#insecurites
Dear Insecurities,
I know this seems like a message that's supposed to be uplifting
but its not
If I could change anything about you
there's a lot I would fix.
Id make my hair luscious, straight, blonde
Id get rid of the waves,
the frizz,
the thickness,
the oil,
the brown,
shades of blue faded from October,
Id blend in with the rest and people wouldn't pick up my hair and think
ugly
theyd think
beautiful
theyd stop in awe just to give a complement and maybe not an insult.
Id make my body as thin as a pencil,
my waist size would be so tiny its unlisted,
my thighs wouldnt spread when I sat,
could count every rib,
and never afraid to step on a scale,
people wouldnt have to throw around the word
fat
at me instead they'd be scared, scared if they said that word again
I would starve myself so much I would be
gone
Id make my face beautiful
put together eyebrows,
thin lips,
tiny nose,
clear skin,
almost so clear you could feel and there would be nothing but
smooth
nobody wouldnt go around and call me
pepperoni pizza
would stare and wonder what products I put on my face
and I would whisper
nothing
Id make my scent always smell good
id smell of lavender and rose
you'd walk in the room and instantly stare at me
wondering
where did she get that scent
you wouldn't go up to me and tell
that my depression has made it so hard
I can barley take a shower anymore
and wouldn't suggest
perfume maybe
you'd suggest
putting less on
Id make my finger nails perfectly long
not uneven like
thumb long
index finger short
pointer finger long
pinkie short
my hands wouldnt be as small as the rest
my nails wouldnt have dirt in them
they'd be clean
so clean it looked perfectly white
unneaded of nail polish
Id make my eyes a beautiful shade of blue
not an ugly dark brown
people would stare and get lost in them and think
wow magnificent
not
so ugly there hard to look into
would be the thing that sticks out about you and think
that's her best feture
that's what I wanted
Id make my arms and legs unscared
they would shine beautifully in the light
nobody would stare and think
she must be depressed
they'd stare and think
wow shes beautiful
I wish someone would stare and think
wow shes beautiful
the only person who told me that was emi
and that must've been lies
everyones called me
ugly ugly ugly
and that's what I was
dear insecurities,
can you fix me please?
I'm sick of living in a body
I don't want to be mine
I want to be like everyone else
maybe even prettier if you can
please? fix me?
Jan 5
Jan 5, 2026 at 2:14 PM UTC
I seem to always fall into the cracks between your words.
I can’t seem to land on them.
Believe them.
I’d rather fall into a mysterious black hole
I’ve created to imagine my own version of what you say.
I drive myself crazy.
Not believing.
Not seeing.
Just ruining.
What could be.
Apr 28, 2018
Apr 28, 2018 at 1:47 AM UTC
paint me the colors of the rainbow
cover all my dullness,
all my grayness
make me a mask of colors
make it happy
no sight of sadness should be there
make my clothes gleam and glow
to shine away all my flaws
as it is expected that my body will be perfect
make my shoes shine bright red
like those of dorothy's
to hide the red blisters they are causing
paint me the colors of the rainbow,
make me shine bright
to mask all the pain
Apr 14, 2018
Apr 14, 2018 at 12:05 PM UTC
I might be insecure
and probably I am, but
why are you staring at me like that?
no that only you but you
and you and you and you and you...?
why is there no depth in your eyes?
the simplicity of your movements opposes the movement you make with your eyes
why go through all that trouble staring at me?
am I mystical or something?
do you see something that I didn't notice about myself?
If you do please don't hesitate to ask a question
I won't bite
please as all I see in your eyes is no remorse
I was sitting on a sidewalk while people were passing right by me
all giving me weird stares
maybe because of my race
my mischievous smile
the black clothes that I'm wearing
or maybe the uncomfortable presence I bring
So with my insecure ways I bring a newspaper on my race, pretending to read
and made a wish
when the newspaper went down I only saw a bunch of people just like me
passing by, all staring at me weirdly
but when I check to see my hands it wasn't me
It was somebody else
well it was somebody per each second
and as I began to constantly change form I got up and join the passing crowd
they parted away from me , but I don't care
because now everybody knows how it feels to be me
to be stare at with no remorse.
Apr 15, 2014
Apr 15, 2014 at 12:04 PM UTC
Oh how I love wearing my sweaters
I wear then in the morning,especially at night
in the cold and summer
in the public and private places
when I fell all soo happy
and also when I'm depressed
It's like a shell
It protects from this dangerous world
the world criticism stings me
giving me a lethal dose of paranoia and sleep deprivation
Well luckily I have my sweaters
It's my cup of Joe
my video game
my secret lover
my special listener
my doctor
my savior
Oh it saves me alright
from the world
isolating me from the world
making me lonely and cold
But it is worth it
oh this world can be dangerous
i don't want my soul to be drain
But eventually when I'm ready
I will break from this cocoon
and spread my wings so that everybody can see
my warmth and salvation
My sweaters
they are nice to have
but it is not meant to be worn for a long time.
May 28, 2014
May 28, 2014 at 7:21 PM UTC
i am nothing but a broken hearted
scarred and scorned woman
lacking the love and attention
that i had so long searched for
though it seems i may have found
a sudden break in the clouds
i'm terrified of what's inside
for even the sun hides sometimes
so when the floods come
and the fire burns out
and i've caused enough disappointment
and there is no tomorrow
and there is no good feeling
and there are no smiles
when the flood of my tears
destroys all you built to keep us afloat
...when it all fails
i may as well take a knife to my throat
Aug 1, 2014
Aug 1, 2014 at 10:44 PM UTC