9/11, 5:00 pm
A flag is raised
above the rubble's blaze
Buildings may fall,
but the flag stands tall.

When I closed my eyes
I’d see a world I despise
But when you opened me
I saw every beauty, every sea

I was blind before you
Dead before I held you
But you cut through
& finally now I see you

I see you-my little one
I should’ve said it was okay
That you were still my son
No mater if straight or gay

…but
I opened too late
You’d already chosen a fate
To hang on a wall plate
& close your eyes in hate

"Lights will guide you home"
she smiled
& The world around us
spiraled

Stars tangled in her hair
As she danced across the sky
Motioning me forward- a dare
I never thought to ask why

Her moonlit skin pulled me
To follow in the wake of her sea
& as we drowned in the sky
I kissed a world without her goodbye

As it turns out
Two wrongs don’t make
A right- I doubt
You’ll ever understand that

That in the end
It wasn’t meant to be
You were better off a friend
& I free

That meeting halfway
was just too far...
but I thought we could pray
the distance away

You were my ice tea
On a lemonade day
Honey from a bumblebee
On the patio of your cafe

You were the green grass
We smoked at dawn
The freshly mowed grass
We stretched our limbs on

You were my summer drink
Those strawberry lips
A raspberry pink distinct
With those cool iced hips

I am a walking glass
Transparent
An overflowing rim
I hope it’s not too apparent

Don’t tip me
I might just spill
Was it one drink or three?
I’ve drunk my fill

I’m your whiskey girl
Bubbling over
A sequined, beaded twirl
another lover

There’s frost
Still capped on your nose
Your heat is lost
A battleground froze

Unfreeze your hold
On corrupt conventions
Lined with gold
Misguided intentions

Open your eyes
To spring’s fresh sky
Melt  icy lies
& Give love a try

I daydreamed my way to the sea
                                                             ­   and made a sandcastle my home.

I’m addicted
To lying with gentlemen
Breathing unrestricted
To surface every now and then

Second amendment rights
Cigarettes & car rides
Away from bright city lights
In the dark society confides

An early morning fire
Pass me a burning ****
Bring me all the higher
Remove societies’ yoke

My mind was lost at sea
they told me sadly.
But, I don’t mind-
All I felt was free

My sanity misplaced in a drawer
behind some creaky locked door
But, It’s alright-
I’m not such a bore anymore

My head popped off one day
It off and rolled away
But, I’m doin’ just fine-
Becomin’ easier to color the gray

My chest opened wide
without a shred of pride
When you left me
my sanity died.

They clashed
with winter's twilight
On that gray wash day
too much a sight

You bought me flowers
in old Monterey
You brought me flowers
and I threw them away

I drink just to feel
What I had with you
I drink to bend like steel
I imagine you do too

I drink because I don’t remember
What actually occurred
That dark December
When shifty lies became blurred

Simple, right angles
Neat, no tangles
Safe, inside
Listen, law abide

Outside, undefined
Chaotic, unmined
Dangers, wide agape
Wild, the escape

Roses are red
Violets are blue
I'm still a lil'
In love with you

She a ballerina
Spinning through air
In her icy arena
To land anywhere

He a winter’s sigh
Searching through trees
To capture her in sky
On his webbed breeze

Love a fickle disease
That rises like the tide
To pull back when it please
& Leave the sky too wide

Mostly depressed
Slightly undressed
Pink lingerie
Egg white souffle

She stares, unaware
Of herself
But does not spare
Myself

From that agonizing beauty
Awe-striking allure
Of something so utterly
p u r e .

Forgive me I’m Singing
The praises of a stolen night
How your lips burned in spite
Of January’s lonely chill
When bottled eyes began to spill

Forgive me I’m caught
In the calm of sea glass eyes
Steam that slowly will rise
Your kiss, the cooking moon
Sometime in late June

Forgive me I’m staring
I can’t bring myself to stop
As hand in hand we window shop
Dancing under the harvest moon
Winter’s come too soon

If we only have a second
That’s all I’ll ever
Need

To kiss you on the mouth
& stalk your light
as if a moth

If we only have a minute
That’s all I’ll ever
Need

To murmur in your ear
a melody
of why I love you dear

If we only have an hour
That’s all I’ll ever
Need

To pull you in to dance
& teach you
of romance

If we only have a day
That’s all I’ll ever
Need

To sweep you off your feet
& parade
you down the street

If we only have a lifetime
That’s all I’ll ever
Need

To cherish you day by day
until
we’re old and grey

You don’t think the day you are going to get diagnosed with cancer is going to be a beautiful one. One that makes you want to sprint across the sand and dive under crystal water. You think maybe, as the sun envelopes your room, that you don’t have to go to the hospital today, everything’s perfect. That is until you stand up and nausea forces you to the floor and soon you are folded up into a car and shipped off to a giant white building with white doctors and white walls and white floors and white instruments. You don’t think you can be diagnosed with cancer, not today.

Rain kisses the pavement
Cigarette burnt fingertips
Your warmth is god sent
I taste the salt on your lips

Black umbrellas line the streets
Clam chowder and baguette air
Like a child tucked beneath crisp sheets
Adoration the only stitch I wear

Pacific Ocean’s salt
Rain soaked cheeks
Coy, loving, exalted
We could’ve survived like this for weeks

Numb me with marijuana
Grown somewhere in Tijuana
Excite me with a line
Pretty soon I’ll be feelin’ fine
Money can buy me happiness

Meet me in the back of the bar
Smoke that musky Cuban cigar
Touch me with manicured hands
Glinting diamonds of wedding bands
Money can buy me happiness

Traded morals for skyscrapers
A Hampton house with too many acres
Smoothing down in a velvet gown
Baby don’t you see? I own this town.
Money can buy me happiness.

Inch by inch, mile by mile
Won't you stay for awhile?
Moment by moment, kiss by kiss
I've fallen in love with this

With
Murmmers under flannel sheets
Dark coffee & chocolate treats
The non-space between skin and lips
The gentle curve of twirling hips

...but
Like the tide you pull away
Slowly sadly this cannot stay
Looking back you turn to leave
My heart still sewn to your sleeve

Sparkles litter the floor
I make my way to the door
Cracked open like the sky
I reach to close my dress
Never been guilty of saying no
Crimson shame’s burning aglow

On the coast
In a pickup truck
We made a toast
To unfortunate luck

You traced my hips
Whispering my name
With those chalked lips
A shiver ran up my frame

You held me there
Where land kisses sea
On a blue sphere
You fell for me

I care
It´s unfair
To miss
Every kiss
To cry       
About goodbye
                                Do you  r e m e m b e r?

That dark December
Cuddled together
In rainy weather
How it felt
Made me  m
                       e
                    l
                         t

                                                            ­           You said
                                                              “Come back to bed”

                     I ran away                                                             ­                     Into the gray

In the middle of winter
Plucked like a splinter

I fell    
         Into a spell
                                Scared
                    ­                          I cared
                                                              I love
                                                            ­               …Kind of

You’re a puzzle
Thousands of missing pieces
When I reach to hold you
I touch the missing spaces

You’re going nowhere
Awfully fast
Pedal to the metal
Hope this high will last

“Do you see me?”
Your mother snaps.
Can’t hear.  Ears
overflowing with schnapps

Addiction coded in genes.
Father to son it passes
The pattern continues
Passed along in ***** glasses

Walking on egg shells
Quietly falling through
A woman who never tells
Of her melancholy blue

Grab my waist
Pop a pill
Morals misplaced
Another refill?
Yes, please
Sit on your lap?
You’re such a tease
Bridge the gap
Your words are sticky
But your tongue sweet
A quickie
In the back seat
Hot box
Exhale and repeat
If the devil knocks
Tell him I’m long gone

Our politicians preach hope
While our nation struggles to cope
Stacking woman into binders
Deaf to all but hired reminders
Treaties & agreements for peace
While riots rage on in Greece
Told that we are doing just fine
As more join the food stamp line
American banks engorged with greed
Planting in free soil a debt ridden seed
The next Great Depression has already begun
& It matters not which candidate has won
With our cancer ridden healthcare
Attempts like duc-tape to repair
Voting to raise the debt ceiling
An American father kneeling
Praying to God to find a job
While outside “we the people” form a mob
The 99% chanting in the streets
Stubborn legislatures don’t budge from seats
C-span listens to recipes from cookbooks
A dull murmur of televised crooks
Unemployment continues to rise
Prophets sure of the world’s demise

A father quaffs spiked egg nogg.
& Somewhere in Prague,
a homeless man glows with real cheer
that comes with a gift of Christmas beer.

I’m hanging up my winter coat
Tea to soothe my aching throat
Slowly I’ll start to de-thaw
& Let this reality withdraw

I’m sparkling next to the lights
In my snowy white tights
Singing out a melody
About a warmth so velvety

I’ll carefully sit you
Underneath a Christmas tree
Just to make it crystal clear
You’re my present this year