#lifesucks
Smokes sifts through thick air,
Humid with tears of the masses.
Humidifiers embed themselves next to the cancer inside our lungs.
The TV moans with never-ending sorrow,
Mom and dad weep for an event not lived.
Music trills through the non-exsistent silence.
Ears ache with the popping of yawns.
A noose is made with wire,
Hung with the L-jack bought days prior.
I wait in our spot, now swept clean,
This is all a puzzle to me,
I wonder if you can tell me what to see.
May 16
May 16, 2026 at 3:47 AM UTC
Pound, pound, pound
Goes the hammer to my skull
Shake, shake, shake
Goes the tremor in my hands
Ache, ache, ache
Goes the pain in my limbs
Churn, churn, churn
Goes the nausea in my stomach
Sting, sting, sting
Goes the tears in my eyes
Life is dragging my limbs from horses running in opposite directions
Pulling me apart at the seams
Tearing me violently as I break down
Feeling like there's no way out
Feb 11
Feb 11, 2026 at 6:40 PM UTC
I hate that I don't hate you. I hate that I miss you. I hate how you fill my head. I hate that all I want is to lie on the phone with you just to know you're with me. I hate that I want us back. I hate that I'm not mad. I hate that you hurt me, and I am so ready to forgive. I hate that I love you so much when there's a chance you never did. I hate that I care so much. I hate the way you smile, and it instantly brings joy into my life. I hate how your eyes are so captivating and the way I always get stuck. I hate that I don't hate you, but I'm so glad that I got to experience an "us."
Mar 14, 2025
Mar 14, 2025 at 1:51 PM UTC
You know those
Moments of
Silence
In between the
BANGING
Of hammers?
The:
BANG
BANNG
BANG
BANG
BANG
That’s kind of
What my
Life
Feels like right now
Mar 2, 2025
Mar 2, 2025 at 1:46 PM UTC
i want to **** myself so badly,
to just disappear from this horrible life.
i must admit i'll gladly
take the devil's deal to get a knife
to carve my fragile heart out.
i'm scared of pain-
but at the same time, it entrances me.
i watch the little beads of blood again,
slowly forming into a puddle.
dancing on my wrist
Sep 6, 2024
Sep 6, 2024 at 7:18 AM UTC
gravitational pull
falling debris
water escaping sand
it loosens at my feet, it's only an illusion
slowly I sink wondering when will I float
Apr 17, 2019
Apr 17, 2019 at 10:07 AM UTC
tears fall like daggers
my skin- dry and ripped;
the sweat drips differently
and the blood flow slows.
patience and positivity keeps the wheels turning,
but there is a breaking point on the horizon.
soon i will stand up to depression,
but for now,
i sit and wait.
Mar 13, 2019
Mar 13, 2019 at 12:23 PM UTC
Growing up is finding out the real world is cruel
Growing up is finding out what you once knew isn't real
Growing up is realizing a movie or fairy tail
Growing up is learning to hurt, and learning to fail.
Growing up is truly learning how to fake a smile
Growing up is finding out your grandfather is a *********
Growing up is finding out your family hates you for something you cannot control
Growing up is going to the mines so you can support your hateful family by mining coal
Growing up is coming to terms with death
Growing up is learning your mother does ****
Growing up is realizing your father is abusive
Growing up is forever being inconclusive
Growing up is pain
Growing up is hate
Growing up is raze
Grown-up is a four letter word.
Feb 1, 2019
Feb 1, 2019 at 7:02 PM UTC
There is no more painful love
than unrequited love
A heart that is open
pouring out to another
but an empty space
like a vacuum
with nothing in return
Like giving a gift
‘Tis better to give than receive
And the heart offers freely
all of its wonderful presents
Free of expectations
when truly filled with love
It blindly releases itself to another
With a simple creed
‘I am for you’
Like the wall of a dam
suddenly letting go
A deluge of emotions
Thoughtful, interest, caring, warmth, love
A flowing waterfall
of Niagara proportions
However, without intention
which goes without saying
since the truer the love
the blinder it be
The vacated space
creates a sudden vacuum
A sharp, deep pit left
where once all of itself was housed
For a brief time
the heart is unaware
still glowing in the warmth
from the happiness and joy
of the love it gives
But slowly the glow fades
And the presence of the empty space
becomes more obvious
and apparent
A coldness sets in
An addict looking for a fix
The heart desperately seeks
in return what it has given
Never intending to give with strings
but so it finds itself
now tied to another
with the strongest of bonds
The intense fulfilling feeling
once experienced
Replaced with anguish,
longing, loneliness and pain
The mind and heart begin
an epic civil war
Feeling the torment
and seeing the destruction
the mind invokes all its resources
to break the bonds
the heart has created
But with hope that is
almost sad and pitiful
the heart refuses to let go
So sure of the ties it made
And fighting back with all
of its might to defeat
any attempt
the mind has
to remove the bonds of love
A man at war with himself
will find himself at war with others
And so, the inner conflict
resonates outwardly
displayed aptly with defiance
and destruction
Like a pebble in a pond
each action creates ripples
Slowly at first
but then with exponential speed
a life is destroyed
leaving only a broken
and beaten shell
And after all the destruction
and loss
All of the pain and suffering
The tears and sorrow
At this moment
standing on a pile
of nothing but debris
The mind,
with a sense of arrogance
and certainty,
confronts the heart
and pointedly asks,
“Do you see now?!
Do you see the
error of your ways??
Look what it has cost us!
Do you see the
mistake you’ve made?!”
Without hesitation or waiver
the heart responds
with a steady certainty
that is calm and cool in nature,
“No. Love is a risky venture.
One always, ‘takes a chance at love’.
But I will not admit
fault for trying.
When I love
I love freely and openly
I offer all of myself
without expectations
It’s only when you get involved
and create conflict within
that we have problems
To love is to love
It brings joy and happiness within itself
If it is not returned
then it is not returned
but an open and loving heart
can not feel emptiness and pain for it is filled with love
And there is no greater reward
than finding that love in another
and having another
find that love
in you
Nov 8, 2018
Nov 8, 2018 at 11:32 AM UTC
Different,
Unreal,
Insignificant,
Disappear.
False with identity,
I am the enemy,
The false human,
The imitation alien,
A curse upon our sweet Terra,
A false partner under Herra.
I am unlike the rest,
I am a fake,
I do not matter,
And I shall fade.
Jul 10, 2018
Jul 10, 2018 at 6:05 PM UTC
Me
You have no ******* idea,
What it's like to be me.
You simply couldn't comprehend,
That this is the way things have to be.
Every day feeling more pain,
The pains getting worse, it gets no better.
Every day is now the same
And it will be this way forever.
No regrets due to no memory,
Except the things that scarred our lives.
No new life can there be for you and me.
I overdose nearly every night;
But they keep keeping me alive,
And for what? I just don't know.
Just to continue this daily punishment;
I'm still alive, so on with the show.
I'm walking through the town,
Careful to never make eye contact.
Never being recognized by anyone
And I'm never coming back.
I hate everyone in here
And I hate every stranger I meet.
I hate everyone I left behind
And I hate anyone who knows me.
I have to make small talk,
Whilst they have nothing left to say.
Their deepest conversation is about makeup
And who they ****** last Saturday.
They’re lucky they'll never feel this;
This bitter hatred in my soul.
If they walked only one day in my shoes,
They would pack up shop and they would go;
To wherever the journey ends.
Maybe the fiery pits of Mordor
And they would jump like angelic lemmings,
Just to end this life; this bore.
You meet a beautiful girl,
But you can't go up and speak to her;
Because your heart has been torn from your chest before.
You've now become a beautiful bore.
You fancy them all, yet you don't want any of them.
You could love them all, but you can't take the risk again.
So you throw in the towel
And become a celibate monk in a monastery.
Now you can't get hurt anymore;
No ******* woman can ever harm me!
But you'll never find love,
Get married and have children;
But you’re resigned to a life of struggle,
And you wouldn't want them anyway.
What? Have a kid grow up to be just like his father.
The guy who doesn't know his family,
Has no job, but loves his baby’s momma.
The woman he'd die for is just using him for cash;
Because the kids real father, has gone and packed his bags.
She's in the last chance saloon,
Because she can't afford a kid;
But this must be her lucky day,
Because she's going out with Stupid.
So come on now boys and girls,
Please slit my throat as I sleep;
Because tomorrow is just another day
And believe me, you don't know me.
The man you used to know,
Died a long, long time ago.
Now the heart is dead inside,
But the body still moves on.
His girl has ripped his heart out,
After selling his soul.
He was convinced she was his girl,
But she's just another 'ho.
His brain is in pieces, his energy gone.
He no longer has faith
And he will no longer fight on.
He finds happiness in depression,
It's always been this way for him.
It's all ****** up, his life is chaos;
This is normal life for me.
But if everything’s alright for him
And the world and he spin as one,
He packs his bags and darts through the exit;
Heading back to the norm.
Chaos and pain and tragedy and suffering;
These are a few of my favorite things.
Peace, love, friends and family;
No longer mean anything to me.
I crave for nothing,
So there's nothing I need.
I don't require any of the products sold on T.V.
I don't need a wife and a kid, or a million pounds.
I'm happy alive in a world of nothing;
It's the other people who bring me down.
(C)2005 Aa Harvey. All Rights Reserved.
Apr 21, 2018
Apr 21, 2018 at 6:57 PM UTC
As i watch the tears fall from my sister's eyes as she is dragged by her hair
Her whimpers as her face gets scraped on the concrete.
The ****** elbows, ****** knees, ****** face all covered in her salty tears
The hazy yet sorrow filled look in her eyes, As each step the officer takes brings more tears down her face.
The one who was holding me back so i could not go save her.
My tears OUR tears splashing on the parking lot.
The look on the policeman's face as he shoves her in his car.
My mom yelling because he hurt my sister and she did not deserve it.
Just let it go
it’s over now.
It was years ago
Don’t be a baby
She probably deserved it
Thats all thats the reason you dont like cops
The things people say all running through my head making me confused.
It reminds me of the time when i did not share just kept the hurt inside
The hurt of being touched and feeling really bad
Of ****** harassment in my own bed
At the tender age of 6 my childhood began to crumble
And from there it was as though if i tumbled i would fall
Fall into a life full of sadness and depression
So at the age of 15 i decided to grab a knife and punish myself
Punishment for not helping my sister at the age of 7
Punishment for being a burden
Punishment for my pain
Punishment for the pain i have caused the tears that paved the way
And the thing i carved right in my leg was
Be happy
I had to be happy about today and about tomorrow
Happy about the pain
Push through it was all so long ago anyways
I had to make myself ok
Make myself better so i could be a hero
And rescue my family forever
As it continued i began to remember the things i have gone through
My mom moved away was it my fault?
My sister is addicted to heroine is that my fault?
My heart feels as though a tap would make it crumble.
And with that i continue to stumble
Stumble through my life pretending everything is normal
Worried that i will hurt someone and make them feel alone
Worried about what their lives are like at home
I cried myself to sleep night after night
And what i go for proof is the scars from that night
Oh yes i cracked eventually i broke down a sobbing mess
But in doing so told about the painful thing i did to my leg
I went to a therapist the 4th the 5th the 6th? Who knows what number this one is?
But what i do know is this
My pills seemed to stop working quite as well and know i feel as though my life is a lot like hell
I can’t fix it on my own
But why would i want to tell
I talk to my mom,my dad , both pairs but not together i talk to my sister who is doing fine but could always be better
I guess there is a redeeming part in the end
My family does not blame the way i did then
My family tells me they love me and they care
My family says they will be here for me even when i want to run
They will follow me for sure
When i say i'll run away
They all come run with me.
My family loves me this is true
But why i ask myself
But when i ask my question aloud the answer is yes
Yes we love your quirks yes we love your faults.
Apr 12, 2018
Apr 12, 2018 at 9:50 PM UTC
Anti-this and Anti-that.
She’s got a smile like a nuclear bomb.
I’m blown away by a never-be blonde.
She likes the dark life and so do I.
I never, never, ever want to see her cry.
She needs to be loved,
Like I need an intravenous-nicotine-drip.
She doesn’t care, about any of this!
Nothing matters! She doesn’t want to be loved
And all because…
LIFE *****
She’s anti-this!
And anti-that!
The love she needs, she has never had.
She’s got a family who love her so much,
But this anti-life girl needs somebody to love.
If you say “Hi.” She puts her headphones on.
If she has to buy you a present, then she will send you a bomb!
If she only knew, that she was oh so wrong;
She is not so far gone that she has to remain on her own.
She needs to be loved, like a fish needs water.
She needs someone, to kiss and to hold her.
She needs all the things that only love can bring.
She says she doesn’t need a ******* thing!!
She’s anti-me and anti-you.
She’s anti-man and anti-hu.
She’s anti-love,
When she needs it the most.
She needs love…
(Love is all I that know…)
(C)2018 Aa Harvey. All Rights Reserved.
Apr 10, 2018
Apr 10, 2018 at 10:37 AM UTC
It’s a good life
I need to lose weight
I need to get better
It’s still a good life
You’ll never be good enough
You’ll never make it
It’s life
My life is lost
My life means little
It’s a good… Is it?
That girl doesn’t like, like you
That girl says your friends.. so, YOUR FRIENDS
It’s a long life
Ankles break
Ankles don’t always heal
It’s a tough life
People forget
People move on
It’s a cold life
Friends they come
Friends they go
It’s a backstabbing life
I don’t wanna leave
I cannot wait to get back
It’s a hurtful life
I feel empty
I feel like killing myself
It’s a ****** life
Someone helped
Someone loved
It’s a good life
It will always be a **** good life
So,
As you age
As you turn the page
Remember a few things,
Play the cards you were dealt best you can
Cause even aces get cracked
And you still won’t get them often
Always remember who was there
Never forget who wasn’t
Keep the good time close to your heart
Keep the bad ones closer
Because there is so much beauty in struggle
And without bad times, there’d be no good ones
What happens never defines you
How you react does
And you get what you give
So punch your own ticket
There is ALWAYS a light at the end of the tunnel
But you wont get there sitting on the platform
Never forget a friend
Because people are still good, trust me.
Your scars don’t always show
So make sure you and the people who care see them
Not everyone cares
Find the ones that do
And try to be the one who cares to others
Make everyday count
And always have something to look forward to
You’ll never remember a night you got enough sleep
So step out of your comfort zone. Try something new- even though you’ll regret it sometimes
Life is full of small victories, everyday
Win the day
Don’t forget to reward yourself for them
You probably deserve it
You’ll find yourself being the little guy a lot
Embrace that
Use that to your advantage
They’ll never see you coming!
Try to laugh
And never take anything too serious
Life can be better that way sometimes
Your mind is as important as your matter
Be sure take care of both
Look up
But keep up
Things are cool
Cool people are cooler
And bad people are the worst
So listen to the good music
But never underestimate the power of conversation
Because people can help
While everyone’s world doesn’t revolve around you
Your mothers does, your dad’s usually does too
There are rough patches
And they always seem worse than the good ones seem good
But winter isn’t forever
And summer isn’t always what it cracks up to be
So find the beauty in both
No matter where you are in your life
There are good times to be had
Life has mysteries
Life has misery- (a lot of misery)
But tomorrow is a new day
If you keep calm, work hard and just do right
Life can be a **** good thing
It really is a good life
Apr 4, 2018
Apr 4, 2018 at 2:23 PM UTC
Malapit na ang aking kaarawan , Subalit puno parin nang lungkot ang aking sistema,
Ako nga ba ay nababahala sa nangyayari sa eksena , o sadyang di ko lang mapigilan ang naririnig sa aking mga tainga,
Nakarinig ako ng isang malungkot na kanta , tugmang-tugma sa tema,
Dala ang lungkot at sakit sa aking mga nadarama, titigil pa kaya ang pagiisip na patuloy lumalala , o magkukunwari nalang sa bawat araw na gusto ko nalang matapos na .
Magpapasaya parin ba ako ng maraming tao , para lang itago itong nararamdaman ko , o ilalabas ko ito kahit napakahirap at baka pagtawanan nyo pa ko.
Sa bawat ngiti ko na naipamamalas ay isang puntos o paraan para lumigaya ako kahit kaunti ,
Sa pagtahimik ko nagmamasid lang ako sa paligid , dahil takot akong magbigay opinyon , at baka ako'y paulananan ng masasakit na Salita na uukit sa aking kaluluwa hindi lang sa balat , hanggang sa tuluyan na nga akong dalhin ng aking isip ,
Kung saan ang dulo at solusyon ay kamatayan.
Nov 30, 2017
Nov 30, 2017 at 11:41 AM UTC
Alive, but not living
Safe, but not really
Happy, but dying
Truthful, but not to myself
Young, but seen too much
Nothing, and no more to be said
Nov 14, 2017
Nov 14, 2017 at 12:01 PM UTC
I need a friend
Or a helping hand
Someone to lead me
To feed me
Otherwise this addiction will soon take control
Aug 18, 2017
Aug 18, 2017 at 12:01 AM UTC
put a ****** mary in your salad you'll thank me later
i saw somebody do it then i remembered it was me
part bottle part bottle part can part shaker
pour some drink some shake some
put it all back where it came from
see what i mean?
hey now baby why don’t you try it for yourself
stop watching everybody else and live a little
eat what you want but about the irony on the side
i’m telling you to pour some more
and not live your life like before
see what i mean?
i recall listening to a feeling exploding inside
i wanted to ask a professional what it means
but he charges for my personal problems
i spoke to myself again about it
all they can really do is hope to find
nobody knows her true state of mind
see what i mean?
i’m speaking to a teenage girl now
i hate one of my parents what to do
when i was three everybody told me i would
they just laugh now and say wait till you have one
then you’ll wish you were a teen again
so why did they bother to have me then?
see what i mean?
May 13, 2017
May 13, 2017 at 11:37 AM UTC
I'll always be here for you
when the days get really tough
when the nights without sleep
are beginning to get to rough.
I will listen to you rant
about how the world is so unfair
and ill try to make you better
because honestly I care.
you're one of the reasons I smile
and you help me so much
I hope the life you're living
is one that I have touched
I hope when times are good
that you think of me
and I hope when times are bad
you know i'll never leave
because like our song says
"ill never let you down"
I love you with all my heart
and I'm glad you have stuck around.
Jan 31, 2016
Jan 31, 2016 at 2:55 PM UTC
You Must Remember
A man in black approached me, the sun began to die. The wind blew around me in dark shades of purple and blue. I heard no heart beat but my own. Death, he was arrived. Arrived to steal my soul and bring me down to the hot hell fires.
Death, how he beckoned me so. His chains grabbed my wrists and pulled me to his cloak. I felt the fear, hate and grief of all those he has killed. Death please take me. Shatter my soul into a million pieces, for it’s of no use to me now. Rip my heart out of my chest and leave me to bleed, for I have no room for a heart. **** the life out of me ,for I do not deserve it. Death take me into your chamber of darkness, laugh at my agonizing screams and drink my blood with your thirsty teeth. Death I beg you, never let me see the light again.
But wait death, wait a minute. I remember the the sounds of dreamy laughs, I remember the radiating smiles that made me warm and I remember the love that I so desperately yearn for. Death, oh dear death release me from these chains! Death I’m suppose to grow old and die with love, not of hate. The world it used to be so grand and bright, now so full of fear and fright.
Death have you ever felt love? I looked at hell through the eyes. Why do you not love and only despise? Death can you yourself die? Death released me from his chains and slowly moved away. Death are you scared? I asked him boldly. The room began to warm and the sun began to shine. Why are you not answering death?! He slowly backed away.
“Fine, you shall live another day”
Dec 9, 2015
Dec 9, 2015 at 4:34 PM UTC
Masks
they help us hide
from who we are
behind a curtain
dancing silhouettes
they’ll never know
puppets on strings
acting how we should
we spend so much time hiding
when the mask is removed
we won’t recognize ourselves
we don’t even know who we’re hiding
scared to know what’s within
Oct 22, 2015
Oct 22, 2015 at 7:12 PM UTC