#hotels
Around midnight
the lobby becomes emotionally unreliable
Businessmen drift through automatic doors
smelling like expensive exhaustion
A pianist near the bar
plays jazz softly enough
to avoid responsibility
At reception
a woman argues with someone in Italian
not loudly
just with the controlled despair
of a person who already lost the argument
three years ago
Outside
rain shines on black cars
like polished regret
The concierge keeps smiling
with professional tenderness
which should qualify
as a medical condition
A tired pilot drinks whiskey alone
while watching silent news coverage
of another financial collapse
Nobody reacts
Markets fail constantly now
like modern relationships
quietly
digitally
with excellent graphic design
At 22:17 p.m.
a child appears in the lobby
wearing dinosaur pajamas
He stares at the chandelier
like he personally invented wonder
Every adult nearby
looks briefly devastated
The bartender stops polishing glasses
The pianist misses a note
Somewhere inside the hotel
ice falls into a metal bucket
with remarkable emotional timing
The child points upward and says:
“Look.”
And for one impossible moment
everyone does
Even the woman from Italy
Even the pilot
Even me
The chandelier hangs above us
huge and unnecessary
glowing like something civilization built
before it became embarrassed by beauty
Then the elevator opens
Someone checks their phone
The spell breaks professionally
Morning approaches slowly
through revolving doors
Outside
delivery trucks begin restocking the city
with bottled water
tiny shampoos
imported fruit
fresh newspapers describing catastrophe
The pianist closes the lid gently
like apologizing to the century
May 2
May 2, 2026 at 12:39 PM UTC
Hospitable airport motels serve
Continental breakfast. It takes nerve
To think some continent
Serves food not fit for Lent.
Are stale corn flakes what their guests deserve?
Dec 13, 2024
Dec 13, 2024 at 3:47 PM UTC
I sat in restless chairs
I breathed stilted air
what feeling compares
with feeling squandered?
I’m not sadfishing,
I was bored at a 5-star hotel.
I’d swum the Atlantic - in the underground pool
and I felt like I was marinating in boredom.
It was as if the loudest thing in our suite was
the sound of my eyelashes flapping up and down.
I wasn’t in solitary confinement,
Lisa was there too - and just-as bored.
She didn’t complain, 'cause she’s ‘New Yorker’ stoic.
So I started complaining for her - for the team.
We’d filtered every boutique,
sampled every eclectic café,
there’s just nothing to do in Geneva.
It is an implacable reality.
Peter (my bf) was at work all day and we were on vacation.
It’s different when he’s around.
He walks into the room and I feel like
a phone that’s been placed on its charger
- the world lights up and I get - charged.
“We should make a list,” I'd announced, “the pros and cons of boredom.”
“No,” Lisa said, “Let’s name fun things.”
“Fruity Pebbles popcorn,” I started.
“Girl panda makeup” Lisa offered,
“Foot massages and bubblegum”
“Cotton candy and sunflowers”
“Holidays and sparkly things!”
- we went on and on and on and -
“kittens” I updogged dreamily, before I switched the subject completely.
“We need to go to Paris!” I pronounced, excitedly.
“Oh yeah?” Lisa asked, with a little side head-bob.
“Actionable intel,” I whispered, “Grandmère wants to see me.”
Lisa gasped, adding, “You’re in TROUBLE,” drawing the last syllable out slowly.
“That would be a first,” I laughed.
“Kisses!” She exclaimed, resuming the game.
I remembered the first time I thought of kissing Peter. The thought was a flash, an emotional Rorschach test and I smiled. It was like a movie kiss, an abstract heaven - not the breathy, ****** kisses of real life.
“Where’d you go?” Lisa asked, grinning.
Some emotions are too thick for words.
.
.
Songs for this:
Good Luck, Babe! by Chappell Roan
Disco Boots by Gavin Turek
Jul 14, 2024
Jul 14, 2024 at 8:49 PM UTC
I flew to Chicago last Friday night
my great uncle was turning a hundred.
The plan was to fly-in Friday, party Saturday,
and fly out Sunday. No missed school.
The air felt colder in Chicago, the wind really bit,
and the sun seemed to be at an odd angle.
We stopped by the beach of a lake so large
that there were waves breaking on the beach.
The party was great. EVERYONE was there.
But then there was the choreography of luck.
I woke up sick Sunday morning - really sick -
deathly sick, you know the drill, weak
like my muscles were falling off my bones.
At 8am Charles called - I should have met him.
I couldn’t lift the phone - I poked the button.
“I’m not going anywhere,” I told him before falling back asleep.
KLUNK I heard my hotel room door open, it was Charles.
He came in looking like he expected a threat.
I could only open my eyes for a second.
“I’ve GOT it,” I told him, (not knowing what ‘it’ was)
“Get out, save yourself.”
So went Sunday and Monday - I didn’t eat or drink.
Charles canceled flights, extended hotel room bookings,
and the car rental. Finally, Tuesday morning, he said,
“I think you’d better try.” So somehow, we flew and we made it.
There was a famous football player across the aisle from me
He’s retired now, like all of my heroes - Brady, Manning.
He played for the Ravens, I’d hated the ravens, I’d hated him,
the way you hate someone just because they’re great
but they play for the other team. I didn’t tell him, and sadly,
I didn’t warn him that I might just throw up on him (I was masked).
Charles bought me one of those horseshoe pillows and I passed out.
Before I knew it I was back in the dorm.
Being sick and helpless, away from the comforts of home is the worst.
I’ll have to remember that - someday - If I’m a doctor.
Apr 10, 2024
Apr 10, 2024 at 9:47 PM UTC
Time is ticking... As I lay here in empty silence Im reminded.....
Of you
Of her
Of how you two deserve the better me. The me who doesn't need a buzz, who can be there and give you 2 love.
I will admit....this feeling of being alone feels normal now but I still remember your touch.
As time ticks by... That's all for now.....The thought of you is to much.
May 12, 2021
May 12, 2021 at 2:53 AM UTC
His back was slightly hunched, but not to the extent that a stranger would notice. His lip jutted forward, like an animal edging towards a precipice. He used his voice instrumentally. His clothes were generic. People would not remember him after a fleeting meeting, he was not regarded as a charismatic man. He was born in Gateshead, England, although his name was Schultz.
He entered the hotel with minimal fuss, neutrally. Schultz did everything with the air of a man who wished to leave no trace after him, unaware that he was being pursued and plans were in place to put an end to his existence. The youth at the reception desk, looked out of place, exceedingly handsome but in an androgynous way. It was very difficult to read the youth. He was all function. 'I have a reservation'' the youth opened his mouth to respond as the chandelier fell. The impact was fatal. A noteworthy end to a monotone man.
Nov 12, 2019
Nov 12, 2019 at 5:50 AM UTC
I travel all over the state
Different jobs, never the same hotel
Always alone in my bed
This week I reddened from the sun
First visit to the beach
Mini vacation to forget what’s in my head
Then I invite him in my room
Both drunk from downing cheap spirits
Scared of the outcome I still say come in
We watch tv and make small talk
An hour passes and we lay side by side
He looks at me and we both know
Under the influence our smiles match
A touch of my leg, his hand is gentle
We hug and he leaves for his room
Not ten minutes pass and I invite him back
All I offer is to cuddle
My face still warm from the burn
I changed to shorts and a cropped sweater
He joins me back and lays in my bed
His arm is comforting around me
Turning to look at him I realize he’s not
who I have been seeing
He is all the bad
But also good that he hides
I can’t remember if I did or if he did
We lean in and his lips are soft
His tongue opens my smile and I accept it
Fitting perfectly in his side I wrap around
His legs entangled with mine
Pulling me closer he grabs me tenderly
It’s another man in love with someone else
Yet here I am being held in his strong arms
Falling back, I remind him of his other
Admitting it’s complicated we just hold each other
A silent kiss is shared once more
He escapes back
The feeling of his hands rubbing my back echos my mind
Kissing my forehead while my eyes are closed, it remains
We’ll act as if it never happened
I’ll live with the memory and try to hate him less at work
Now back home we go
What a trip.
Jun 26, 2019
Jun 26, 2019 at 6:30 PM UTC
I'm awake
Wide awake at 12 in the morning
Ready for my eyes to be heavy with sleep, but instead my eyes are heavy with tears
While my family is sleeping in the bed next to mine
I lay still and empty of life as not to wake them at 12 in the morning, when the world itself is not even up yet
May 12, 2019
May 12, 2019 at 1:57 AM UTC
White sheets flutter...
they dance around the room
they whip and crack like storm-kissed sails
I cower in fear, my bed is empty save for pillows.
I rest my head
I'm nearly dead
I ache with dread
I crumble, like abandoned bread
and the table we set
is unwoven by time.
Splinters, like loose thread, pile up as do bones.
We are no longer held together by compassion,
we are butchered by sharp tongues and piercing glares,
for shame! We thought it was a funhouse, but we revel in slaughter.
White sheets flutter...
they wave like sleeping flags
they wave like quaking lands
then they settle and I hear the white sheets whisper
and the whispers haunt me
are they soaked by old lovers
tears like oceans raining into the sky
blood like rivers escaping the bed
bowels of deceit coughing up their secrets
let us drink all this vile bile and be drunken by horrors.
Is that the only way we can escape?
Mar 18, 2017
Mar 18, 2017 at 3:46 PM UTC
There I was.
Loitering in the lobby of her heart, after a long flight the only thing on my mind was rest.
The aroma was nice, stepping in through the double doors.
Following the stretch of carpet to the front desk.
Air conditioner stationed right above the door soon as you walked in.
Almost feeling myself sink into the splash of a fresh comforter.
I stood at the front counter waiting to be checked in.
Didn't quite feel like home.
The longer I waited the more anxious I became.
Messing around with the pen chained to the desk.
Making circles and snake like motions with the chain.
Noticing the dust under one of those small relaxation fountains at the closest end of the receptionist's desk.
The hum growing louder signifying that the water needed to be refilled.
More interesting.
There were no vacancies.
Good that I made reservations a month before time.
Noticing the aquarium over by the elevator.
There I stood loitering in the lobby.
Patiently waiting.
After a while, it sinks in that all lobbies are the same.
An endless void of waiting.
Was it absurd that I envied the fish watching me from the aquarium.
It's a strong possibility that he fell asleep watching me wait as the receptionist hasn't quite made it back yet
Nov 17, 2016
Nov 17, 2016 at 10:10 AM UTC
*Every hotel room
makes me remember you, dear,
lonely paramour.*
Jan 29, 2016
Jan 29, 2016 at 11:00 AM UTC
They don’t remember
her
Well, she got burnt out
in a hotel and lost
herself
Now,
you can’t make anything
out of
her.
-DDF
Dec 2, 2015
Dec 2, 2015 at 10:18 AM UTC
I'm filtering you through the crack of light that universally seeps through all hotel room doors at the tender hour of 3am.
That is to say,
this isn't a sonnet of love
Or an overly romanticized image of a 21st century youth,
This is realism
In that I am trying to process everything around me like it will disappear tomorrow
Sipping tepid cola watching the day fade through the trees
Losing track of time or when the hell I'm supposed to be anywhere
Because lately I've been going no where
Tracing my veins and driving in circles around your block
Trying to remind myself that though we live in an infinite universe,
And though we are all alone in our own skin
we're still connected through the cracks in the concrete and the curve of the earth.
And I think about all the river water I drank in trying to get to your shore
All the time I've waisted hanging just outside your door
And I know I tend to get stuck on the little things like the songs we sang or the arch of your foot
But I'm just trying to ******* process you so I don't have to spend one more night on my best friends couch staring at my skin wondering where all the time went,
Wondering if I had cleaned up a little better
then my mind wouldn't be so spent
So I'm staring into the light coming through the hotel door at 3am so I can filter you out of my chest and onto paper
So if I disappear tomorrow
I can know your memory for today.
Oct 26, 2015
Oct 26, 2015 at 11:40 PM UTC
I must report the passing of a dear old friend today
I'm not sure when it happened, but I felt I had to say
That the Vegas that's in movies, books, and on TV
Is not the one that you will find, it's not the one you'll see
I know your expectations are of glitter and of lights
Of singers in the lounges that play into the night
The lounges now are empty of the singers and the bands
Instead they're full of djs, and bad magicians badly tanned,
The song that was Las Vegas is not one thats in your head
The one you know with Elvis, is now gone, you see it's dead
The old hotels are gone now, It's not like it was before
The new buzzword in Vegas is now just, MORE, MORE, MORE
It's now a culture aimed at being bigger than the rest
For now it seems that bigger, means you're now known as the best
There's hotels full of bedbugs and the service is the *****
But, the casino doesn't care if there are people in the pits
The strip is nearly two miles long, and almost half is blank
It's like the desert opened up and ten casinos sank
At one end is the Stratosphere, it's got a real cool view
But, because of it's location it's not easy to get to
The Sahara was next closest, but now the Lady's gone
And to walk from this tram stop at night, well I cannot say it's fun
It's dingy and it's ***** and it's not a place to be
I wouldn't recommend this part, it's not a place to see
Freemont Street, The Old Vegas is off the beaten path
It's an hour ride upon the bus, and a taxi...do the math
It's just a place to go to once, there's no reason to return
And if you ever visit here, I think that's what you'll learn
The middle part of the strip is glitzy and spread out
It's kind of close to what Las Vegas is about
It's not all geared to people who have childeren all in tow
These ultra cool casinos is where you might just want to go
The other end is busy, but it's full of gloom and doom
And on every single corner, you can get girls to your room
There's people handing out small cards with women with a price
Who'll come up to your room and well....let's say they don't play dice
On every bridge across the strip, there's beggars and there's hawkers
They're selling everything from cds to bottled dollar water
It's tourist town, a fast food mess, it's Disneyland on crack
There's lots of things to do down here, but you must always watch your back
Did The Mirage **** it?, when Steve Wynn said let's go really huge
Hotels like this were ten times larger than the Moulin Rouge
It wasn't when Hughes came to town and bought the Desert Inn
You know the land that's now the new home of the casino known as Wynn?
It didn't die when Elvis left, it sill was full of life
But at someime since the town has died, it has fallen on the knife
The strip itself is two miles long, but you know that that's not all
In the years since Elvis left, it's become a big strip mall
There's stores here selling plastic , and the people shop in streams
I'm not sure, but to me NIKE is not the Vegas in my dreams
Rolling in their graves, I bet the stars who made this town
Are sitting in heaven or hell, saying when did it go down
There's more shows now of tribute acts and hypnotists galore
And you can find a Circus from Quebec through nearly every hotel door
At some point rigor mortis set into this old girl
I wish they could revive her, at least give it a whirl
There's buffets selling fried foods, obesity....my lord
And if you don't go out to Denny's, the restaurants you can't afford
My mind has got an image of Vegas that is cool
It involves going out late and spending daytime at the pool
You dress to go to dinner, maybe dancing and a show
And the concierge at the hotel is someone you should know
But now, you go out shopping to the outlet in the day
The casinos are all empty, since there's no one left to play
Getting dressed to go to dinner, means you switch from shorts to jeans
And the ways some people act now, well it's borders on obscene.
So, today I'd like to ask you all, for you may know more than I
But, can anybody tell me, just when did Vegas die?
May 4, 2012
May 4, 2012 at 2:11 PM UTC
I hate Dallas
But the hotels nice
Well, at least the view is
See it?
Beautiful isn’t it.
That was earlier today.
Now I’m here
Just standing here ****
In front of this window
I’m wishing someone to see me
For a good laugh
Or
Maybe they will muster up the courage to come knock on my door
Even with the Do Not Disturb Sign hanging from the ****
It’s something about hotels that gets me thinking this way
Out of sorts and more so in the gutter
To think of all the love made between these walls
Passionate - married, unmarried, one night stands, flings…
the good, the bad, and the really REALLY bad
I imagine more of the third
I’m not this way at home
I lay content in my cotton sheets with the occasional hum of a car passing
But here, in this hotel looking out 26 stories above the city
All I want is you…against me
Until the sun rises
Where we will carry on
Go back to our lives
In silence
May 5, 2014
May 5, 2014 at 12:03 AM UTC