#imsorry
‘’my same
my reflection
my similar
tied together
in the womb even though i
came many years after
holding hands as
we cross the road
to steal candy
from the gas station
giggling at night
and trying to stay quiet
as we tickle eachother
with our tiny feet
our shoulders
our eyelashes
our voices
once so similar
once my reflection
and once the same
you’re older now
and we have grown apart
but the ties that lie
underground connect us
and keep us family
even if we’re continents away.’’
May 26
May 26, 2026 at 2:14 PM UTC
‘’i’m lying on my bed
with my phone settled
next to me; halfway
covered by my blanket
i hear the ping that just won’t stop
i see the messages full of excitement
but i can’t bring myself to
feel what you feel
to be as excited as you are
to be alike
‘’what r u up to 2day??’’
‘’wanna hangout??’’
‘’we should get froyo :)’’
‘’i miss u!!!!’’
i sigh
i pause
i shut my eyes
and i turn away
because we are not longer akin
no longer bonded
no longer similar
no longer same.’’
May 26
May 26, 2026 at 1:16 PM UTC
“i bite you
and my teeth
sink deep
i silently hope that
my violence keeps
you away
but you don’t stop
to pick my canines
out of your flesh
you just pet my head
and tell me that
you’re not mad
so i bite again
because maybe then
you’ll see that i don’t
bite to protect myself
i do it to protect you.”
May 26
May 26, 2026 at 12:59 PM UTC
“you tap my keys
and create a beautiful
melody as your foot
presses gently
over mine; it makes
me blush
you fix my strings
when i am a little
out of tune; you’re
never annoyed to
help me out
you gloss my wooden
casing with a smooth
finish to display all
of my beauty
but you grow bored
of me after a while
and i am left to dust
in an old storage closet
with my strings thinning
and my gloss peeling
i barely remember
the last song i sang
to you
because i never
expected you to
simply
just
leave.”
May 8
May 8, 2026 at 11:37 AM UTC
‘’you sit in the shower
and bathe in the glory
you’ve always had
and will never lose
you lay on my bed
in the middle of the
night and lock eyes
with me until i give in
you stand behind me
on the bus with your
hands intertwined with mine
shadowing my movements,
collecting every emotion
i’ve ever spent on you,
tasting my skin when you
know i’ve finally given up
you’ve always been there
like a spider that’s already
been crushed but just won’t die
i hear you whisper in my ear
words that make my heart sink
‘’you keep coming back
and you always will.
pathetic.’’
May 6
May 6, 2026 at 10:34 AM UTC
‘’a man following you
through an empty alley
way deep into the night;
the only light is from the
flash of his phone
a whisper about how bad
you are at *** spreading
through everyone’s ears
even though you’re still a ******
a hand up your skirt
on the bus from the stranger
behind you; you just wanna
go to your classes
a ****
a *****
a ****
yet the moment you strike
the second you bite
the instant you growl
the exact moment you
show them the wolf inside you
is the moment you’re
banished from society
for
being
too
cruel.’’
May 6
May 6, 2026 at 10:25 AM UTC
“my hands
my eyes
my ears
every motion that i use
to pleasure my body
are motions that i always
deeply regret
the hands that circle
my bud until i am writhing
in an unfathomable
amount of pain
the eyes that are glued
to the screen full of
people paid too little in
positions i can’t even
imagine myself being in
and the ears that listen
for every creek in the
floorboard as i bury
myself in the layers of self
hatred disguised as an ******
i’m fed fantasies that would
disappoint every single
human in my devastatingly
horrific life
i’d sleep in your bed
but my mind would only
ever replay the videos
i’ve watched over and
over and over
so i'm sorry
but it would **** me to
imagine it all over again."
May 3
May 3, 2026 at 12:01 AM UTC
‘’these thoughts constantly
infect my ****** mind
like a plague that infiltrates
the body and forces it to
***** its innards
or possibly a virus that
leaves your face mangled
with rashes and blisters
the thoughts are violent,
cruel, and unforgiving in the eyes
of our lord and savior
i do not wish to picture
innocent souls in such ravaged
positions nor do i wish to
imagine what their insides
smell like
i want to curl up on my bed
and hide beneath the covers
until i am no longer a monster
are these things that
i truly believe? are they
meant to expose my
true nature?
i’m disgusting.’’
Apr 24
Apr 24, 2026 at 11:22 AM UTC
And when things get good, I push it away,
And when I finally understand, I forget,
And when I find myself, I'm suddenly so lost.
Why am I so lost?
Apr 23
Apr 23, 2026 at 2:53 PM UTC
‘’a suffocating tightness wraps around
my body as i stand inside a
sea of people
i **** in a deep breath and
keep it there to surpress the
fatness that i was born with
you call my name
you give me a smile
you love me so deeply
yet the attention i’m given
will never exceed the
amount of guilt i feel
staring down at the scale
165.4
165.5
166.3
the number goes up
as the skin on my arms
thins from the scars i
cut into myself because
i think i deserve it
i stare at myself in the
mirror; cringing at every
roll on my stomach,
every pimple on my nose,
the gross stretch marks that
adorn my hips . . .
i’m so sick of this body
i’m tired
i’m so unsatisfied.’’
Apr 23
Apr 23, 2026 at 10:32 AM UTC
I wish you could see me
the way you used to,
back when your eyes softened
just by looking at me,
when your hands found mine
without hesitation,
when I was everything
you ever wanted.
You used to hold me
like I mattered,
like losing me
wasn’t even a possibility.
Now I look at you
and I don’t recognise
who you’ve become.
Cold in ways
I never knew you could be,
distant in ways
I can’t seem to reach,
like the person I loved
has been replaced
by someone
who doesn’t love me at all.
And maybe the truth is
I don’t recognise myself either,
not without you.
Maybe that’s why I stay,
why I keep holding on
even when it hurts,
because I don’t know
who I am
if I let you go.
I feel alone,
even when you’re right here,
like I’m grieving something
that hasn’t fully gone yet.
I don’t know what’s worse,
you leaving
or you staying
like this.
Why can’t you see me?
See how much I want you,
how much I’m trying
to keep this alive
with nothing left
to hold onto.
I want us back,
the laughter,
the warmth,
the way love felt easy
instead of something
I have to beg for.
I want you
to fall in love with me again,
to choose me
the way you used to.
But wanting it
doesn’t make it real.
And still,
some part of me whispers
the same quiet plea
I can’t seem to let go of—
please,
come back to me.
Apr 19
Apr 19, 2026 at 10:11 PM UTC
I can’t help but feel
like I’ve let you down,
like somewhere along the way
I became someone
you no longer recognise,
someone you can’t place
in the future you’re building.
And I keep wondering
when that shift happened,
when I stopped being enough
and started being optional.
You choose them over me,
even when you don’t say it out loud.
I see it in the pauses,
in the way your replies fade,
in the silence
where your messages used to live.
It’s quiet now,
too quiet,
like something that mattered
has already ended
and I’m the only one
still holding onto it.
I wonder if they get
the version of you I remember,
the one who stayed up late,
who made time without asking,
who spoke like I mattered.
I wonder if they hear your laughter
the way I used to,
if they get the softness
you don’t show me anymore.
Days pass,
slow and heavy,
and I don’t know why
my stomach sinks the way it does,
like my body already knows
what my mind won’t admit,
that I’m losing you
in pieces I can’t hold together.
I keep asking myself,
are you going to leave,
or am I meant to go first?
Would it hurt you more
if I disappeared quietly,
or stayed long enough
to watch you let me go?
Would leaving make you miss me,
or just make it easier
to forget I was ever here?
Because I want to be yours,
more than anything I can explain,
in the way that feels whole,
certain,
real.
But I can’t exist
as a second choice,
as something you return to
when it’s convenient.
I can’t be half loved,
half seen,
half held.
And maybe that’s the hardest part,
realising
I would give you everything,
while you’re already learning
how to live without me.
Apr 19
Apr 19, 2026 at 10:04 PM UTC
She told me what she wanted
And I thought
I know what she actually wants...
She told me what she needed
And I thought
I know what she truly needs...
She told me what she thought
And I thought
I know what she's really thinking...
She told me I took her for granted
And I thought
I know her, that's not taking her for granted...
Mar 27
Mar 27, 2026 at 4:10 PM UTC
*
I read something someone posted and I realized
I've written you over a hundred poems
But I've never apologized to you
So, if you ever read this
I would like you to know
How sorry I am
For the mean words I spoke to you
I'd like you to know that
I'm sorry for my immature behavior towards you
Most importantly, I'd like you to know
I am sorry for failing to respect your boundaries
Your friendship and love were worth far more to me
Than was represented by my behavior and lack of respect
I've spent the last thirty years regretting my mistakes
As I will the next thirty years, I have little doubt
I am so sorry that I was not the person I could have been
I'm sorry that I was not the person you needed me to be
While my past behavior has not been a perfect testament
I would hope that you know that I will always love you
*
Dec 15, 2025
Dec 15, 2025 at 11:42 PM UTC
‘’for two butterflies to
love, they must dance
for one another
until the night chimes
and their hearts are full
it is a sacred,
beautiful, and
intricately vulnerable
ritual; some may say
that it is the nature
of butterflies to dance,
to flutter and to fly free
this dance is chosen
this dance is decided
this dance is given and
never simply taken
but for me?
my dance was not chosen
it was demanded of me
my wings were ripped apart
whilst the dance forced upon
me was terrifying and ugly
i eventually fell into the depths
of the forest as i was
ravaged upon by a
butterfly too inconsiderate
to realize the damage
he had done
i do not wish to dance anymore
because all i remember is the
waltz i never wanted to take.’’
Feb 26
Feb 26, 2026 at 10:04 AM UTC
“music and melodies
it rings in my ears
and deafens the thoughts
that eat at my brain
these sweet euphonies
play to slow my heart
and melt away the
frost clinging to it
it’s kinda the whole reason
i’m still here; it’s why
my heart is still beating;
why it’s no longer
burdened with the cold
so please,
once i’m buried under
the snow; once my name
is no longer uttered; and
once my voice can no
longer sing
play a song
maybe it’d let God know
where to find me.”
Feb 23
Feb 23, 2026 at 9:43 AM UTC
“i tear at my skin with
a blade; trying to find the
flowers that bloom beneath
i grab at my tendons and rip
them aside, fully determined
to find the pollen hidden inside
i dig and dig at this body;
covering my once beautiful skin
with ***** scratches until i am
nothing but embers ready to
be discarded into the wind
i destroyed myself for
flowers that ceased to exist
am i truly that gullible?”
Feb 23
Feb 23, 2026 at 9:34 AM UTC
“i search up his name,
atleast from what i remember
his name being, for the 5th
time this afternoon
instagram
tiktok
facebook
even ******* safari
i feel a knot form in my stomach
as i type in his name again
and again
and again
and again
i miss the tongue he kissed
me with and the hands that he
roamed my body with
i hate myself for it,
i truly do
i hate that i miss the same person
who made me scrub my skin so
hard in the shower just to get
his ******* handprints off me
i’m sorry,
especially to my boyfriend
he doesn’t need to hear me cry.”
Feb 22
Feb 22, 2026 at 3:18 AM UTC
We used to grow together
Now it feels like we’re drifting apart
Not loudly
Not suddenly
Just slowly
In ways that hurt more
I still love you
That hasn’t changed
But something in me is breaking
And I don’t know how to fix it
I find myself questioning you
Questioning us
Questioning where I stand
And I don’t want to feel like this
I don’t want to wonder
If I’ve done something wrong
Or if I’m no longer enough
I don’t want to feel replaced
Even if I don’t know by who
I just know
Something is different
And it scares me
That I’m starting to feel
Like letting go
Might hurt less
Than holding on
Feb 15
Feb 15, 2026 at 6:53 PM UTC
right now, i feel a desperate urge
to simply let go.
to rot.
to fade.
to be anywhere but here.
i am decaying under the weight of it.
as i write this
my jaw is locked tight
grinding against the bones in my mouth
and my heart hammers against my ribs
while tears fall down
on the raw skin of my face.
i am drowning in the “before”
and i dont know how to breathe in the “now.”
Jan 31
Jan 31, 2026 at 9:42 AM UTC
I'm sorry I'm annoying
I'm sorry I care to much
I'm sorry Im constantly overthinking
I'm sorry I worry
I'm sorry I cant do anything right
I'm sorry I'm so ****** up
I'm sorry I'm to needy
I'm sorry I'm never enough
I'm sorry I have these thoughts I dont say out loud
I'm sorry I cant stop
I'm sorry I'm an idiot
I'm sorry about everything.
I truly am.
Jan 3
Jan 3, 2026 at 8:47 PM UTC
You see I'm a helper
I live for a
"miss, I need help"
or an
"Ana can you call right now?"
and that is exactly why I saved you
my dear
from having to save me everyday
I said goodbye
not to make you sad
but to free you from
the woman
that saves
in order
to be
saved.
Dec 3, 2025
Dec 3, 2025 at 11:36 PM UTC
I only wish for the gusto to tell her
The remorse I feel
for the perverse love which I cast upon her
not a lover's quarrel
nor sun rays beaming on us during kitchen chores
rather a beast hunting in the dark knowing she sleeps soundly and safely as a lamb in a pen I created
Sep 23, 2025
Sep 23, 2025 at 2:19 PM UTC
I haven’t even loved anyone since you
I used others to try and feel better
Maybe if I try I will love them
And I never truly did, I think
(I don’t even know anymore)
I’m cruel and heartless, truly
using others to try and pull away from you
so just try and forget it.
you know you can’t.
You were even aesthetically pleasing when paired with me
first in many things, you and yours were my people
i can’t believe i still write about you
think about you
care about you
Love you
are you like a brother? or are you like a lover?
either way, you were the closest to me
Even today I’m still trying to pick the bits of you out of the most of me
where does your influence end and my life begin?
I can’t let myself date someone else until i feel a love for them, a real kind of love
(like the one i feel for you)
I’m still waiting to feel
using others to try and fill in the gaps doesn’t work, but for some reason i still want to do it
Aug 8, 2025
Aug 8, 2025 at 10:50 PM UTC