#worthlessness
The words,
Bang,
Thud,
Echo,
in my head.
They trap me,
cage me,
weigh me down.
"You're stupid"
"You're worthless"
"No one likes you"
I'm imprisoned in my own mind.
Will I ever be free?
Mar 11, 2025
Mar 11, 2025 at 2:07 AM UTC
I feel that my presence as a human
isn’t needed much.
I don’t contribute much to life.
I’m slow at making lunch.
I’m not a big help ‘round the house.
I don’t make much money,
and I’m surely not an ideal spouse.
What is my purpose?
Bringing people joy?
That’s about all I offer.
I am just a toy.
I’m creative, but does it matter?
I’m athletic, but does it matter?
I’m resilient, but does it matter?
My presence on earth won’t last forever.
I’ll just become dirt again.
When I do,
then maybe I will matter.
Jun 20, 2023
Jun 20, 2023 at 11:53 PM UTC
I was there-
I emoted-
I read-
I tried-
But why-
can't anyone-
acknowledge-
the-
work-
the-
acting-
I-
have-
done-
?
Apr 21, 2021
Apr 21, 2021 at 10:55 PM UTC
Candles blow.
They die out.
The fire does
and consumes the candle with it.
The fire was the highlight.
Now it’s gone-
And the candle
suddenly lost its worth and value.
It now lays grief-stricken
And attached to the floor.
Refusing to let go
of their places in the show.
It let illumination enter our world.
And now it’s dead.
We scrape its place from the floor.
Scraping away at its existence.
For this one now and forevermore.
Nov 3, 2020
Nov 3, 2020 at 11:56 AM UTC
On the floor again
Unconscious again
I'm screaming for help again
Dad's working again
You have no memory again
The neighbors took us to the hospital again
Everyone knows your bipolar now
Everyone thinks my mom's crazy
She's not. Why do I have to fight to convince myself she's not.
Mom why do you give up?
Mom what's wrong!?
Mom is it us?
Mom is it dad?
Mom what happened?
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO LIVE?
The beeping monitor disturbed my thoughts
And there you were again
Yourself, with eyes wide open
And a weak body once more
Being told what you did to yourself
Sep 16, 2020
Sep 16, 2020 at 9:52 AM UTC
A plain featureless face lacking dimension.
Overwrought with a loud expression.
If I didn't have a mouth, people could still have whole conversations with me.
Clenched teeth turn into prison bars.
Incarcerated words mimic desperate inmates pleading guilty.
My tongue violently detaches itself and resorts to levitate.
Capable of only tasting a warm and overwhelming sense of irrelevance.
It curls itself up in corners It hadn't felt before until it dissolves in its own shame.
Apr 27, 2020
Apr 27, 2020 at 8:33 AM UTC
the open arms of my beloved
will welcome me no more
the coffee iris
shan't lay it's grace
onto my pathetic capsuled being
i have seen the passion fade
the laugh die away in the distance
i have to keep my distance
shame me
i am but a shell
of rotting flesh
and boiling blood
decomposing consumed meat and grass
i have been boiled down to the bones
that keep me intact
with the space and time
i wanted to banish myself from
being pushed to the limits
of my insanity and mortal body
Apr 7, 2020
Apr 7, 2020 at 9:02 AM UTC
I can't live anymore,
Breathe anymore,
think clearly anymore.
Be happy for a brief moment, that's when you try to own it.
What component in it is hopeless?
What percentage of it is worth it?
What factor damaged my purpose?
What is my purpose?
Sure I make one up, watch it grow, watch it flourish.
But how do I continue that purpose?
How do I not give up and feel worthless.
I already feel that way, but I think you've heard this.
Maybe you didn't. I did. Too many times.
It's carved into my skin.
Mar 14, 2020
Mar 14, 2020 at 3:27 AM UTC
all night I'm wide awake
these feelings I can never fake
the emptiness, the nothingness
tearing me apart in darkness
half asleep and I'm in this portal
everything seems like crucial
vexations are turning on
emotions i can't hold on
it all comes down in one setting
narrow, shallow and i'm panting
obscure and i cannot comprehend
so vague that I cannot see the end
floating away with my dreams
all the hurt and all the screams
trapped in this four cornered wall
linked to my own shadow; left with nothing at all
Nov 14, 2019
Nov 14, 2019 at 9:14 PM UTC
My thoughts smash through my skull,
bursting forth with a stream of words
that I can neither control nor stop.
Why was I created this way?
It is still never what I want to say.
No, that is reserved for the paper in which
I spend my days hiding in.
Diving into the endless recesses of my mind
to scratch and dig and pick out
a single strand of pain that filters
through the rest of my body,
so that I can feel raw and unbridled
as I scratch ink on the paper
in a scrawl that is nearly ineligible
not even I can read it.
So instead I let my fingers
go numb from gliding across keys,
so that all may hear my scream
instead of taking that pen and inking my arm
in red, red ink.
So much ink that it passes my skin and bleeds into my veins
just to mingle with the blood
and flow back out in rejection
of all that I was, and all that I am.
Oct 25, 2019
Oct 25, 2019 at 11:11 AM UTC
Moments like these are the ones I wish I didn't miss.
They are the ones where my days are so
dull,
blank,
black,
that I begin to think that death may be peaceful.
The moments when I can walk into a street
without looking both ways
and not care whether I make it to the other side.
These moments strip me of all happiness,
while a void that is so suffocating
I'd rather inhale liquid nitrogen
then continue the conversation I'm in, arrives.
When I can't feel the damp ground,
leaves crunch into my hair,
or the twigs digging into my feet
while I encase a corpse I didn't get to save.
The moments when things are as black as I imagine
death is...
I miss them.
Like an old friend,
or a form fitting pair of jeans
for me to walk around in
while I begin to miss the moments I feel alive.
Aug 15, 2019
Aug 15, 2019 at 9:16 PM UTC
I raise my hand
Everyone else gets called on
Except me
I’m overlooked.
I walk up to them
I want to talk to them
They turn to face me
And go over to talk to their real friends.
I’m insignificant
I wish I could blame other people for
Ignoring
Me.
But I can’t
I’m worthless
It’s not worth it
To acknowledge me.
These other people are not to blame
These happy few
Who run the world
I am not one of them.
I envy them
Why are they so
Significant?
So worth-full?
But I don’t deserve your attention
I don’t deserve love
As much as a strive, I will never
Be worth it.
It’s not their fault
It’s not your fault
It’s my fault
I shouldn’t have been born.
Overlooked
Meek
Insignificant
Worthless
I wonder why
My mother did not cast me aside
The moment she held me
The moment she knew I was wrong
What were her thoughts
In that moment?
Why did she think
I should be kept?
I think she thought she was
Doing me a favor
When in reality, she was only
Prolonging the inevitable.
Because of this,
I know who I am
Because of this,
I know I am worthless.
No one else knows this, though
I am surprised
I thought my inferiority oozed through my pores
But it doesn’t.
I thought they would be able to smell me
But they can’t
They look at me
And they do not know.
Wow
It seems that
I am so insignificant
No one can noticed my worthlessness.
I am insignificant
But I am here
Doomed to walk this Earth
Alone.
It is my curse for living.
Feb 13, 2019
Feb 13, 2019 at 5:00 PM UTC
mistakes make us
human
and as
i
make the same
ones
over
and
over
i
no longer
see mistakes
i see an unalienable personality
that i can never give up
im trying
to climb a mountain
that goes on interminably
don't worry the end is near
all i need to do is stop climbing
and fall...
Feb 10, 2019
Feb 10, 2019 at 4:02 PM UTC
I'm a broken car.
It's too expensive to fix me.
Buy another.
Dec 6, 2018
Dec 6, 2018 at 4:51 PM UTC
Worthlessness: The state of feeling unimportant and useless. This type of feeling is one that hits you directly in the center of your core, picking at your soul. One that makes your stomach feel saggy and your eyes like craters of the sea that over flows and blurs your sight.
Worthlessness is one that hinders the passing time as well your ability to move forward and it can come out of the void of extensive thinking.
It can cause your words to errupt and crackle off your tongue, only to be washed away by the heavy rain into a puddle of regret and sorrow.
All I see on the horizon is a dark blue hue that Cascades over the whole world.
All I feel is the bitter, frozen winds and the soft snow that numbs my skin.
All I can think of is black and grey clouds that wrap me up and block out any light that reaches out to me.
All that I receive for my rescue is a big brown ship that says "I'm sorry, the weight you carry is too much for us", then sails away, leaving me to drown in the middle of the ocean.
Nov 6, 2018
Nov 6, 2018 at 3:31 PM UTC
Why do I plan for the future,
When I won’t I’ve past twenty-one?
Why do I still bother trying,
When I just want life to be done?
They all say I’ll do great things,
Even though I can’t get out of bed,
So what’s the point in waking up,
When I feel I’d be better off dead?
Loneliness consumes my heart,
And sorrow consumes my soul,
So how can they see anything in me,
When my future’s as dark as coal?
They all say that they’d miss me,
But I know that they’ll be fine,
No one could ever miss,
A life as worthless as mine.
Nov 4, 2018
Nov 4, 2018 at 7:57 PM UTC
That got your attention
Didn't it?
Even though I am a stranger
Who couldn't possibly know it to be true
And worth is subjective
Arbitrary
Those who know you would disagree
And point out your merits
And you would weigh yourself
To realise that not all parts are equal
Who am I to say such things?
And yet you take the time to read it
Reread, incase you misread
In reading you contemplate it's truth
You are my puppet, and me your puppeteer
How could you be such a sheep!
Why are you amused?
Why does insult carry more meaning than praise?
It's easy to hurt.
Sticks and stones may break your bones
But words can make you think you deserved it.
We are social beings and so
We look for validation
But insult stands out
It leaves a branded mark in our brains
And so we spotlight it
Unfairly
Unjustly
It's easy to be sad.
But it's fulfilling to be happy.
Being positive is hard
But it's worth it in the end.
How could I possibly know?
I couldn't.
But I do.
And soon you will too.
What are you doing now?
You are reading!
Now you are smiling.
Oct 6, 2018
Oct 6, 2018 at 9:11 PM UTC
Do you stop and think about others?
Do you stop and think about others feelings?
Do you stop and think about the hardship?
Well maybe you should
There people out there
Hurting
Suffering
And you don't stop and think about it
There kids being bullied and abused
Open your eyes
The world doesn't revolve around you
You may not be able to fix the problem
But the least you could do is be there
Sometimes just having someone there
To listen and comfort
Is all a person needs
So next time stop and think and say to your self
"Is my life really that bad."
Then maybe you'll understand
Mar 26, 2018
Mar 26, 2018 at 8:03 AM UTC
time I missed a lecture
because I was too sad to breathe
duvet-weight pinned me to the mattress
and dread washed over my head
Jan 17, 2018
Jan 17, 2018 at 7:43 AM UTC
Why do the women I meet later make me feel unlovable?
Finding out that truth makes me unstable
It makes me feel this uncontrollable rage for the opposite ***
Just like that breakup I experienced thanks to my ex
Do I not deserve love?
Will I forever be alone when push comes to shove
It's heart wrenching to think I'll never be happy
I'll never have that someone that'll someday have my baby
Will I never have a beautiful wife to wed?
Just because the women of the world make me feel worthless and unwanted.
Jul 18, 2017
Jul 18, 2017 at 4:11 AM UTC