Hello Poetry
Submit your work and get some sparkles! Create free account
#overweight
im tangled, wrapped in tape measures that will never read what i desire im glued onto a scale which determines my worth OVERWEIGHT to watch the numbers lower would be a miracle. all my sacrifices paying off... but you're sick sick with something killing you something that must be fixed force feed me till i can't fight back FAILURE then i return to the sorry old loop one that continues as it determines my worth.
0
Mar 19, 2025
Mar 19, 2025 at 12:31 AM UTC
loop
Do you ever feel so ugly in your own skin? Where you pinch and grab at your physical reasons to hate yourself All the taunts and cruel phrases relive in your jiggles You fad diet yourself into comfort, Only to be reminded of your deep scars as you catch a glimpse in the reflection You strive for societal perfection as you let yourself slip into a cracked version of someone you were The fear that happiness is gone for good And this is all that's left
0
Jul 5, 2019
Jul 5, 2019 at 1:06 AM UTC
Fat
He says that I'm enough, that I'm cute, that he likes me just the way I am, but I'm sure that's not true. I say I want to lose weight, that it's better for my health and this isn't the body I wanted for myself. He says I'm beautiful just the way I am, but I don't remember asking if I was ugly. I'm sure he means the best, but what's wrong with not feel comfortable in your own skin? I didn't always look this way so why start now? Chubby is cute, but not for everyone; at least not for me.
0
Sep 5, 2018
Sep 5, 2018 at 9:00 AM UTC
Inner Thoughts from a Chubby Girl
I binge eat on all possible junk food, It inexplicably elevates my mood, Now trapped by people ceaselessly commenting on my increasing weight, Does anyone else feel like they are putting food in a body they now absolutely hate? I can’t stop.
0
May 30, 2018
May 30, 2018 at 2:47 PM UTC
OVERWEIGHT
needle thin wrists , and a thigh gap as big as the Pacific Ocean . slender neck , and colar bones as sharp as knives. a flat stomach , and legs that look like sticks . those are the things i dream being.
0
May 25, 2018
May 25, 2018 at 1:56 PM UTC
under
Bigger things are easier to see. You might miss a humming bird or bee. You won't miss a condor or eagle. The opposite is true for people. How can that be? If there's more of me, why am I impossible to see? Invisibility isn't a cloak or spell. It's your fat pants stretched thin and worn as hell. It's the T-shirt you never thought you'd fit now threadbare and torn in the armpit. There's just more of you to love, I thought the saying went. Well there I was feeling only torment. Faces fell when I said no, I'm not pregnant. Does love bloat like this body of mine? Does it get watered down like cheap wine? My back, my legs, everything hurt. My body just didn't work. If not by plane, by train, or car, I wasn't getting very far. I longed for someone to scoop me up, to cradle me and gently rock. I didn't fit in anyone's arms and briefly flirted with self harm. Twice at work I took to crying. It went unnoticed without my trying. The wrong solution looked too friendly and as of late, far too trendy. Left alone I pondered fate. If I died, I'd be dead weight. I felt stuck forever like dried cement. Sinking too low even to lament. I watched my waist size raise and fall with the tides. If the full moon swells with admiration, why was round me full of desperation?
0
Apr 16, 2018
Apr 16, 2018 at 10:21 AM UTC
Invisibili-T
There is a cat in my home, and slowly it has grown fatter from feasting on food that I own. I go to work every day, so theres no possible way that this cat could look for pray. Yet still, somehow, when I return, he's stuffed. Belly filled with pizza crust he looks as if he'll bust. Somehow he finds a way outside, where he roams to neighbors homes to fill up on old turkey bones. Second breakfast and for lunch this hungry cat would munch, till diner came, then the game would change and just like that this cat would be back. In the morning when I leave, this cat would beg that I come home with fishes. The begging grew bad, so I'de do exactly as she wishes. Heres the trouble: I feed her once, shes still hungry, so i feed her double. Hours of her mighty meow. Her, just sitting there constantly, bellowing just like a cow, until I provide her with her chow. Now, I tried feeding her less and getting her to run but Im just competing with my stress when that cats not having fun. She would sit and moan, Oh the noises she'd groan as Ide remove her from the cushion she had claimed as her thrown. After this cat had Disowned me, I had learned just like that, that infact it was actualy the cat who had owned me. See cats are a beast of nature, there a creature that can not be tampered. So when theyve been pampered and foods been delivered, you can bet a strong bet that this cat will expect to be treated with the  best packaged liver from a duck that Wal-Mart can deliver.
0
Feb 25, 2018
Feb 25, 2018 at 11:53 AM UTC
Cat
She could see her arm through the sleeves of her dress They rested so far from one of the sides And yet the mirror said she needed to be more light. Most of the days She was afraid she would be too much For a guy to own Her heart had long been strangled By her load And so she no longer ate. But, here she was months later Owning half of what she had And yet carrying too much , Her heart was a bit afloat But still dragged was her soul For the mirror said She needed to be more hollow. Her ribs poked her chest, She felt them with her fingers When she was in her room alone, No one could see them, She wouldn't let anyone so close But she wondered if they could feel those bones Maybe they would have considered her light. Undressed after a bath She would turn around at the mirror Gazing at her backbone- gazing back . It was all so clear now You could almost count the bones Yet the mirror said she must be a bit more hollow. Her hands were now so much more thin You could hold them in the stretch of your thumb And maybe your little finger And even though you would laugh at her length She would be scared by your touch So that you do not know. Of all the things she lost, Her sullen cheeks to her coat, Her smile was the thing she misses most. Now her smile was too empty, Previously it was fastened to her face Now the hollow mouth almost appears As if her smile would just fall of, She is now shy to smile She often wonders back to the day When that guy had said She had a beautiful smile. But you wouldn't know Photographs never really captured her Now not anymore. She often stumbles now, Lighter to her feet She does get up herself, But she wonders now and then If it had been because most of her Was now gone. So vacantly, emptily she walks A few watch her go, The world is the mirror With no memory of the past, It still calls her heavy With no appreciation of what she has become. She has lost herself And the world needs her To lose herself more. She wonders if it's time To have their demands finally denied. How much more could she afford to lose ? How long until she dies?
0
Apr 16, 2017
Apr 16, 2017 at 3:16 AM UTC
Recover
She could see her arm through the sleeves of her dress They rested so far from one of the sides And yet the mirror said she needed to be more light. Most of the days She was afraid she would be too much For a guy to own Her heart had long been strangled By her load And so she no longer ate. But, here she was months later Owning half of what she had And yet carrying too much , Her heart was a bit afloat But still dragged was her soul For the mirror said She needed to be more hollow. Her ribs poked her chest, She felt them with her fingers When she was in her room alone, No one could see them, She wouldn't let anyone so close But she wondered if they could feel those bones Maybe they would have considered her light. Undressed after a bath She would turn around at the mirror Gazing at her backbone- gazing back . It was all so clear now You could almost count the bones Yet the mirror said she must be a bit more hollow. Her hands were now so much more thin You could hold them in the stretch of your thumb And maybe your little finger And even though you would laugh at her length She would be scared by your touch So that you do not know. Of all the things she lost, Her sullen cheeks to her coat, Her smile was the thing she misses most. Now her smile was too empty, Previously it was fastened to her face Now the hollow mouth almost appears As if her smile would just fall of, She is now shy to smile She often wonders back to the day When that guy had said She had a beautiful smile. But you wouldn't know Photographs never really captured her Now not anymore. She often stumbles now, Lighter to her feet She does get up herself, But she wonders now and then If it had been because most of her Was now gone. So vacantly, emptily she walks A few watch her go, The world is the mirror With no memory of the past, It still calls her heavy With no appreciation of what she has become. She has lost herself And the world needs her To lose herself more. She wonders if it's time To have their demands finally denied. How much more could she afford to lose ? How long until she dies?
Continue reading...
68
I am not overweight Yet I don't love being a size eight The media criticizing me Hypnotizing me Making me feel unimportant I know you sympathize with me But I am worth it Part of Gods eternal purpose My thick thighs Are beauty in His eyes And I don't have to worry about being unworthy When I'm giving God the glory he deserves My self image is perseved By Genesis 1:27 Or Ecclesiastes 3:11 He is constantly reminding me That world is full of lies Hiding behind the guise That I need to change Or rearrange myself to be loved This is untrue The God of heaven and earth Created and loves me And everyone of you
0
Oct 8, 2016
Oct 8, 2016 at 6:08 PM UTC
Beauty of Thick Thighs
my subject, mrs. ((brown?)) for this speech is going to be: obesity. ish. you see I remember the article you handed out to us, loos-leafed, fresh-pressed, a dry white piece that told, in simplest terms, the most inarguable & bland facts about !healthy eating & !weight loss! but mrs ((whatever)), I want to tell n and the entire ******* crisp class, that obesity is a load of steaming **** from someone who’s really fucki ng sick (you know how much better it stinks then) that obesity was made to be glorified, I don’t tell you this— I ****** jiggle it to you, grab my santa clause puch and shove it at you-- tick tock we wait for the clock to tell us what s to come, except it makes us guess --see this: a mid-age woman, mother, fat & previously fat, goes in for stabbing pain in the chest, or chronic diarrhea, seeing stars & no energy left. ((this happens)) the doctor says, well let’s weigh you n see if you’ve lost the weight I told you to lose before remember Sharol now Sharol..,,,, sweety….. you weigh 55.62 lbs over the state-set “healthy limit”k, so we’re just gonna give u these diet pills & I promise they work,. all nach-yer-awl u see, none of that waterweight ******** [! excuse my language] and in about 3 months you’ll lose half that overweight, and I promise the starsll go away and you’ll feel right tip top okay now that’ll be $60 & come bac k in a month to tell me how much you’ve lost okay haha but that’s alrightright? she was unhealthy & doctors make you healthy only her brain cancer maybe, or like, colon cancer or literally anything other obesity kills her in about 3 months bc the **** doctor would only pretend that she cared what was wrong with Sharol, sweety…,,, im sharol and so are you and so is your uncle & so is your mother, probably because most of us are “obese” & the only cure for obesity is the cure for the term “obesity” you see
0
May 3, 2016
May 3, 2016 at 3:50 PM UTC
Obesity
my subject, mrs. ((brown?)) for this speech is going to be: obesity. ish. you see I remember the article you handed out to us, loos-leafed, fresh-pressed, a dry white piece that told, in simplest terms, the most inarguable & bland facts about !healthy eating & !weight loss! but mrs ((whatever)), I want to tell n and the entire ******* crisp class, that obesity is a load of steaming **** from someone who’s really fucki ng sick (you know how much better it stinks then) that obesity was made to be glorified, I don’t tell you this— I ****** jiggle it to you, grab my santa clause puch and shove it at you-- tick tock we wait for the clock to tell us what s to come, except it makes us guess --see this: a mid-age woman, mother, fat & previously fat, goes in for stabbing pain in the chest, or chronic diarrhea, seeing stars & no energy left. ((this happens)) the doctor says, well let’s weigh you n see if you’ve lost the weight I told you to lose before remember Sharol now Sharol..,,,, sweety….. you weigh 55.62 lbs over the state-set “healthy limit”k, so we’re just gonna give u these diet pills & I promise they work,. all nach-yer-awl u see, none of that waterweight ******** [! excuse my language] and in about 3 months you’ll lose half that overweight, and I promise the starsll go away and you’ll feel right tip top okay now that’ll be $60 & come bac k in a month to tell me how much you’ve lost okay haha but that’s alrightright? she was unhealthy & doctors make you healthy only her brain cancer maybe, or like, colon cancer or literally anything other obesity kills her in about 3 months bc the **** doctor would only pretend that she cared what was wrong with Sharol, sweety…,,, im sharol and so are you and so is your uncle & so is your mother, probably because most of us are “obese” & the only cure for obesity is the cure for the term “obesity” you see
Continue reading...
74
Our flaws make us who we are, At least, that is what I am told. But if I wanted to change my flaws, Would you deem that too bold? I feel quite dismal, when I gaze. When I look into the mirror. My face is not astounding, I see very little, I fear. When I search my soul, I also see little beauty there. I think that if I could read thoughts, I'd learn that few actually care. My flaws do not make me happy, They seek my constant attention. I have flaws that are hidden, Ones that I dare not mention. I will change what I can, That is all that I can do. After that, I will accept the rest, Then maybe I won't be quite so blue.
0
Mar 15, 2016
Mar 15, 2016 at 11:57 PM UTC
Quite So Blue
If I was thinner, this world would love me more; But I eat too much dinner, and I'm a bore. If I had more courage, I'd have more friends, But that on my attractiveness depends. If I was different, I'd appease society; But this is me. And honestly I'm at the point where I'm not looking to please.
0
Dec 7, 2015
Dec 7, 2015 at 9:34 PM UTC
If I Was Different
Mrs. Claus was at the door Making sure that Santa knew He had to see the doctor He must be there by two Santa gruffed and grumbled Said there's too much to be done "You know I hate the doctor" "The doctor's just no fun" Mrs. Claus held fast and said "You do this every year" "and you always have a new excuse" "when the appointment time is near" Santa, said he'd do it Although, it was done under duress He could run an elven workshop But the doctor, was more stress He made it to the office At two, precisely on the nose The first thing the nurse said was "Santa, take off all your clothes" "You know we have to weigh you" "It's in the contract that you signed" "A little extra weight shift" "Could get the sleigh all misaligned" The scale said way past jolly He was twenty pounds past plump He was just below horrendous Santa Claus was one fat lump The doctor read the clipboard And made a tsk tsk tsking sound He said "Santa, you're much bigger" "You're almost 5 full feet around" "I have with me a letter" "That the vet asked me to read" "It says unless you drop some blubber" "Four more reindeer you will need" "Now, every story book out there" "Names eight reindeer in line" "And since you hired Rudolph" "A lot have you with nine" "But the vet now says you need thirteen" "To get up in the sky" "You've got to change your diet" "Santa, please lay off the pie" "I'm not saying all at once" "But, you've got to drop some weight" "Or, you'll be dropping gifts by plane" "And you'll still be over weight" Santa tried a little laugh, Not a full out ** ** ** Truth be told, he'd lose his breath He knew the weight would have to go He got down off the table Put on his hat, and Santa Suit He looked as red as ever When he tried to reach his boot The doctor said "Good God Man" "You can't go up like that" Santa said "I'm fine doc" "The kids want a Santa that is fat" "There's a difference between jolly" "Like the elf you're supposed to be" "But Santa, count your chins man," "I lose count at twenty three" "The elves are under orders" "Not to load the magic sleigh" "Until you commit to weight loss" "And you promise right away" "I know that you are Santa" "And for this I may get coal" "But, your wife, Santa...she scares me" "She said she'd put me in a hole" "Santa, lose some poundage" "Give it just a little try" "It's not right...thirteen reindeer" "Flying through the Christmas sky" "I know it's confidential" "what has happened here today" "But, Santa...I will tell her" "If you don't...and right away" Santa, said he'd try to He said "just tell me what to do" "Truth be told there doctor" "The woman scares me too!!!"
0
Nov 29, 2015
Nov 29, 2015 at 10:24 PM UTC
Santa at The Doctor
Mrs. Claus was at the door Making sure that Santa knew He had to see the doctor He must be there by two Santa gruffed and grumbled Said there's too much to be done "You know I hate the doctor" "The doctor's just no fun" Mrs. Claus held fast and said "You do this every year" "and you always have a new excuse" "when the appointment time is near" Santa, said he'd do it Although, it was done under duress He could run an elven workshop But the doctor, was more stress He made it to the office At two, precisely on the nose The first thing the nurse said was "Santa, take off all your clothes" "You know we have to weigh you" "It's in the contract that you signed" "A little extra weight shift" "Could get the sleigh all misaligned" The scale said way past jolly He was twenty pounds past plump He was just below horrendous Santa Claus was one fat lump The doctor read the clipboard And made a tsk tsk tsking sound He said "Santa, you're much bigger" "You're almost 5 full feet around" "I have with me a letter" "That the vet asked me to read" "It says unless you drop some blubber" "Four more reindeer you will need" "Now, every story book out there" "Names eight reindeer in line" "And since you hired Rudolph" "A lot have you with nine" "But the vet now says you need thirteen" "To get up in the sky" "You've got to change your diet" "Santa, please lay off the pie" "I'm not saying all at once" "But, you've got to drop some weight" "Or, you'll be dropping gifts by plane" "And you'll still be over weight" Santa tried a little laugh, Not a full out ** ** ** Truth be told, he'd lose his breath He knew the weight would have to go He got down off the table Put on his hat, and Santa Suit He looked as red as ever When he tried to reach his boot The doctor said "Good God Man" "You can't go up like that" Santa said "I'm fine doc" "The kids want a Santa that is fat" "There's a difference between jolly" "Like the elf you're supposed to be" "But Santa, count your chins man," "I lose count at twenty three" "The elves are under orders" "Not to load the magic sleigh" "Until you commit to weight loss" "And you promise right away" "I know that you are Santa" "And for this I may get coal" "But, your wife, Santa...she scares me" "She said she'd put me in a hole" "Santa, lose some poundage" "Give it just a little try" "It's not right...thirteen reindeer" "Flying through the Christmas sky" "I know it's confidential" "what has happened here today" "But, Santa...I will tell her" "If you don't...and right away" Santa, said he'd try to He said "just tell me what to do" "Truth be told there doctor" "The woman scares me too!!!"
Continue reading...
84
she waits for the bus feels the fat pooling around the top of her jeans like drunken donuts the white milk licking the sweat off the insides of her thighs her muffin top round cheeks stare back at her in the passing car's windows reflecting her embarrassment she stares down at the ground thinks she'd rather starve than be fat tears pressing at the corners of her eyes the bus comes her stomach growls she gets on the bus decides to order a pizza when she gets home tells herself she's had a hard day
0
Nov 13, 2015
Nov 13, 2015 at 11:54 AM UTC
Fat Girl
A pursuit for motivation In an overweight nation To become what I have dreamt of And not what I became of What I eat When I sit For hours with no end The slob meets its end A motivation found At last -Kathia Mariana Landeros
0
Oct 20, 2015
Oct 20, 2015 at 7:17 PM UTC
Move
This is Not Glandular - Dan O’neil I don’t use excuses. I never liked them. The people who say “they were born this way”. Husky….Stocky…. Big-Boned… Let me start by putting your minds at ease. This is not glandular. So, i am not a fat man.. I am a FAAATT man. And i am **** proud of it! I am proud of this body. I chose to be this size. Chose a body as BOOMING as my voice , with the softness to counter my sharp tongued words. Chose puppy cheeks, so my grandma will always have something to pinch. Chose hands that look like hot-dogs glued to a baseball, because thats really funny to picture. I chose to be a mountain of a man, just incase any ladies were feeling adventurous and wanted to hike to the summit. Trust me, this is not glandular. I chose this body because of the women, because the ladies love the funny fat guy! Because any girl who won't take me if i'm fat , is not anyone i'd want if i was thin. Because I am 230 pounds of cuddling, bearing down on you like a force of nature, and there is NOO escape from my snuggling. Because i am a teddy bear, whose heart is on “E” and desperately awaits the next woman to refuel him I chose this body because of the FOOD. Because there are 6 meals in a day. Breakfast,brunch,lunch,siesta, dinner ,and the taco bell drive thru. And theyre ALL the most important meal of the day. Because just like lonely , ***** ,and angry. We all get hungry. Because my mom told me that some people show love by cooking. So i got cookies instead of hugs, meatloaf instead of kisses. And fried spaghetti sandwiches, replaced bedtime stories… And i cleaned my plate every time because it was all i can do to say. I love you too. I mean i never knew my dad, and Rick. Rick was never the hands-on step father. Unless you consider the occasional slap on side the head. So food became my surrogate fathers. Kernel Sanders and Chef Boyardee Became my models for manhood. Which explains my obsession for weird hats.. I chose this body because of 7th grade PE Because if just one fat guy is confident when changing clothes it makes others more confident, because dodge-ball is a ****** sport so who cares if i get knocked out first? Running the mile is TORTURE! But so are the jokes.. If the fat guy can't finish. I chose this body,because other people not liking my body is not a good enough reason for me to change it. So to the bullies, the lunch ladies , to the women who NEVER gave me a chance. And the football coaches who berated me with insults. To the jerks and the jocks And the doctor who joked when i stepped on his scale. To Rick and Kernel, and ANYONE who ever used F A T as an insult. You can do what i did for the last 2 decades. of my life doing. YOU CAN EAT IT. Because i love pies, i love hamburgers ,french fries ,and lobster, and deep fried twinkies I love me some rice-a-roni and salisbury steak, microwaved burritos , cooler ranch doritos and ice-cream , the kind that you push that had Fred Flintstone on it. I love cake. I love everything about who i am and the life i get to live No. This ..is .. not ..glandular. Its just fat . And for the first time in my life. Im proud of that.
0
Mar 24, 2015
Mar 24, 2015 at 10:23 AM UTC
This Is Not Glandular
This is Not Glandular - Dan O’neil I don’t use excuses. I never liked them. The people who say “they were born this way”. Husky….Stocky…. Big-Boned… Let me start by putting your minds at ease. This is not glandular. So, i am not a fat man.. I am a FAAATT man. And i am **** proud of it! I am proud of this body. I chose to be this size. Chose a body as BOOMING as my voice , with the softness to counter my sharp tongued words. Chose puppy cheeks, so my grandma will always have something to pinch. Chose hands that look like hot-dogs glued to a baseball, because thats really funny to picture. I chose to be a mountain of a man, just incase any ladies were feeling adventurous and wanted to hike to the summit. Trust me, this is not glandular. I chose this body because of the women, because the ladies love the funny fat guy! Because any girl who won't take me if i'm fat , is not anyone i'd want if i was thin. Because I am 230 pounds of cuddling, bearing down on you like a force of nature, and there is NOO escape from my snuggling. Because i am a teddy bear, whose heart is on “E” and desperately awaits the next woman to refuel him I chose this body because of the FOOD. Because there are 6 meals in a day. Breakfast,brunch,lunch,siesta, dinner ,and the taco bell drive thru. And theyre ALL the most important meal of the day. Because just like lonely , ***** ,and angry. We all get hungry. Because my mom told me that some people show love by cooking. So i got cookies instead of hugs, meatloaf instead of kisses. And fried spaghetti sandwiches, replaced bedtime stories… And i cleaned my plate every time because it was all i can do to say. I love you too. I mean i never knew my dad, and Rick. Rick was never the hands-on step father. Unless you consider the occasional slap on side the head. So food became my surrogate fathers. Kernel Sanders and Chef Boyardee Became my models for manhood. Which explains my obsession for weird hats.. I chose this body because of 7th grade PE Because if just one fat guy is confident when changing clothes it makes others more confident, because dodge-ball is a ****** sport so who cares if i get knocked out first? Running the mile is TORTURE! But so are the jokes.. If the fat guy can't finish. I chose this body,because other people not liking my body is not a good enough reason for me to change it. So to the bullies, the lunch ladies , to the women who NEVER gave me a chance. And the football coaches who berated me with insults. To the jerks and the jocks And the doctor who joked when i stepped on his scale. To Rick and Kernel, and ANYONE who ever used F A T as an insult. You can do what i did for the last 2 decades. of my life doing. YOU CAN EAT IT. Because i love pies, i love hamburgers ,french fries ,and lobster, and deep fried twinkies I love me some rice-a-roni and salisbury steak, microwaved burritos , cooler ranch doritos and ice-cream , the kind that you push that had Fred Flintstone on it. I love cake. I love everything about who i am and the life i get to live No. This ..is .. not ..glandular. Its just fat . And for the first time in my life. Im proud of that.
Continue reading...
61
I refuse to be thin. It isn't where I belong. I would be different, unhappy, Focused on the image of me. Now, with my wide thighs Jiggling belly... Others see me, and I don't care.
0
Dec 16, 2014
Dec 16, 2014 at 1:28 PM UTC
I Refuse
Sometimes I fear I am more scar than skin. More salt than water. More gun than girl. I play the piano; black and ivory softly so you can follow me back to the cave, to the gardens, to the water. My body was not touched by the boy, was not touched by the girl that ripped out my heart and ate it. I checked for fingerprints on the side of my breast, my hip- bone,the inside of my thighs— nothing. Their hands never leave traces, never leave proof that one day someone was brave enough to touch the hills and valleys of my body. Rachel Wiley said: ******* me does not require an asterisk. Loving me is not a fetish.* He said: *I would do it if you lost weight.* He turns off the light, but I do not blame him. If he hadn't reached for it first, I would have. I keep on my T-shirt, make sure his hands don't wander to places I try too hard to forget are there. They call me fat—I make jokes about it so they won't. My mother tells me that it's important to love yourself even if you don't want to. I say yes, then count the cuts on my thigh, then smile. RACHEL WILEY SAID: ******* ME DOES NOT REQUIRE AN ASTERISK. LOVING ME IS NOT A FETISH.* I DON'T UNDERSTAND WHY YOU COULD THINK THAT FINDING ME ATTRACTIVE IS SOMETHING TO BE ASHAMED ABOUT. SOME- THING YOU WOULDN'T TELL YOUR MOTHER. YOU CAN TOUCH ME IN THE BEDROOM BUT REFUSE TO HOLD MY HAND. I AM NOT EXTRA THICK WRAPPING FOR YOUR **** I AM NOT SOMETHING YOU  LIE ABOUT TO YOUR FRIENDS. LOVING ME IS NOT SOMETHING TO HIDE FROM YOUR SISTER. LOVING ME IS NOT SOMETHING TO HIDE. It is 11:31 PM. I am the girl they like to **** but not the girl they like to have wedding pictures of, hanging on the kitchen wall. He says: *I would do it if you lost weight.* I say: *I would do it if you stopped acting like I am something to be ashamed of.* Rachel Wiley said: *I say: “I am fat.” He says: “No, you are beautiful.” I wonder why I can not be both.*
0
Dec 12, 2014
Dec 12, 2014 at 5:46 PM UTC
they call me fat
Sometimes I fear I am more scar than skin. More salt than water. More gun than girl. I play the piano; black and ivory softly so you can follow me back to the cave, to the gardens, to the water. My body was not touched by the boy, was not touched by the girl that ripped out my heart and ate it. I checked for fingerprints on the side of my breast, my hip- bone,the inside of my thighs— nothing. Their hands never leave traces, never leave proof that one day someone was brave enough to touch the hills and valleys of my body. Rachel Wiley said: ******* me does not require an asterisk. Loving me is not a fetish.* He said: *I would do it if you lost weight.* He turns off the light, but I do not blame him. If he hadn't reached for it first, I would have. I keep on my T-shirt, make sure his hands don't wander to places I try too hard to forget are there. They call me fat—I make jokes about it so they won't. My mother tells me that it's important to love yourself even if you don't want to. I say yes, then count the cuts on my thigh, then smile. RACHEL WILEY SAID: ******* ME DOES NOT REQUIRE AN ASTERISK. LOVING ME IS NOT A FETISH.* I DON'T UNDERSTAND WHY YOU COULD THINK THAT FINDING ME ATTRACTIVE IS SOMETHING TO BE ASHAMED ABOUT. SOME- THING YOU WOULDN'T TELL YOUR MOTHER. YOU CAN TOUCH ME IN THE BEDROOM BUT REFUSE TO HOLD MY HAND. I AM NOT EXTRA THICK WRAPPING FOR YOUR **** I AM NOT SOMETHING YOU  LIE ABOUT TO YOUR FRIENDS. LOVING ME IS NOT SOMETHING TO HIDE FROM YOUR SISTER. LOVING ME IS NOT SOMETHING TO HIDE. It is 11:31 PM. I am the girl they like to **** but not the girl they like to have wedding pictures of, hanging on the kitchen wall. He says: *I would do it if you lost weight.* I say: *I would do it if you stopped acting like I am something to be ashamed of.* Rachel Wiley said: *I say: “I am fat.” He says: “No, you are beautiful.” I wonder why I can not be both.*
Continue reading...
69
I stand on the scale I look at the number I'm fat I way over 140lbs What am I doing wrong? I barely eat anything She steps off the scale Walks over to the counter And opens the cupboard Peanut butter She untwists the twisty ties Grabs two pieces of white bread Places them in the toaster slots Pulls down the lever For ten seconds Pulls it up Pulls it down Waits ten more seconds Pulls it up Takes it out Spreads the peanutty butter across the crisp edges Starts eating it Nom nom nom Her dog moves close to the counter And begs She walks away Drops a few crumbs And the dog eats it up And follows her into the living room And looks up Nom nom nom nom She just looks at the dog Puts her bare foot against his nose Which is cold And the dog doesn't even move Sticks his tongue outside his mouth And breathes quickly Stupid She puts her foot back down And moves it against the rug a few times Then walks into the kitchen And opens a bag Of salt and vinegar chips Starts eating them Nom nom nom nom Dog catches the crumbs and slides against the kitchen floor She walks back upstairs And the dog follows her To her room She shuts the door And the dog starts scratching through the bottom And barks She just lays in her bed Eating The dog barks again She opens the door And pushes him With her right foot Down the stairs He tumbles down the stairs and hits the kitchen floor He races back up Gets pushed back down Dog runs away She walks towards the bathroom And uses the other scale And she sees that it says 141 lbs I've only been eating for a few minutes Errrr She closes the bag of chips And stomps downstairs And places the bag on the counter Dog waits in the living room Right next to the kitchen His food bowl is empty No water
0
Dec 8, 2014
Dec 8, 2014 at 6:49 PM UTC
What Do You Have To Lose?
I stand on the scale I look at the number I'm fat I way over 140lbs What am I doing wrong? I barely eat anything She steps off the scale Walks over to the counter And opens the cupboard Peanut butter She untwists the twisty ties Grabs two pieces of white bread Places them in the toaster slots Pulls down the lever For ten seconds Pulls it up Pulls it down Waits ten more seconds Pulls it up Takes it out Spreads the peanutty butter across the crisp edges Starts eating it Nom nom nom Her dog moves close to the counter And begs She walks away Drops a few crumbs And the dog eats it up And follows her into the living room And looks up Nom nom nom nom She just looks at the dog Puts her bare foot against his nose Which is cold And the dog doesn't even move Sticks his tongue outside his mouth And breathes quickly Stupid She puts her foot back down And moves it against the rug a few times Then walks into the kitchen And opens a bag Of salt and vinegar chips Starts eating them Nom nom nom nom Dog catches the crumbs and slides against the kitchen floor She walks back upstairs And the dog follows her To her room She shuts the door And the dog starts scratching through the bottom And barks She just lays in her bed Eating The dog barks again She opens the door And pushes him With her right foot Down the stairs He tumbles down the stairs and hits the kitchen floor He races back up Gets pushed back down Dog runs away She walks towards the bathroom And uses the other scale And she sees that it says 141 lbs I've only been eating for a few minutes Errrr She closes the bag of chips And stomps downstairs And places the bag on the counter Dog waits in the living room Right next to the kitchen His food bowl is empty No water
Continue reading...
75
Published in The Quill on November 19, 2014: http://www.amazon.com/Quill-Fall-2014-ebook/dp/B00PNVT6PG ... On being overweight (whatever that means) Even if you were the moon, they would complain about how much space you took up in the sky, how you were too bright, wanted too much from the stars, demanded more light than the others. And when you shifted, from waning to full to waxing to waning, they would remind you of how instable you were, how much of a hassle it was to keep track of your instability, your need for attention. Have you tried to be a vegan yet? All the stars are doing it. You have tried. In fact, last week was your third try – an attempt, they call it – not enough, they emphasize, try again, they say this as if it is encouragement. That’s when you found them - the celestial crescent, the earthshine, the perilune, how the lacus are lakes without lakes, why the Gibbous is brighter either way, especially during conjunction – all strung together in pearls. You are a full the night you return. As you reflect off the lake, you see Selene, Hecate, Mani, Tsukuyomi, Iah, and Thoth. You tell the stars to look, to breathe your reflection, to succumb to the glow and the beauty of it all, that you are not alone— They laugh. Say how historical that is, how out-of-touch you are, how myths aren’t mirrors, how you - you are not a mystery at all. But when you died – if you died – (we still do not know) - they do not wonder where you went. They spin, spin, spin the entire night home, only once confessing to how empty the sky is without your shine. But every night they burn.
0
Nov 26, 2014
Nov 26, 2014 at 4:03 PM UTC
On being overweight (whatever that means)
Published in The Quill on November 19, 2014: http://www.amazon.com/Quill-Fall-2014-ebook/dp/B00PNVT6PG ... On being overweight (whatever that means) Even if you were the moon, they would complain about how much space you took up in the sky, how you were too bright, wanted too much from the stars, demanded more light than the others. And when you shifted, from waning to full to waxing to waning, they would remind you of how instable you were, how much of a hassle it was to keep track of your instability, your need for attention. Have you tried to be a vegan yet? All the stars are doing it. You have tried. In fact, last week was your third try – an attempt, they call it – not enough, they emphasize, try again, they say this as if it is encouragement. That’s when you found them - the celestial crescent, the earthshine, the perilune, how the lacus are lakes without lakes, why the Gibbous is brighter either way, especially during conjunction – all strung together in pearls. You are a full the night you return. As you reflect off the lake, you see Selene, Hecate, Mani, Tsukuyomi, Iah, and Thoth. You tell the stars to look, to breathe your reflection, to succumb to the glow and the beauty of it all, that you are not alone— They laugh. Say how historical that is, how out-of-touch you are, how myths aren’t mirrors, how you - you are not a mystery at all. But when you died – if you died – (we still do not know) - they do not wonder where you went. They spin, spin, spin the entire night home, only once confessing to how empty the sky is without your shine. But every night they burn.
Continue reading...
14
Here I am staring in the mirror Looking at what couldn't be clearer I feel disgust and anger when I look But I was thinking a bullet was all it took To end a long life time of pain and sorrow Maybe there would be no tomorrow ...At least for me that is.....
0
Sep 3, 2014
Sep 3, 2014 at 3:04 AM UTC
Mirror
We've all been called names. Fighting every single game. With nothing to gain. Today I heard the word "gay".. Of course it was being used in the wrong way.. I also heard ****** What gives you the right to say that? I heard multiple people call themselves fat.. What sense is that? Do you honestly think that? You are truly beautiful the way you are. And don't let anyone tell you that you aren't. **** you society.
0
Apr 22, 2014
Apr 22, 2014 at 11:22 PM UTC
society; a ****** up place