if-i-really-matter

I can't live anymore,
Breathe anymore,
think clearly anymore.
Be happy for a brief moment, that's when you try to own it.
What component in it is hopeless?
What percentage of it is worth it?
What factor damaged my purpose?
What is my purpose?
Sure I make one up, watch it grow, watch it flourish.
But how do I continue that purpose?
How do I not give up and feel worthless.
I already feel that way, but I think you've heard this.
Maybe you didn't. I did. Too many times.
It's carved into my skin.