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#sexualabuse
In the dark of the night he slithered in, With whispered kisses and borrowed skin. Soft were the hands that pulled me neer Love was the mask he chose to wear. But under the warmth a shadow stirred, A serpent silent, without a word. In tall night grass his hunger lay, Watching the lamb that lost its way. An untouched body beneath his gaze, A child still wrapped in innocent days. He walked my skin like stolen ground, While somewhere deep my heart would pound. My innocence broke without a sound, Like shattered glass upon the ground. Helpless was I, too small to fight, A trembling soul inside the night. His whispers coiled like venoms breath, Laced with threats that tasted of death. Speak and your world will fall apart, So silence buried a bleeding heart. Used like a toy at his command, A puppet pulled by a cruel hand. The years moved on, the wounds grew numb, Yet shadows linger where dreams should come. Even now in the quiet night, In cold sweat I wake from phantom fright. I ask the dark what I did wrong Why I was chosen all along. Why was it me and nobody else? Was I too gentle, too much myself? A wounded child beneath that spell, Still blaming the boy who never could tell.
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Mar 15
Mar 15, 2026 at 2:44 AM UTC
The Scars That Still Hiss
It just happened again I said I should finally make it stop I let it happened Now i look up into the mirror All I see is how dead I am My hands are shaking I then pull out a bottle To calm my self Drank it Numbed up Calm my nerves Splash my face with water Like water to a dying plant So I walk out the bathroom I walk as people looking at me But I go outside cause I need air I look up to see faces looking much happier Alive looking I sit down where there is a space I feel sick I put my hand into my pockets Holding a packet of **** Sparking my ligher in my pockets I start bouncing my legs Letting my hands dance The deep crushing pain I put my hand onto my heart I grip as it feels like my heart is bleeding My soul melting cause it kinda feel dead My eye start to feel like there will cry I hear someone saying Nick NICK You cool I look up to someone Someone I am hiding this to I mean I hiding to everyone I say Yeah People start asking you got gum I give it out cause I rather be the gum kid then kid that got ***** My abuser looks at me I fake myself I put on different side of me Then I rush to the toilet Threw up but there only sound and action in the air Nothing came out I sit there thinking The way I gave up My eye wetten I grip on to air I grasp for air As I feel my soul dying My brain deadly My heart gone I feel the floor Rotting inside my Body
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Mar 9
Mar 9, 2026 at 7:51 PM UTC
Trauma
I feel a strong hand on my breast, fondling it so, so gentle Another hand on my cheek, stroking it with such tenderness that it lulls me to sleep And the hands don't move in my restful state, They are frozen in the moment But years pass, and the hands melt Because now I am awake Now, my body is hot, burning with fury So blistering the room is up in flames Because now I see that the touch was neither gentle nor tender And that there were a dozen hands.
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Dec 24, 2025
Dec 24, 2025 at 9:29 PM UTC
Ephemerally Everlasting
Mystical Magical Stub your ankle on pine Feels like you spiked your spine Nerves striking your system Never ever friends with PTSD Yet brother decides to try to help Hands latching onto you It feels familiar You were on stage Never public Had your whole body to sell Grabbing Squishing Hands leeching onto your body Feeling your privates You were only nine for God sake! No matter how many times you kept saying "stop!" Or "no!" You felt hands on you You had no control Just pure grips Just pure uncomfortableness Yet, you'd never think that PTSD would kick in the *** After four years, did you seriously think you'd not have PTSD? Loud sounds trigger Hands linger All you can feel is you sinking Heaving breathing Panicked You can't breathe You feel like exploding You can't breathe You can't breathe You're crying like hell . . . You can't breathe? Don't you remember How your family member Would choke you, nearly making you pass out? Can't you feel their hands? How their thumbs limited your airway How their thumbs made your throat's airway smaller! Look at you! You seem so distressed! I'm not going to be here to listen to you! No one is! You're all alone on this problem! No one would care anyways
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Sep 16, 2025
Sep 16, 2025 at 10:58 PM UTC
Flash 📸🎭
I watch as you cradle yet another beast It's tangled fur and muddy face They would be enough to scare off everyone else But not you Oh, not you You reach out your hand to untangle the strands To kiss the bared fangs Because you believe in good Because it can still be saved I always wondered how could you be so trusting To put your palm in the beast's jaw You'd laugh off my worries Saying, there's good in every being You were right Until you weren't Oh you sweet fool All beasts were once pure But not men Oh not men But you didn't know that Or you did But you still did what you always have You still took him in Offered food, home, love And that parasite grew Until even you were not enough to devour I don't blame you But you didn't warn anyone That there's a beast of the worst kind in your house One that smells like ***** and cheap cigarettes Oh you didn't And I've paid for that That beast tore me apart When I was only growing It defiled me It made me scared So much we both forgot One from ***** one from fear I don't blame you But you can't save him Not him Because you can't save something that doesn't want to be saved It'll reap your throat out and still ask for more You can't save a man that ruins you You can only suffer with him Until he gets his hands on your niece that's six Oh how much I wish I didn't stay at your house that night It was filled with people But no one noticed How child's world shatters And yet You were never intimidated by any fangs You always wanted to pet every monster But you can't save something that kills What is left pure
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Aug 23, 2025
Aug 23, 2025 at 8:45 PM UTC
Beast (A man)
I watch as you cradle yet another beast It's tangled fur and muddy face They would be enough to scare off everyone else But not you Oh, not you You reach out your hand to untangle the strands To kiss the bared fangs Because you believe in good Because it can still be saved I always wondered how could you be so trusting To put your palm in the beast's jaw You'd laugh off my worries Saying, there's good in every being You were right Until you weren't Oh you sweet fool All beasts were once pure But not men Oh not men But you didn't know that Or you did But you still did what you always have You still took him in Offered food, home, love And that parasite grew Until even you were not enough to devour I don't blame you But you didn't warn anyone That there's a beast of the worst kind in your house One that smells like ***** and cheap cigarettes Oh you didn't And I've paid for that That beast tore me apart When I was only growing It defiled me It made me scared So much we both forgot One from ***** one from fear I don't blame you But you can't save him Not him Because you can't save something that doesn't want to be saved It'll reap your throat out and still ask for more You can't save a man that ruins you You can only suffer with him Until he gets his hands on your niece that's six Oh how much I wish I didn't stay at your house that night It was filled with people But no one noticed How child's world shatters And yet You were never intimidated by any fangs You always wanted to pet every monster But you can't save something that kills What is left pure
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55
Warning-This poem contains themes of self harm and suicide. What will it take for you to finally care? You never cared to ask how I was doing, and then when I ended up in the hospital, you were all over me, asking questions, and telling me I was going to be okay. Will it take my suicide for you to admit you were wrong for what you did to me? You'll keep lying to our friends until the day I die. Then, you'll feel too guilty to keep this lie going, and you'll cave in. Will it take me carving deep wounds into my skin for you to say you're sorry? When you see the cuts I know you'll ask me if I'm okay because your mom is worried about me. You know I'm not, but we're both liars here. Now I lay here, in my bed, covered in my own blood, wondering what will it take for you to listen to my problems, for you to apologize, for you to care, for you to realize you were a terrible friend to me.
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Aug 19, 2025
Aug 19, 2025 at 2:48 PM UTC
What Will It Take?
Warning-This poem contains graphic themes of suicide and self harm. I find comfort in suicide. When it's all your mind can think of, it brings you comfort, since it's just what you're used to. I find comfort in train tracks. It's the perfect place to slit my wrists with a razor, while imagining getting run over by an oncoming train. I can visualize my guts and blood covering the tracks, as I walk along and can only hope death comes for me soon. I find comfort in belts, such a simple thing that's a problem for me, because of the twelve times I've tried to hang myself with one. Now I can't even close my doors. "Can you keep yourself safe, Avery?" I find comfort with my hands around my throat. I gasp for air as I wait for my vision to go back. My face turns purple. I find comfort in the things you'd think would scare me. Suicide brings me the relief that nothing else has given me. Maybe if you knew what I've gone through, you'd understand too.
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Aug 19, 2025
Aug 19, 2025 at 2:42 PM UTC
Comfort
She ponders as she lies on the bed of roses, The thorns biting through her skin, Pellucid elsewhere, but the stem, Surrounding her, engulfing memory. How did she get there? She does not know, For this is all she feared. The bear on her chest leaves her to wonder: the caged giant now takes pity, Afraid it is of the petite beings, And afraid it is of the fiery flash it brings. Distorted creatures, partly seen through the iron rings. Does the beast ever pray to be elsewhere? She ponders as the trembling devours her. The puny-beast is now the prey, Behind the iron, it is caged. What is the difference, she wonders, as one twins with the other. At this breath she figures out the answer that wages war against eachother. Both the maiden and the beast would choose the bear. The irony of it—now she is aware. Rules of mankind she is reminded of: If a bear scares you, contain it. If she swirls your lust, cover it. Yet you cannot sustain—act on it. As the cotton turns scarlet, The world now turns aware. But it’s not the bear she fears. It is the cold-eyes that judges. As they still question the lass— That lies motionless as the wounds tear. "The bruin earned it!" accuses the chap. "It is cause of what she wears." She ponders as the coldness embraces, She lies as she sheds ruby crystals, Eyes turning hazy, feeling dazed, Losing feelings elsewhere, The only thing shading this pain is the sorrow-night’s weep ablaze. As she reaches the gate that awaits. As two ends near- Them and you, These biased questions may ascend: How old were they? What did she wear? How did they look like? Was she rare? But dare a man ask another, Why did you do this? Was it ever fair?
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Apr 1, 2025
Apr 1, 2025 at 9:04 AM UTC
Wounds That Weep with the sky...
She ponders as she lies on the bed of roses, The thorns biting through her skin, Pellucid elsewhere, but the stem, Surrounding her, engulfing memory. How did she get there? She does not know, For this is all she feared. The bear on her chest leaves her to wonder: the caged giant now takes pity, Afraid it is of the petite beings, And afraid it is of the fiery flash it brings. Distorted creatures, partly seen through the iron rings. Does the beast ever pray to be elsewhere? She ponders as the trembling devours her. The puny-beast is now the prey, Behind the iron, it is caged. What is the difference, she wonders, as one twins with the other. At this breath she figures out the answer that wages war against eachother. Both the maiden and the beast would choose the bear. The irony of it—now she is aware. Rules of mankind she is reminded of: If a bear scares you, contain it. If she swirls your lust, cover it. Yet you cannot sustain—act on it. As the cotton turns scarlet, The world now turns aware. But it’s not the bear she fears. It is the cold-eyes that judges. As they still question the lass— That lies motionless as the wounds tear. "The bruin earned it!" accuses the chap. "It is cause of what she wears." She ponders as the coldness embraces, She lies as she sheds ruby crystals, Eyes turning hazy, feeling dazed, Losing feelings elsewhere, The only thing shading this pain is the sorrow-night’s weep ablaze. As she reaches the gate that awaits. As two ends near- Them and you, These biased questions may ascend: How old were they? What did she wear? How did they look like? Was she rare? But dare a man ask another, Why did you do this? Was it ever fair?
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46
Thank you for trying to help me cope. Thank you for trying to offer me hope. But this wound goes deeper than the soul. It's the way the world is broken as a whole. You'll never know the crush to a little girl's heart; The shock and fear and disgust that starts When she learns how men will see her, How they'll fantasize on how to use her. When she learns her power is minimal And she's at the mercy of men who are criminals, That being in this body makes her a target, And her worth is decided in the beauty market. Every part of her free game to criticize, And valued only as she's seen by men's eyes. So forgive me if I have trouble believing That the world is better than I am perceiving. But my life is the proof that what I'm saying is true. Be thankful you can't understand all I've been through.
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Dec 23, 2024
Dec 23, 2024 at 2:57 AM UTC
Letter to a Well-meaning Male
There I sat throughout the trial, whilst they sat there in total denial, sprinkling their seedlings of doubt, believing the lies he would spout, throwing out everything I say, just so they could get their pay, without a care in the world about who they hurt, attempting to drag my name through the dirt, the questions made me so uncomfortable, with every answer I felt more vulnerable, objection! take a look at your reflection, you're happily defending a man like him, so that your wallet is a little less slim, giving no ***** about the future impact, dismissing it all as lies when really it's a fact, what would you do if it was your kid? would you still defend the perpatrtor for a few thousand quid? despite what I know is extremely true, at times I find myself questioning it thanks to you, I was just a child you had no right, to contribute to the nightmares keeping me up at night, did you ever see through his lies? did you ever eventually open your eyes? deep down did part of you believe me? but the cheque was something you had to see? you thought your performance was perfect, but guess what, it was a unanimous guilty verdict, and though it was the verdict I wanted, I'm still reeling at the verision of events that you concocted, each day in court chipped away pieces of me, and now it's him who gets to be free, I'll never forget how you tried to twist my story, in an attempt to bask in some glory
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Nov 21, 2024
Nov 21, 2024 at 5:29 PM UTC
The Lawyer
Because of you my life is tainted, By the hellish landscape that you painted, Sometimes I wonder how different my life would've been, If what I encountered had been seen, But it was behind closed doors, Leaving me lonely in the moors, My innocent heart, It was torn apart, All the fragments spread, And I'm at the mercy of the voices in my head, They so to move on you need to forgive, But you've left me with trauma I always relive, Sometimes I wanna **** you and scream "F#ck you!" And I know my parents do too, But you're not worth the time I'd have to serve, So I just hope one day you'll get what you deserve, Maybe one day I can tear apart the hell you painted, And leave my life a little less tainted
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Aug 12, 2024
Aug 12, 2024 at 7:00 AM UTC
Tainted
I feel so much pain inside knowing that you are married I literally couldn't see how horrible you were to me because you would mask it with fake kindness and because as a women I was more trained to see that coming from a man than from someone who was a close friend to me you met me at such a vulnerable hard period of my life I had just moved to a foreign country I met you at a shabbat meal we bonded over food at first when we met I was so attracted to you I thought you were so beautiful to me because in those moments you were . We would go out drinking and partying and although you were the religious one you would party harder than me I remember how so many times you would leave me for dead when we were around strange men in the bars and I would beg you to stay to not leave me I was so drunk I could barely move and you didn't care you only cared about having fun and not about me so because of you I experineced so much violence. I remember how I cried in those stairwells begging him to stop how I felt robotic how you left me all the time while promising to come back how you would treat me like dirt leave me on red and make up some excuses for why you are a shtty human ... now honestly , You never once said I am sorry until I begged it out of you, you would talk to my roommates who bullied me viciously, became their friends and even rented that apartment in that house after I moved out I saw that you got married and although I would like to feel happy for you all I feel for you is so much hate anger and so much immense pain I don't know why it took me so long to see how much of a horrible person you are a wolf in sheep's clothing and soon you will move back here and if I ever do see you again I would love to spit in your face and say Fk You! No more to letting people walk all over me and do as they please I don't wanna care about being liked anymore I'd rather be myself be safe and be around those who actually see for who I am instead of using me for their own jealous gain. Many times the ones who are the worst are the ones closest to you that you can't even see now I am learning to trust the subtle red flags that I feel when I meet someone so I don't meet a person like you again.
0
Aug 16, 2023
Aug 16, 2023 at 6:30 PM UTC
The sheep in wolves clothing.
I feel so much pain inside knowing that you are married I literally couldn't see how horrible you were to me because you would mask it with fake kindness and because as a women I was more trained to see that coming from a man than from someone who was a close friend to me you met me at such a vulnerable hard period of my life I had just moved to a foreign country I met you at a shabbat meal we bonded over food at first when we met I was so attracted to you I thought you were so beautiful to me because in those moments you were . We would go out drinking and partying and although you were the religious one you would party harder than me I remember how so many times you would leave me for dead when we were around strange men in the bars and I would beg you to stay to not leave me I was so drunk I could barely move and you didn't care you only cared about having fun and not about me so because of you I experineced so much violence. I remember how I cried in those stairwells begging him to stop how I felt robotic how you left me all the time while promising to come back how you would treat me like dirt leave me on red and make up some excuses for why you are a shtty human ... now honestly , You never once said I am sorry until I begged it out of you, you would talk to my roommates who bullied me viciously, became their friends and even rented that apartment in that house after I moved out I saw that you got married and although I would like to feel happy for you all I feel for you is so much hate anger and so much immense pain I don't know why it took me so long to see how much of a horrible person you are a wolf in sheep's clothing and soon you will move back here and if I ever do see you again I would love to spit in your face and say Fk You! No more to letting people walk all over me and do as they please I don't wanna care about being liked anymore I'd rather be myself be safe and be around those who actually see for who I am instead of using me for their own jealous gain. Many times the ones who are the worst are the ones closest to you that you can't even see now I am learning to trust the subtle red flags that I feel when I meet someone so I don't meet a person like you again.
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72
You cannot sleep? It will come It's the clock genes Just come over here and lie down with me Close to each other You are so sweet It tied knots in me that are not quite undone yet I was a saviour, an angel not yet used to her body, a child who does know heaven but not yet earth It recurred Anger grew inside me Powerless aversion It recurred And with others I lost my wings A worthless angel
0
May 27, 2023
May 27, 2023 at 3:31 AM UTC
Angry Angel
Uncle touches me, my ******* well, I will let him -- he's so pathetic.
0
Jul 12, 2022
Jul 12, 2022 at 2:13 AM UTC
[ Uncle touches me ]
Being silent was best Ham is strong and he threatened me with a fatal accident Then there was a child Oh, my dear husband the tireless naturalist of the fermented juice of sweet grapes His old age has been tarnished by that made-up anecdote which hid the rapes under a moment of shamelessness But the punishment betrays it anyway, the eternal curse from the first scream of the baby, innocent Canaan, my youngest son His generations to generation subjugated and squeezed to death in the purple lowlands
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Jun 19, 2022
Jun 19, 2022 at 3:55 AM UTC
Emzara's complaint
Shed.. my tears of grief, rested.. with my misfortune -- Forgotten.. myself.
0
Jun 19, 2022
Jun 19, 2022 at 3:46 AM UTC
[ Shed.. my tears of grief ]
𝗧𝗪: 𝗦𝗲𝘅𝘂𝗮𝗹 𝗔𝗯𝘂𝘀𝗲 . . . . . . . It wasn't until I heard Someone say, "me too" That I started to view That this pain was from you. And you. And you. And yes, you too. But especially... 𝘺𝘰𝘶. I came fractured and bruised. The deprecation of my self worth Started before you. I'd long since been used As a punching bag for others' Emotional wounds. So, when I met you... I was a perfect package Of cracked porcelain Just pretty enough To salvage. Your attention and approval Became my food. Like a flower needs the sun I thought that without you Shining on me That I'd be all for none. Your claws dug deep in my belly, And mine into yours. Validating eachother, In a toxic swirl. You in the center, Creating a world, Where "no" has no weight, Coming from a young girl. "You're so pretty" you said. My skin was like rice paper. "I love the curls on your head" My throat was titanium. "Come sleep in my bed." My stomach turned sideways. I had told myself enough times by now, "This is what you signed up for, So you'd better allow. It comes with the territory." I believed this somehow. I attached so much of myself to you. Addicted to the magic, scattered in with the abuse. The pleasure in the pain, Covering up the dark truth. So well, I couldn't tell That we were actually living In some kind of hell, Being sold to us As love and friendship, But it was just a shell For dead end ******** Sometimes I find I look back To these times reminiscing, But then all I can think is, "𝘞𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘧𝘶𝘤𝘬 𝘸𝘦𝘳𝘦 𝘸𝘦 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘬𝘪𝘯𝘨?" Cause now I sit here and wonder, Why did I have no edge? I had lost the understanding of what A "no" feels like in bed. It took me years to cut you off. 𝗧𝗲𝗻 to be exact. All this time I've hidden These dark secrets of the past. Not even realizing It was fear Holding me back. Not even realizing That this **** Fed how I act. 𝗜𝘁 𝘁𝗼𝗼𝗸 𝟮 𝘆𝗲𝗮𝗿𝘀 𝘂𝗻𝘁𝗶𝗹 𝗜 𝗰𝗼𝘂𝗹𝗱 𝘂𝘀𝗲 𝘆𝗼𝘂𝗿 𝗻𝗮𝗺𝗲 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝘄𝗼𝗿𝗱 "𝗮𝗯𝘂𝘀𝗲𝗿" 𝗶𝗻 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝘀𝗮𝗺𝗲 𝘀𝗲𝗻𝘁𝗲𝗻𝗰𝗲. How brain washed is 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵? Ever since I dug your Claws out of my belly, My wounds began to heal And i started to see fully, This relationship with you - You were nothing but a bully. 𝗔 𝗯𝗿𝗼𝗸𝗲𝗻 𝗵𝗲𝗮𝗿𝘁 𝗯𝘂𝗿𝗶𝗲𝗱 𝗶𝗻 𝗯𝗹𝗮𝗰𝗸 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝗯𝗹𝘂𝗲. I've liberated myself from you. And all the guilt and shame. Understanding now, Why so long I played your game. I've taken back my power, and I've taken back my name. I'm not a victim of abuse. I'm a raging, healing flame. Burning down what you became. Ashes are easy to blow away. I rid of you and I'm on my way. No longer afraid, Of the monsters in the night. Because, guess what? I know what a '𝘆𝗲𝘀' feels like. Mica Light
0
Apr 27, 2022
Apr 27, 2022 at 4:56 PM UTC
Me Too
𝗧𝗪: 𝗦𝗲𝘅𝘂𝗮𝗹 𝗔𝗯𝘂𝘀𝗲 . . . . . . . It wasn't until I heard Someone say, "me too" That I started to view That this pain was from you. And you. And you. And yes, you too. But especially... 𝘺𝘰𝘶. I came fractured and bruised. The deprecation of my self worth Started before you. I'd long since been used As a punching bag for others' Emotional wounds. So, when I met you... I was a perfect package Of cracked porcelain Just pretty enough To salvage. Your attention and approval Became my food. Like a flower needs the sun I thought that without you Shining on me That I'd be all for none. Your claws dug deep in my belly, And mine into yours. Validating eachother, In a toxic swirl. You in the center, Creating a world, Where "no" has no weight, Coming from a young girl. "You're so pretty" you said. My skin was like rice paper. "I love the curls on your head" My throat was titanium. "Come sleep in my bed." My stomach turned sideways. I had told myself enough times by now, "This is what you signed up for, So you'd better allow. It comes with the territory." I believed this somehow. I attached so much of myself to you. Addicted to the magic, scattered in with the abuse. The pleasure in the pain, Covering up the dark truth. So well, I couldn't tell That we were actually living In some kind of hell, Being sold to us As love and friendship, But it was just a shell For dead end ******** Sometimes I find I look back To these times reminiscing, But then all I can think is, "𝘞𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘧𝘶𝘤𝘬 𝘸𝘦𝘳𝘦 𝘸𝘦 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘬𝘪𝘯𝘨?" Cause now I sit here and wonder, Why did I have no edge? I had lost the understanding of what A "no" feels like in bed. It took me years to cut you off. 𝗧𝗲𝗻 to be exact. All this time I've hidden These dark secrets of the past. Not even realizing It was fear Holding me back. Not even realizing That this **** Fed how I act. 𝗜𝘁 𝘁𝗼𝗼𝗸 𝟮 𝘆𝗲𝗮𝗿𝘀 𝘂𝗻𝘁𝗶𝗹 𝗜 𝗰𝗼𝘂𝗹𝗱 𝘂𝘀𝗲 𝘆𝗼𝘂𝗿 𝗻𝗮𝗺𝗲 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝘄𝗼𝗿𝗱 "𝗮𝗯𝘂𝘀𝗲𝗿" 𝗶𝗻 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝘀𝗮𝗺𝗲 𝘀𝗲𝗻𝘁𝗲𝗻𝗰𝗲. How brain washed is 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵? Ever since I dug your Claws out of my belly, My wounds began to heal And i started to see fully, This relationship with you - You were nothing but a bully. 𝗔 𝗯𝗿𝗼𝗸𝗲𝗻 𝗵𝗲𝗮𝗿𝘁 𝗯𝘂𝗿𝗶𝗲𝗱 𝗶𝗻 𝗯𝗹𝗮𝗰𝗸 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝗯𝗹𝘂𝗲. I've liberated myself from you. And all the guilt and shame. Understanding now, Why so long I played your game. I've taken back my power, and I've taken back my name. I'm not a victim of abuse. I'm a raging, healing flame. Burning down what you became. Ashes are easy to blow away. I rid of you and I'm on my way. No longer afraid, Of the monsters in the night. Because, guess what? I know what a '𝘆𝗲𝘀' feels like. Mica Light
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106
Her small round face stares back at her Blinking blue eyes in the bright blue light and She looks around knowing it’s wrong but not daring to ask why While chubby pale fingers type in the line “Chat rooms for kids” She know that she is not yet old enough to be here She’s only nine but she checks the box to assure the website that, yes, She is 18 years old or above and, yes, She understands that there is adult content present inside of this room and, yes, Child **** is not permitted beyond this door. But to a nine year old these letters on the page are meaningless. She doesn’t know what adult content is or even how to Pronounce the word *********** precisely. All she knows is that in a matter of clicks She will mean something. She will mean something, and she will have worth. She will be loved and cared for and praised and called a Good girl, a Babygirl, a Kitten, a Beautiful Stunning Delicious looking darling. She learns new vocabulary terms but instead of words like C-C-Contrast or T-T-Typical or D-D-Difficult She begins to ingrain in her brain new and exciting words like C-C-Cock or T-T-Tits or D-D-Dick. She even learns how to use these fancy adult-y adultery words in a sentence like “How big is your C-C-Cock?” and “I don’t have T-T-Tits yet” and “I want to touch your D-D-Dick”. And with every letter her tiny hands typed out, more and more men Flocked to her DMs, ready to give her all the love she could ever need if only In exchange for a couple of things… Will you do a dance for me? Will you say this sentence for me? Why don’t you take your shirt off for me? Show me what such a big girl can do with that P-P-Pussy. And she continues to learn new things such as that ASL means age, *** location and that anything above 7 inches is A good and impressive and “wow” thing and that If she does what these men on the screen ask her to then She will make them happy, which makes her happy, which means that she has done good. And she learns that certain ways she moves makes them happier And certain poses she can do allows them to show her their magic trick. She doesn’t know how the magic trick works but it doesn’t matter because When they perform their magic trick they thank her And praise her and say nice things to her and That’s all she really wanted. She found a home in that cream colored background of Www . chatavenue . com and she knew that even when the world Was against her sweet, innocent nine year old self that she could Turn to that blinking cursor and type a few letters and be able to Feel loved. And that was all she really wanted.
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Sep 5, 2021
Sep 5, 2021 at 6:42 PM UTC
Hell is a Computer Screen
Her small round face stares back at her Blinking blue eyes in the bright blue light and She looks around knowing it’s wrong but not daring to ask why While chubby pale fingers type in the line “Chat rooms for kids” She know that she is not yet old enough to be here She’s only nine but she checks the box to assure the website that, yes, She is 18 years old or above and, yes, She understands that there is adult content present inside of this room and, yes, Child **** is not permitted beyond this door. But to a nine year old these letters on the page are meaningless. She doesn’t know what adult content is or even how to Pronounce the word *********** precisely. All she knows is that in a matter of clicks She will mean something. She will mean something, and she will have worth. She will be loved and cared for and praised and called a Good girl, a Babygirl, a Kitten, a Beautiful Stunning Delicious looking darling. She learns new vocabulary terms but instead of words like C-C-Contrast or T-T-Typical or D-D-Difficult She begins to ingrain in her brain new and exciting words like C-C-Cock or T-T-Tits or D-D-Dick. She even learns how to use these fancy adult-y adultery words in a sentence like “How big is your C-C-Cock?” and “I don’t have T-T-Tits yet” and “I want to touch your D-D-Dick”. And with every letter her tiny hands typed out, more and more men Flocked to her DMs, ready to give her all the love she could ever need if only In exchange for a couple of things… Will you do a dance for me? Will you say this sentence for me? Why don’t you take your shirt off for me? Show me what such a big girl can do with that P-P-Pussy. And she continues to learn new things such as that ASL means age, *** location and that anything above 7 inches is A good and impressive and “wow” thing and that If she does what these men on the screen ask her to then She will make them happy, which makes her happy, which means that she has done good. And she learns that certain ways she moves makes them happier And certain poses she can do allows them to show her their magic trick. She doesn’t know how the magic trick works but it doesn’t matter because When they perform their magic trick they thank her And praise her and say nice things to her and That’s all she really wanted. She found a home in that cream colored background of Www . chatavenue . com and she knew that even when the world Was against her sweet, innocent nine year old self that she could Turn to that blinking cursor and type a few letters and be able to Feel loved. And that was all she really wanted.
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I sit alone most nights abandoning all emotion asking myself why did he do this to me... I ask myself every night as the darkness engulfs my brain... As I lie awake at night to prevent the nightmares from taking over I ask myself so many questions... Oh Yes my dearest reader I ask myself so many horrible Why did his fingers reach for the forbidden honey located so deep within my soul? I have thoughts that fill my brain with darkness Poisoning it with toxic thoughts... Destroying it with the memories…… Why did his fingers reach for the forbidden honey Located so deep within my soul? I remember how His tongue was sharp with the words he said How his words stung like the killer wasp of Africa I remember everything he said Each word cutting my soul like a blade Why did his mouth degrade me so? I remember the abuse How his His tongue buried deep inside me It was like a maggot burrowing into rotting flesh I remember it all Why did his mouth degrade me so Again I lie awake As I trace the lines on my skin left by his fingers I remember every touch Every bruise he left behind I remember it all I remember the pain and the stress I remember the agony of being trapped under his touch and yet all I could bring myself to say was Why did he degrade me so?
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May 26, 2021
May 26, 2021 at 2:35 PM UTC
The Broken Soul Of A Survivor
I wash your sins within me I heal and nurture them not for you, and one moment on your long list. I cleanse your transgressions for me and for her, and our daughters and their daughters. In the undercurrent of my being, I bathe my wound and swim and search for a way forward, because what is existence if not time pulling us along? - I think I was born into this life a healer. To feel this shared pain and see its shadows as if light, reflecting and dancing against a wall, creating constellations of heartache. I see now my purpose, to connect with the heavens unknown from this earth so this wicked energy may leave this world. And us. To nourish each other, so that we can choose to transcend pain a human existence, where love and its triumphs, and deepest darkest of pitfalls coalesce into this flesh to cross both space and time to make generations. This flesh, that I now wear proudly, albeit timidly at times. This paradox, I want for her too.
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Apr 13, 2021
Apr 13, 2021 at 1:45 PM UTC
The healing
I'm sad. And that's okay. This heaviness in my heart is not mine alone, I carry it for my mother and my father and his mother I carry it for her husband who quickly became the demon sleeping in the shadows that then became a stain who's faint edges still linger. Deep and bruised like my heart after that day confused and oh, so green I was already shedding my innocence, but you stole hers in one moment. And for this she starves herself of nourishment of unadulterated joy her body, something she feels shame about all because you thought every body was yours to be played with.
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Mar 19, 2021
Mar 19, 2021 at 8:06 PM UTC
The hurt
Oh mama I tried my best Danced across the lawn Oh mama I was not blessed Heart sang until dawn Your protector held me close Casual conversation with a hand below From open door she took off her clothes Trust was broke—buried under snow Like a sister only she was bruised Another had tainted the shell How could she have known This was just another hell In youth he was my friend Held me to his chest Innocent yet I felt shame Was this more evil than ****** Oh how I thought I could pretend Poetry on a doormat Mama would that make you proud If I were as tame as a house cat I grew older and tried even harder She smiled and I bowed Oh my stars it was so strange Lips silent while my soul was loud Oh mama here am I More me than I've ever been Oh mama can you see (Oh mama can't you see) I ignite the night like a firefly Oh mama he broke my heart Made me happy until I thought I'd break (Made me happy, made me shake) Oh mama he turned away Love twisted like a snake Oh mama I’m a monument Chiseled by loss, painted in pain Oh mama I love you so I am onyx now—do not lament Children, she is magic She smirks with a spark Children, she is a celestial body A matriarch Oh mama I tried my best Well-taught by you Oh mama I am blessed Spell is broken Truth is spoken Life awoken From the ground Something springs up Anew
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Feb 15, 2021
Feb 15, 2021 at 9:04 PM UTC
An Open Letter
Some people say love is the most extravagant feeling in the world People in bad situations would probably disagree People domestically abused, and everyone unconcerned They really hope one day they can just be free But can they? No hope, no help, nobody to guide them out The feelings of, anger, sorrow and, betray Even when out of these situations there is still doubt I hope the pain goes away, but that’s something I simply can’t control You can't rule me like a ******* gaming console You stole everything from me My, laughter, love and smile Things I won't have back for a long while
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Feb 9, 2021
Feb 9, 2021 at 1:31 PM UTC
Domestic Abuse